


Kissed by a Wolf

by abbysfrenchbraid



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Lovers, F!Eivor - Freeform, F/F, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Historical, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Lesbian Sex, Lesbian Yearning, Multi, Smut, Vikings, and a cute cat, its gonna have it all, strap in for a long ride
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:14:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27892132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbysfrenchbraid/pseuds/abbysfrenchbraid
Summary: The reader is a servant to an English lord, when one day Eivor raids their village and takes the reader and others with her as prisoners. The reader starts to form a closer relationship to the Viking and is able to work their way up in their new community.
Relationships: Eivor (Assassin's Creed) & Original Female Character(s), Eivor (Assassin's Creed) & Reader, Eivor (Assassin's Creed)/Reader, Eivor/Reader
Comments: 71
Kudos: 202





	1. Cutting Ties

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to your kitchen and to the night you meet Lady Eivor, I can't wait to see where this takes us. 
> 
> For this chapter there is a big content warning for graphic violence, suicide, death, abuse, and blood. If you want to know what exactly happens regarding to specific triggers, feel free to message me on tumblr (abbysfrenchbraid) and I'll let you know or give you a censored version.

You were kneading dough on the big wooden kitchen table when Henry rushed in, out of breath and red-faced from the cold outside. He was the head of the servants and had been tasked by your lord to prepare a feast for tonight. You had been cooking since before sunrise and everyone in the village was excited for tonight. Lord William’s wife and daughters were decorating the house and preparing an enormous bonfire in the center of the village. Delia, one of the daughters, was supposedly getting engaged tonight, forging important alliances with the neighbor shire. 

“How are you holding up, Y/N? Everything according to schedule?” Henry asked, placing a friendly hand on your shoulder and squeezing it in reassurance. 

You wiped your sweaty forehead with your upper arm before taking a knife to cut intricate little patterns into the dough, William’s emblem in the middle of them. This was the last loaf of bread, two dozen were already cooling off in the corner. 

“Everything seems to be going well so far,” you said, “is the bonfire ready?”

Before Henry could answer, you heard loud sobbing in the corridor, accompanied by footsteps coming closer. The door sprang open and Delia stumbled into the kitchen, holding her cheek and crying inconsolably. Henry was quick to help her to a chair before dipping a towel into the water basin and holding it to her face.

“Did he hit you again?” he asked with a tenderness in his voice that made you look up at them. Delia had laid her hand on top of his and looked at him through a veil of tears, only managing to nod in response. She grabbed his linen shirt and pulled him closer, burying her face in his side. 

Oh no. This wasn’t good. 

“I told him I don't want to get engaged to some old, wrinkly toad. He screamed at me, saying I had no worth to him and the only way to put daughters to use was to marry them off. I couldn’t help myself, I said that I loved someone else and he struck me four times for it. I can’t be seen like this tonight!”

She was right. A bruise was already forming on her cheek and brow bone, no one would take a battered bride. William had always wanted sons. Because his wife hadn’t given him any, he let his anger out on her and his daughters as he pleased. He was a tyrant, but there was nothing anyone could do. He was the lord. 

You used a wooden shovel to put the last loaf of bread in the stone oven, then you left the unlucky couple alone in the kitchen and tried to find Eda, Delia’s sister. You met her in the stables, her head pressed against the neck of her beautiful red mare. She was mumbling to her and the horse stood perfectly still, seeming to listen and provide comfort to the young woman. You announced yourself by clearing your throat and Eda turned to look at you. Her face was tear-streaked. Oh, what a day.

“Miss Eda?” you tried to keep a light tone. “Your sister isn’t well. I think it might be best for you to come and take a look at her.” 

Eda gave you a solemn nod, rubbed over the mare’s soft nose in parting and followed you back to the kitchen. As you entered, you could see that Delia had stopped crying and Henry was applying a salve to her face. The air was filled with the scent of mint and lavender alongside the wonderful smell of freshly baked bread. 

“Oh, sweet sister.” Eda rushed to Delia’s side and cupped her face in her hands. “What have you done?”

Delia pressed her lips together and Henry helped her out. 

“She told Milord that she wouldn’t marry anyone for him. He was furious.”

“Damn this place.” Eda suddenly blurted out. She stood up and balled her hands into fists. “He can’t treat us like this, we’re his daughters, his own flesh and blood. He can’t just sell us off like cattle!”

You and Henry exchanged a quick glance, both holding your breaths. She was right, but you were not allowed to make any remarks of that kind. Delia started crying again, but Eda slammed her hand on the table in frustration. You knew the feeling too well. 

Suddenly Henry straightened up. “Y/N, what’s that smell?” 

Fuck. The bread. 

Quickly you pulled it out of the oven, but it was already coal-black and hard as stone. You threw it on the table. The kitchen immediately filled with the stench of burned grain. How much could go wrong in one day? You couldn’t picture it getting any worse than this. 

You were in for a surprise. 

The door suddenly banged open and the small frame of Lord William, II. of his name, entered the kitchen. 

“What is this? Are you all conspiring against me? Sitting around while I do all the work! Unforgivable!” he bellowed, pointing his fingers at each one of you. 

“Delia, stop this madness, you ungrateful wench! You have the opportunity to honor this house and here you sit, moping and wailing! I should sell you to the Danish savages!”

Delia cried out in horror and ran out of the kitchen. No one dared to follow her. 

William’s gaze fell on the burned bread on the table. His face became even redder than before, a thing you had not thought possible. With one step he was in front of you, grabbing your shoulder with icy, piercing fingers and shaking you.

“You useless, stupid girl! I do not pay you to burn my hard-earned grain! Do you know how much I am paying for this day? This will cost you your week’s earnings, mark my words!” 

He let go of you and was about to turn to Eda when you answered: “There are two dozen perfect loaves with your emblem ready for this night. I was taking care of your wounded daughter.”

Before you had even the chance to regret this remark, he had whirled around and struck you with the back of his hand. He hit you so hard that you flew back against the shelves, tearing down vases of onions and carrots with you in a terrible cacophony of Eda screaming, clay breaking, and the ringing in your ears. His seal ring had caught your cheekbone, blood instantly beginning to flow down your face and neck. You were paralyzed for a second, struggling to breathe as you lay between the broken pots and vegetables and stared at William, still in disbelief at what had happened.

There was a flicker in his eyes, just the hint of realization that he had gone too far. He huffed and turned on his heel, then he was out the door. 

Henry fell to his knees next to you and tried to pull you up to a seated position. You could feel the blood spreading downward through the fabric of your dress and warming your chest. Eda was still paralyzed, staring at you from the table. 

“Miss Eda, a cloth, please!” Henry commanded. She caught herself and grabbed Delia’s cloth before rushing to your side. Henry gently dabbed the wet fabric on your cheek and while Delia began cleaning your neck and chest with another towel. 

“Y/N? Can you hear me? How are you feeling?” he asked, trying to suppress the panic and concern in his voice. You looked at him and managed to croak: “I’m alright.” 

“Good. This is going to need stitches, and quickly.” He stood up and grabbed a bottle of brown liquor from the top shelf, handing it to Eda. “Give her this. She’ll start feeling the pain in a minute.” 

He rummaged around in a small chest next to the door and found a needle and thread. You took the opened bottle from Eda’s hands and quickly gulped down a good amount before it could start to burn in your throat. Your head started spinning almost immediately. 

“I had to do this a lot when I was in the army. I’ll try to be quick.” He gave you an apologetic smile as he crouched down next to you, then he went to work. 

Eda left at some point to look for Delia, taking the bread with her to give it to the pigs. Henry had helped you up and sat you on a chair in the corner before starting to clean up the terrible mess. You slowly came back to yourself and to reality, feeling dizzy from the blow and the liquor but glad about the fog in your mind finally clearing up. 

After an hour or so, you got up and back to work, starting to assort the cheese and meat platters and sending after a few other servants to carry them to the table. Henry helped you at first, but then he had to go and make sure everything was set and ready. After there was nothing else to do in the kitchen, you went to your chamber to change into your more formal clothes. 

A metal plate was hung on the wall next to your door to serve as a mirror. As you stood in front of it and held a candle up to your face, you didn’t recognize yourself. Your left eye was swollen almost completely shut, your cheek was a dark, almost black purple and the wound was held together by four stitches. It was still seeping blood occasionally, but when you wiped it off there was no real difference.

You took off your dusty, flour-stained linen dress and managed to put on your black dress with the white apron and bonnet. This evening would stretch forever and sleep seemed years away. Now you were really wishing for another swig of that cheap servant’s whiskey.

-

The feast began without any further incidents. Lord Wulfred from the shire north of yours had actually come and was sitting next to William and opposite your Lady at the head of the table. You stayed in the shadow, keeping an eye on the table and advising the other servants to get more wine or bring more cheese at times. Delia sat next to Wulfred, a man in his fifties, almost as wide as he was tall. His grey beard was yellow around his mouth and food got stuck in hit as he ate. His promised bride looked miserable. You could see she was holding hands with her sister next to her, trying hard to keep her composure. 

As the meal came to an end and the table had almost vanished under a heap of gnawed off bones, crumbs, cheese rinds, and fruit stones, William rose from his chair, holding a bronze cup in his hand. 

It got silent in a matter of seconds. Delia’s face was as white as snow, her fingers desperately clinging to her sister. Wulfred was gulping down beer and it was trickling out of the corners of his mouth into his beard. Poor Delia. 

“I have assembled you all here tonight because there is a special occasion, one that calls for a second celebration very soon.” William was relishing in the attention of his guests and savoring every word. “As some of you may know, my eldest daughter Delia has now reached an age where there is more to do for her than sitting around all day and eating me out of house and home.” He laughed and all the men in his audience joined in, hollering and raising their cups in approval while the few women at the table smiled politely.

“It is for that very reason that Wulfred and I have come -”

There was a bang outside and you could hear men’s voices yelling, sounding alarmed. William’s face distorted into a sour grimace, angry about the ruined tension. Another loud noise, now downstairs inside the house, caused a few people to jump up from their seats. 

“Everybody calm down. Henry, see what’s going on,” William said and motioned to the door. Henry gave Delia a short, but deeply meaningful look, then he vanished into the dark corridor. Now you could hear metal clanking outside and finally, someone rang the alarm bell. Everyone stirred now, some people running to the windows or pulling weapons.

Wulfred got up with difficulty and waddled to one of the windows as well. He stuck his head into the small frame and immediately snapped back around. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, an arrow pierced his head from the back, the bloody tip sticking out in front of his surprised eyes. He fell to the floor with a thump and let out a last huff, then he lay still and one of the women started shrieking in horror.

There was noise on the stairs now and suddenly Henry reappeared, his shirt torn down the middle and a gash on his shoulder. He shut the door behind him and called to the other servants who immediately pushed a big chest in front of it, barricading the entry for the moment. 

“Milord, Vikings are attacking the village. Their leader is a colossal woman. It must be the She-Wolf from Norway.” He was breathing heavily and braced himself on one of the chairs to keep himself standing up. 

Something was ramming the door in a slow, steady rhythm. The heavy chest moved ever so slightly with every new blow. You whistled to get the other servants’ attention and waved them over into your corner. You were terrified, but you tried to seem calm and collected so the others wouldn't panic.

“We are not their targets, we have nothing to our names. If you want to fight, fight. I will not risk my life for this tyrant. Everyone who wants to live can stay here with me.” No one moved. You nodded. “Thank the lord. Now let us sit down, fold our hands, and pray.” 

With a deafening crash, the door exploded into the room and a tall, broad-shouldered woman with long blonde hair and gruesome black paint around her eyes jumped through the hole in the wood and over the chest. Four men followed, swords drawn. The she-wolf let her eyes wander over the faces in the room, the men with their daggers and swords, the women behind them and William in the middle. Then her gaze fell on you. You had told all the other servants to sit behind you, bow their heads and show their empty hands in their laps while you sat before them, willing to do whatever it took to protect your chosen family. You locked eyes with the Viking woman and your blood froze in your veins as she narrowed her eyes for a second, then she turned to William. 

“Are you Lord William, master of this shire?”

Delia and Henry were slowly crawling along the wall toward you and managed to sit down next to you without getting too much attention. Their fingers were intertwined, tears were streaming down Delia’s face and Henry held her close as he watched the scene in front of you unfold.

“I am.” William proudly lifted his chin. “Who are you, Viking whore, to come into my house uninvited?”

The men behind the she-wolf laughed, but she just lifted an eyebrow and laid her hand on the handle of her sword. It was still sheathed. She seemed incredibly calm during all this. 

“This is no longer your house. The decision is yours: die at the hands of my men or give up now and come with us as prisoners.” 

The stare she gave William pierced him like a spear, making him writhe underneath its sting and making you hope to never become the target of her wrath. 

William shook his head and huffed, then he lifted his sword. 

“We will not cower before you, Viking whore. For England!” he bellowed and the other men repeated the war cry before storming towards the small group of warriors. 

The woman unsheathed her sword in the blink of an eye and the men behind her jumped forward to meet the English guests. You saw the chance immediately. Slapping Henry‘s knee, you nodded toward the opening in the door. He alerted Delia and she silently agreed. Both of them crawled on all fours, staying low and going along the walls until they had reached the door and quickly climbed out. You wished them the best of luck and said a prayer in their wake. You couldn't leave the others behind. You would stay, no matter what happened, no matter how terrified you were.

The fight was quick, one of the Vikings caught a sword to his arm and bled from a mean gash but the others stayed unharmed. They killed their opponents in a matter of minutes and did not shy away from killing some of their wives who had also drawn knives in hopes of defending themselves. In the end, there was only your group and William’s wife with two other women left. And Eda, standing in a corner all alone.

The two women fell to their knees and swore to follow and to serve if their life was spared. Your Lady however stayed standing up, her chin raised and her eyes filled with terrible sadness and immense pain. 

“I have served all my life. I have endured beatings, rape, and being treated like an animal.” Eda whimpered next to you as she realized what was about to happen. Her mother pulled a tiny dagger from her sleeve and held it gently in her hand. The she-wolf motioned for her men to wait. 

“I will not bow my head to anyone else. This suffering has to end.“ She gave a loving, sorrowful look to her daughters, then she turned the dagger toward herself and drove it into her chest. Eda cried out and tumbled towards her mother, catching her mid-fall and cradling her head in her lap as blood began to pool on the floor. 

The Viking woman turned to you and took a few steps in your direction. She looked down at you with a curious twinkle in her eye. You clenched your fists, asking God for assistance.

„And who are you?“ she asked, her deep voice suddenly much kinder. You forced yourself to breathe in and straighten up.

„We were Lord William‘s servants. We have no love left for him. We will go with you freely.“ You held out your empty hands for her to see. „I am not your enemy.“

She took one of your hands and pulled you up, not letting go of your hand as she stared into your eyes. You let out a shaky breath, but held her gaze.

„You're still English,“ she said before letting go of you and taking a few steps back, not turning from you. Of course she wouldn’t trust you. 

„Bind them and take them to the ship.“ she ordered her men, then she pushed the heavy chest away from the door like it was nothing. She simply pulled the door frame, which was in shambles, out of the wall and let it fall to the ground. Then she was gone.


	2. A Change of Alliance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is taken to Eivor's village and imprisoned with the other servants. She has a first opportunity to look around and learn about Eivor's clan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning for physical injury, alcohol consumption, imprisonment, bodily fluids.  
> If you want to know what exactly happens regarding specific triggers, feel free to message me on tumblr (abbysfrenchbraid) and I'll let you know or give you a censored version.

“Everyone on the boat!” the broad-shouldered man at the front of the wooden ship roared.

You, Eda, and the other servants were all bound by the wrists and attached to one long rope, stumbling close behind one another. The man leading you roughly pulled you forward over the landing bridge and ordered you to sit together in the back of the boat. You all huddled together in the back corner and you leaned close to Eda, trying to reassure and comfort her. 

In your heart, you knew there was nothing you could do to help her. Her parents were gone and her sister, bless her, was hopefully somewhere far away with Henry. And you were on your way to God knows where. 

A tall figure stepping on the boat made you look up. It was her, the blonde warrior who had ordered that you be captured and taken back to their camp. Even though you were still frightened of the barbarian warriors, you seemed to be out of mortal danger for the moment. But what when you arrived? Would they keep you in cages? Make you slaves, torture you, make examples out of you for the amusement of their friends? 

You could feel the panic rising in your throat and it became harder and harder to breathe. Cold sweat was breaking out on your forehead and your face was tingling. Your fear threatened to take over all your senses. Pressing your eyes shut, you tried to pinch your fingertips with your thumbnail, counting them one by one and concentrating on the stinging sensation. You needed to stay present and calm. 

Suddenly something was touching your cheek and you recoiled in fear, jerking your eyes open and instinctively throwing your arms up to brace yourself for impact. You were staring at the surprised face of the she-wolf, holding up her empty hands. 

“Calm yourself, little bird. I mean you no harm. I was merely inspecting the bruise on your cheek. It looks fresh.”

You lowered your eyes and nodded, not trusting your voice to work yet.

“Who did this to you?” She laid two fingers underneath your chin and gently lifted it to meet your gaze. Her eyes were a deep blue, pulling you in and daring you to dive under. You cleared your throat.

“Lord William. He was very… short-tempered.” Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Eda silently sobbing. 

The warrior let go of your chin and tilted her head ever so slightly. 

“Well, he is gone now. He will never lay a hand on you again.”

She stood up and put her hands on her hips, skimming over the scared faces in front of her.

“My name is Eivor the Wolf-Kissed. I am in command of this crew. I promise you all that you will not be harmed as long as you follow my orders. If you are thinking of escaping or hurting one of us, spare yourself the embarrassment. You are nothing against my skilled warriors. For now, sit still and don’t make a sound until we arrive.”

Eivor nodded at you, then she turned around and walked to the front of the ship while two men loosened the ropes and pushed the boat away from the shore. She sat down on a seat overseeing the rowers and commanded to set off. 

The sun was setting as you sailed away from the place you had grown up in and always called your home, and you suddenly felt a strange weight lift off your chest. Everything was going to change now, nothing tied you to Williamsburg and no one knew what the day, the week, the year would bring. You would just have to trust in God to lead the way and keep you safe. Even if you were going to stay a captive and servant to Eivor all your life, it could not be much worse than the life you had led before. 

Eda was still crying next to you, shaking violently as she tried to keep herself from making any noise. You managed to take her bound hands into yours and squeeze them, trying to tell her how much you felt for her. She let her head fall on your shoulder and within a few minutes, the fabric of your dress was wet with her tears. The poor girl had lost her family, her home, and her future in the blink of an eye. She would never be the same. None of you would. 

You must have dozed off because you woke with a start at a loud cry to lower the sail. Eda had also fallen asleep on your shoulder and now raised her head, her eyes swollen from crying and her expression confused and panicky, slowly becoming more and more terrified and grief-stricken as the realization set in that she had not dreamt all of this. You gave her a look of commiseration, then you tried to straighten up and have a look around.

The landscape was not too different even though you must have sailed all night, a thin orange band on the horizon heralding in a new day. There was a docking station with a few more boats and a single guard standing next to a fire pit. He waved and a few of the men on your boat raised their hands in greeting as well. Eivor threw the guard the heavy rope and he fastened it to a wooden pillar. 

You turned around to the others and whispered to them to wake up. The first ones who woke gently nudged the others, all their faces going through the same realization that they were still prisoners and their eyes filling with fear again. 

Eivor jumped on the dock first, warmly greeting the man waiting for her and ordering the others to unload all the goods they had pillaged. A few people who were up already came down from the village to help bring the treasures and supplies to the longhouse. The man who had brought you on the boat now ordered you all to stand up and come with him. You were all stiff and sore from sitting crouched together on the hard wooden floor all night and two of you fell on their way off the boat. Luckily, no one fell into the water. None of you could swim. 

You were taken to the longhouse as well and put into a cell made of wooden beams in a slightly secluded corner in the back. They didn’t loosen the ropes around your wrists and instead bound each one of you to one of the beams so you could sit in front of them but not help or touch each other. There was no hope of escape. 

You could hear the growing bustle in the main hall of the longhouse as more and more people joined the warriors for a warm welcome. When they walked by your cell, you could make out talk about a big celebration in the evening when everyone was assembled. Some came up close to stare at you or mock you, but most people didn’t even glance in your direction. You were nothing to them.

The day passed and at some point, someone came to throw some stale bread into your cell. Later a younger woman, accompanied by an armed warrior, entered with a bucket of water and a wooden ladle. She gave everyone to drink and finally announced that you were going to be taken outside to relieve yourself one by one. For a few people, this was coming too late, but she promised them new clothes and water to wash themselves.

You were unbound and taken outside one prisoner at a time. By the fifth, it dawned on you that they were all taking extraordinarily long for the simple tasks they were hoping to fulfill. The ones that came back stayed silent, their heads bowed. 

When it finally came to your turn, you were wary of what was going to happen to you, but your bladder felt like you were going to tear at any minute. The pair of Vikings led you outside and into some high grass behind the building where you had to crouch down and relieve yourself under the watchful eyes of the dark-haired woman. When you were finished, they took you back into the longhouse, but to your surprise, they headed for a different room at the opposite end of the long hall and into a small room with a wooden table and heaps of paper scrolls on the shelves on the walls. A map was spread out on the massive tabletop and small figures were placed on it to mark different spots. 

A woman with auburn hair was standing next to the table with her arms crossed. Her gaze fell on the wound on your cheek and you thought you saw the tiniest hint of recognition in her eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. 

“Sit her down,” she commanded and gestured to a tree stump on the floor next to the table. You cautiously sat down, thankful to sit in an elevated position for the first time since… when had been the last time? Yesterday morning at breakfast? It seemed years away. 

The woman was wearing a beautifully elaborate chest plate out of blue metal and even though her hair was in a braid, it seemed to flow freely. She was broad-shouldered and probably a warrior herself. Maybe she was the strategist for Eivor’s clan, seeing as she was here in the map room?

“What’s your name and what was your occupation?” she asked in a stern voice.

“Y/N. I was a servant to Lord William and the kitchen maid.” You forced yourself to keep your head up. 

“How much do you know about his relations to other lords and sires? Have you ever left your shire?”

“I was present at most of his important dinners. I know the surrounding area fairly well. Milord’s daughter and I used to ride out a lot when we were younger.” You had decided that there was no point in lying. Your village was lost, you had no ties there and you owed William nothing. If you had any chance at a better life, it was here. 

The woman seemed to understand that you were being genuine. Satisfied, she leaned over the map on the table. 

“You may stand up. Can you point out your village on this map?”

You stood up slowly, careful not to fall over as you saw white spots from the exhaustion and dehydration. Bracing yourself on the tabletop, you tried to get a grasp on the plan laid out in front of you. You had traveled much further than you had thought. These boats were incredibly swift. 

You gestured to a small bay surrounded by mountains in front of you. 

“This is our shire. I’ve left it eastward a few times,” - you rounded the corner of the table - “and visited the castle of Lord Winton. I believe he died two winters ago and his Stewart took over his shire. He is a foul man, greedy and cruel, even worse now that there is no one to restrain him.”

“I told you, we should have attacked Fort Winton right after Williamsburg.” A voice behind you made you spin around and you almost lost your footing but leaned back against the table to hold yourself upright. Eivor strode toward you, her hand clenched into a fist as she stared at the other woman with unmistakable anger. How long had she listened to you? 

“We could have had them both in two days.” She took a wooden figurine from a shelf and took away a white stone on Fort Winton, slamming the red figure down in its place. 

“Eivor, it was too dangerous without any knowledge of the area. Now -”

“I don’t want to hear it, Randvi. You treat me like a cub instead of the ravenous wolf I truly am.”

The copper-haired woman, Randvi, took a step back as if Eivor had stricken her. She seemed to want to say something else but swallowed down her rebuttal instead. You felt incredibly small and out of place between the two big women and their unresolved petulance. 

Suddenly, as if she had only just remembered you were there, Eivor turned to you and her expression became less irritated. 

“How are you, little bird? Are you being treated fairly?”

“Yes. Thank you, Lady Eivor.” you bowed your head, still too weak-kneed to try anything more extravagant. 

Randvi snorted and you looked up to see a crooked half-smile on Eivor’s lips. She crossed her arms and pressed her lips together to stay serious. As she took a breath to say something in reply, Randvi cut her off. 

“Thank you for all you’ve told us. I will summon you again soon so we can go into more detail. Do not speak of what you saw here with the others or you will regret it.” She nodded to the pair that had brought you. “You can take her away now.” 

You exchanged a quick look with Eivor. She still looked amused, but also contemplative, as if you had asked her a question that she didn’t know the answer to. As you left the room, you could see her turn to Randvi with a more hostile expression, speaking to her in a muffled voice.

-

The rest of the day was a blur. You got another round of water and bread before the celebrations began, then the longhouse was filled with people. There were three speeches praising Eivor and a short one from Eivor herself, praising her crewmates. 

The pain in your cheek had grown throughout the day and now the wound was seeping again. Your head was pounding from the stuffy air, the loud noise and the throbbing pain below your eye. Eda looked miserable, too. She had been crying all day, her face was blotchy and sunken in and she had not touched any of the food she had been offered. Hopefully, sleep would come soon and momentarily relieve her of her suffering.

A few drunken souls passed your cage that night, jeering and mocking, but none of you paid them any mind. As the noise finally decreased to a bearable level, you drifted into a state between waking and dreaming. 

You saw Delia and Henry, running through a dark forest. She was wearing a white dress, muddy and torn to shreds by the thorns and branches clawing at her to stop her flight. Henry was dressed in black, desperately trying to pull his bride with him. A rustle in the undergrowth told you they were running from something. A white wolf emerged from the thick bushes, snarling, and catching up to them. Suddenly it saw you and stopped its pursuit. It gave you a long, fixed stare before being swallowed by the fog.

Now there was Eivor, her piercing blue eyes and the scar on her cheek. She was standing in front of you and looking at you in wonder, in the air between you a single question. What was she asking of you? What answers was she seeking?

Slowly, you realized your eyes were open and you weren’t just imagining the she-wolf. Eivor was leaning on the wall outside of your cell, a wooden jug in her hand, and her gaze was on you. Her face was flushed and her eyes half-closed. She had been drinking all night. You turned your head ever so slightly to show her you were awake. The blonde warrior stayed perfectly still, her mouth hanging open and her hand lowering her jug too far so the mead was trickling to the floor. Did she not notice or did she not care?

Later you would not be able to recall how long Eivor had stood there. The moment seemed to last forever, encasing you in a cloud of sudden silence and clarity. There was something between you, something drawing you together and binding you to each other. Was it fate, destiny guiding your path? All you knew was that your story would be forever entangled with that of the woman that had taken you from your old life and made you part of hers.


	3. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader's injury is getting worse. A furry little lady saves the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for physical injury, bodily fluids, extreme pain, loss of consciousness, language.
> 
> Also I just noticed that Birna is also a character's name, but I thought it would still be a nice little tribute to that lesbian legend!

You woke up crying, the pain in your cheek threatening to split your head in half. Your cheek was wet from your tears and sticky from the wound that had been seeping all night. Eda stirred next to you and you both stared at each other in utter horror. William’s daughter looked like a corpse. Her cheeks and eyes had sunken deep into her skull and her face was a greyish color. You probably didn’t look any better, if her shock was any indication. 

The cell opened and you got your first round of water and bread for the day. The man feeding you gave you a pitiful look but did not say anything about your state. There was still alcohol on his breath and he looked annoyed about his task, probably wishing he was still in bed like the other warriors. You did not dare to ask for help.

You drifted in and out of consciousness for the next few hours as the last few other prisoners were taken to Randvi and questioned about their knowledge and alliances. There was an aura of hopelessness in your cell. No one was speaking, everyone was staring at their feet and flinching at any loud noise. Eda ate a piece of bread and got terrible stomach cramps but managed to keep it down. At least one good thing. 

People were going in and out of the longhouse, you could hear horses outside, swords clashing in the distance - probably training - and a few servants sweeping the big hall and cleaning up last night’s mess. Suddenly something small and white moved into your field of vision. Were you dreaming again? You were sure you had a fever by now.

But this was real, Eda saw it too. She had straightened up next to you, the faintest hint of a smile on her lips. A scrawny white cat was cautiously circling the cell and apparently scouring for leftovers. You quickly skimmed the ground for anything you could offer the little animal. And yes, there was a big crumb right next to your heel. You carefully pushed it closer to you with your foot and managed to get it all the way into your hands’ reach. 

Quietly whispering and purring to the cat, you tried to lure her closer. And sure enough, the little white lady slowly came closer to your hands. You stayed completely still and held out the crumb on your open palm. Carefully, the cat stuck its paw through the bars and pulled the crumb back toward her. She devoured it right away. Softly meowing, she looked up at you, asking for more. You smiled at the sweet animal, a silver lining on this terrible day in this terrible cell.

“Birna! Where are you, you little rascal?” a familiar raspy voice called out, this time in the sweetest singsong, making you smile even more. The cat did not move from its spot next to you, instead meowing back louder to call to her mistress. You slowly stretched out your hands and she watched them curiously, beginning to purr as you drew your fingertips over her soft fur. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Eivor rounding the corner, wearing nothing but a thick grey knee-length tunic and fur boots. She froze in her tracks when she saw the scene before her. You quickly pulled your hands back, thinking she was angry at you for petting the cat. She suddenly rushed to the guard that had fallen asleep on his chair, slapping his chest with the back of her hand and ripping the keys to your cell from his grasp. He jerked awake, but Eivor had already opened the door and squatted down next to you. 

“Fuck the gods.” She sounded astonished and extremely worried at the same time. “Damn you, Dag, how did you not see this? Her wound has festered!” 

Eivor’s voice got louder and angrier with every word. She placed a hand on your forehead. 

“She’s burning up! I’m taking her to Valka.” With one swift motion, she had unbound your hands and picked you up. You hung in her arms, too weak to move. As she carried you out of the pen, she shot Dag a warning look and hissed: “We’ll talk about this later.”

The tall warrior almost ran out of the longhouse, whispering to you to stay with her and that she would take you to the best healer she knew.

“Don’t you worry, little bird. You just have to fight and recover. I will take care of you from now on.”

You arrived at a smaller hut and entered the dimly lit room that smelled of burned incense and freshly cut wood. A small, black-haired woman with a beautiful headdress and impressive facial tattoos leaped to her feet when she saw you come in. 

“Oh Eivor, what have you brought me now? Lay her down here.” She motioned to her bed, a simple wooden plank with a sack of straw and a number of furs. Eivor laid you down gently, kneeling next to you and squeezing your hand. 

“She was struck by her master two days ago. It must have gotten this bad last night.”

Valka crouched down and inspected your tender flesh. You fainted several times as she prodded at the wound but Eivor always called you back to her. The healer was now assembling herbs, burning something, and heating up water in a kettle over her fireplace. She ground up some sort of root and a few herbs and threw the mixture into the boiling water. Then she took a clean cloth and ordered Eivor to place the hot kettle on a wooden plate next to the bed. 

She dipped the cloth into the hot, sour-smelling brew that stung in your eyes and nose, then she pressed it on your cheek. It felt like she had stabbed a dagger into your skull, the pain ringing in your ears and making you see nothing but burning white. You were too exhausted to scream, fading in and out of consciousness. Instead, your body started violently shaking and Valka yelled at Eivor to pin you down before dunking the cloth into the scalding hot liquid and repeating the procedure again and again. Thankfully, you lost consciousness completely after the third time. The last thing you felt was Eivor’s big, warm hands on your upper arms and her knee on your hip, holding you down as you convulsed in pain.

-

When you woke up for the second time today, you were still lying on Valka’s bed. You wore a long linen tunic and the women seemed to have washed you, freeing you from the sweat and dirt that had accumulated in the last days. The room smelled better than before, the kettle was over the fire again and the small woman stirred dried flowers and other herbs into the water. Eivor was sitting next to you and wringing out another piece of cloth over a bucket. You braced yourself for more pain, but the water was cool and the blonde gently wiped your forehead and healthy cheek, your neck, and upper chest, humming softly to herself. She dampened the towel anew and folded it to lay it on your forehead. It was only now she realized you were awake. 

“Little bird.” She laid a hand on your cheek. “The worst is over.”

Valka came over with a mug and put it down next to you. She gave you an exhausted but encouraging smile.

“I apologize for hurting you this much. The infection was spreading across your face, I needed to draw it out. You will need at least a week to heal.”

You raised a hand to your face, but Eivor stopped you from touching yourself.

“We will put on a bandage later. Now there is just a salve,” Valka explained, “and you will have to drink this daily to help your body fight from the inside and give you strength.” 

She handed you the clay jug and you carefully raised it to your lips, taking a small sip of the concoction. It tasted sweet and earthy, immediately spreading warmth throughout your body and giving you the strength to fully open your eyes again. The wolf-kissed smiled at you. 

“I will leave you in Valka’s care for now. Soon I will take you to my hut and look after you there,” she promised. “I need to go and attend to important business, but I will bring you both supper later.” She took your hand again and softly rubbed her thumb over your knuckles, then she raised it to her lips and placed a feather-light kiss on the back of your hand.

Before leaving, she put her hands on Valka’s shoulders and sincerely thanked her for helping you. Then she gave you a last smile and left. 

The healer forced you to drink three jugs of her wonderful tea, then she helped you outside to relieve yourself and brought you back to bed, rubbing the salve into your cheek again and ordering you to sleep for now. The ointment numbed your skin and made the pain bearable. Taking a final look at the sun setting behind the mountains, you drifted away to sleep again. 

-

When Eivor brought bread and stew later, you felt much better already. The two Viking women sat on the floor next to you as you ate together. The stew was made with thick chunks of fatty meat and big slices of root vegetables, filling your stomach for the first time in days. Eivor told Valka about the raid; apparently the healer had not attended the celebrations yesterday. When the warrior told Valka about Dag's terrible state last night and this morning, the dark-haired woman just shook her head about this much exorbitance and stupidity. 

Even though you were still exhausted and not fully present at times, it was nice to sit with the two women and listen to them exchange stories and opinions, talk about plans for the future and a woman Valka was thinking about pursuing. The name Randvi caught your attention at one point, but with a meaningful look from Eivor, the topic was changed. 

As it got dark and you couldn't stop yourself from yawning, they debated what to do with you this night. Valka offered to sleep on the floor so you could stay here, but Eivor argued that she had a bed large enough and far more comfortable for the both of you. The healer admitted that you seemed to be stable for now and made Eivor promise to call for her immediately if anything happened with you. 

She handed Eivor a bag with the ointment, a few clean bandages, and the herb blend for the tea you should drink for the next few days. The blonde slung the pouch over her shoulder, then she approached you with a suddenly shy smile. 

“We haven’t asked you for your opinion on this at all. Do you even want to sleep in my hut?” she asked timidly, seeming almost nervous as she waited for your answer.

You shook your head and smiled. “Eivor, I’m just glad to be out of that terrible cell. I will sleep on the floor if I need to.”

“Little bird, tonight you will fly into the land of dreams on the softest wings. This bed is fit for a queen.” 

You held up your arm and wrapped it around the back of her neck as she picked you up again. Valka accompanied you outside, then she said her goodbyes and left for the longhouse. Eivor carried you in the other direction and used her knee to open the door to her big wooden cottage. Red rugs covered the wooden floorboards and a big torch next to the entrance lit the room, drenching it in flickering golden light. Her bed really was gigantic, with intricate carvings on the headbord and furs draped over the mattress.

The warrior gently lowered you onto her bed and laid down an enormous quilt over your body. She lit a candle on her side of the bed and put out the torch. Then she sat down on a big trunk and took off her boots, placing them neatly at the foot of the wooden bedframe. Slowly, trying not to disturb you, she laid down next to you and covered herself with a thin blanket. You raised your head.

“Won’t you get cold?”

Eivor looked at you in surprise, probably having assumed you were already sleeping. She gave you her wonderfully crooked smile. 

“I’m very hot blooded. I don’t mind the cold.” 

“I admire that,” you sighed. “I’m always freezing.”

She turned toward you and rested her head on her arm, stretching out her other hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face. Her fingers stayed on your forehead for a moment. 

“Your fever has dropped. Good,” she mumbled, “you’ll be better tomorrow. Sleep now, little bird.” 

-

Later at night you woke up from the sound of your own chattering teeth. The cold had entered the hut and taken a hold of you with its icy fingers; your whole body was cramping up and shaking. 

You looked over at the warrior lying next to you. Eivor was sleeping soundly, her bare arms thrown over her head and one leg sticking out from under the blanket. She seemed to be immune to the bitter cold.

There was no way you could fall asleep like this, freezing and shivering, your jaw hurting from trying to stop the chattering. You had to take the plunge. Slowly, you turned over to Eivor, scooting closer to her and lifting the quilt to come in contact with her warm body. She was radiating heat. 

You snuggled up to her, laying your head on her shoulder and resting your arm on her chest. She flinched at your weight on her, opening her eyes to make sure there was no danger. You two shared a silent look, then she smiled and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in closer and warming you up so quickly that you were asleep again within minutes.

-

The next morning you were woken by the bustle outside, animal noises mixing with the blacksmith’s hammer and people talking as they walked past. A rooster crowed and reminded you of your old home in Williamsburg. You were still lying close to Eivor, your head in the crook of her arm and your leg intertwined with hers. She hummed in her sleep as she felt you stirring and pulled you in, not allowing you to move.

You noticed that your head wasn’t throbbing anymore. Your cheek still felt tender and the wound stung, but you were sure the salve and the herbal infusion Valka had given you would get you through the day. 

Eivor moved again, turning her torso toward you and holding you even closer to her chest. 

“How did you sleep, little bird?” she mumbled into your hair. “Did I share enough of my warmth with you?”

You pressed your forehead into the hollow spot beneath her collarbone and inhaled her wonderful scent, a mixture of herbs, tree bark, snow days and a faint musk reminding you of the deer on William’s pasture.

“Without you, I would have frozen to death last night,” you murmured back. She enveloped you with her strong, hot body while her fingers stroked your hair absentmindedly. 

Suddenly, the blonde drew her head back to look down at you. 

“How is your face? Better?”

You nodded. 

“It still burns, but I think the worst is over.”

Eivor let go of you and stretched her arm toward the bag on the wooden trunk, almost falling off the bed when she finally caught it. You grabbed her hand just in time to pull her back up, both of you having to laugh at her clumsiness. She opened the small jar with the rich yellow cream and dipped two fingers into the mixture. Careful not to press down too hard, she rubbed the salve into your cheek, all the way from your jaw to your temple. As she massaged the little dent there, you closed your eyes and leaned into her touch. 

After a while, Eivor got up and put on leather pants and a coat over her tunic. She lit the fireplace so you would be warm all day and slipped on her boots, promising to return soon with breakfast and a kettle to make your tea. 

You let yourself fall back onto the pillow and pulled the quilt all the way up to your nose. This day promised to be a lot more comfortable than the last ones. There was not going to be much to do except lay around and wait for Eivor to check in on you every once in a while. Maybe she would give you something to do - you could mend clothes for her or sweep the hut or prepare food for later. 

It seemed terribly unfair to you all of a sudden, you sitting here warm and fed while Eda and the others were still biding their time in their cell. It was not like you had done anything to gain anyone’s favor, Eivor just seemed to take to you a lot and your injury had drastically changed your path here. You wondered what the others were doing now and what they would be doing in the next few weeks. Eivor hadn’t taken them here without reason, there had to be a purpose to all of this. 

A noise at the window made you look up. It was Birna, the white cat from yesterday, shooting you a demanding look through the gaps in the wooden grid that let in some light without leaving a big hole in the wall. Right, no glass windows. No wonder you had been freezing last night. Careful not to lose your balance, you got up from the bed and took the grid from the small opening. You were delighted to see that it had started snowing outside. Birna gave you a satisfied meow and squeezed through the window, immediately heading for the bed and curling up right where you had sat. The spot was probably still warm.

After placing the grid back in the window frame, you joined Birna on the mattress. She stretched and rubbed her tiny head against the back of your hand, demanding to be petted, and you humbly obliged. The two of you sat together for a while, the little lady purring in response as you made her compliments and told her about the cats back at Williamsburg.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. This was strange - why would Eivor knock? To make sure you weren’t indecent? She had already seen you naked yesterday, although it would fit her to still be all honorable and courteous.

Another knock.

“Eivor, are you there? It’s Randvi.”

Your breath caught in your throat and Birna looked up at you, indignant at your sudden refusal to pet her. You did not dare to move or say anything. 

“Listen, I know we quarreled yesterday, but does this mean you won’t speak to me now? I just want to talk.” She sounded desperate, knocking harder this time. Fuck.

For a moment, there was silence and you started to hope she had left. 

Then the handle turned and the door opened. 

Randvi stood in the door, tall and beautiful as ever, her hand still on the doorknob. In a matter of seconds, her face went through surprise, confusion, realization, anguish and then nothing but wrath. You sat stone still, staring at her.

When she spoke, her voice was quiet and ice cold.

“So that’s how it is. I understand now.” She laughed but there was no humor in her voice, only bitterness.

Before you could say anything, she had turned on the spot and slammed the door shut. You could hear her steps fade away on the path to the longhouse and finally dared to release the breath you had been holding this entire time.

Birna had jumped at the loud noise, but now she rolled herself up in your lap and began to purr again. You let your head fall back against the headboard and stared up at the ceiling, trying to gather your thoughts. 

Jesus Christ.

You jerked up when you heard steps at the door again, but this time it was Eivor that entered. There were snowflakes in her hair, her face was flushed from the cold and she had brought a well-filled jute bag and a dark metal cauldron. A bright smile was on her face as she stomped her feet to get rid of the snow on her boots and threw the bag on the bed. 

“First snow!” she pointed out the obvious and took off her coat before letting herself fall onto the bed next to you and giving Birna a big smooch, which the cat took with an annoyed grumble.

“How did she get in here?” Eivor laughed and ruffled the cat’s fur. “She doesn’t like the snow. The little Viking princess is a sensitive one. She stays in here all winter and complains until the thaw comes.”

You cleared your throat. “I let her in through the window. But…” Eivor seemed to finally sense something was wrong and gave you a questioning look.

“Randvi was here.”

The blonde closed her eyes and sighed, then she blinked up at the ceiling just as you had done minutes earlier. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. It’s complicated.” She shook her head.

You bit your lip and gave her an apologetic look. “She seemed displeased.”

This was a vast understatement, but you did not want to get involved in this, whatever it was. 

“I’ll talk to her later. This has nothing to do with you,” Eivor promised. Exactly.

You shared a breakfast consisting of bread, goat cheese and dried fruit while the water over the fireplace had started boiling and the herbs inside filled the entire room with their pleasant smell. 

When you had finished your meal and started sipping your brew, Eivor propped herself up on her elbow next to you. 

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Eivor?”

With her fingertips she drew patterns into Birna’s fur, her brow furrowed in contemplation.

“Do you think you could take another look at the map? I am planning on raiding Fort Winton tomorrow or the day after. The time is right, we are experienced in fighting in the snow and cold. I want to get this done.”

You swallowed hard, thinking of the life you had led before. If you supported this raid, you were betraying all your previous affiliations and fealties. Winton’s Steward was a terrible man. He had scared you when you were younger and he scared you now. You were sure that there was not a single person under his rule that enjoyed his company or thought him a good sovereign. You took a deep breath.

“I will. But under one condition: I do not wish to be seen as subject to English rule and fealty. I owe them nothing. I will give you all my knowledge and skill and I will swear my loyalty to you, only you. I will no longer be an English prisoner but your servant and by extension, a part of this clan.”

Eivor listened to you intently and considered your proposition for a moment, then she nodded. 

“I would not have let you come into my house and sleep next to me if I did not trust you already. I do not know how, but it sometimes feels like destiny brought us together.” Her hand moved toward yours, then she pulled it back and continued to pet Birna.

“I will speak to the council about this tonight. Tomorrow you shall help us strategize, so we can leave at first light the next day.”

You agreed, stretching out a hand to stroke Birna’s fur and just so happening to brush over Eivor’s knuckles with your fingertips. Both of you had to smile, feeling as if you shared a secret, one that had not fully revealed itself to you yet.

The warrior actually had a few tasks for you that you could take care of in bed: a few of her tunics that had tears and holes, a pair of pants which had ripped at the back - she went crimson red and mumbled something about a drinking contest and a wrestling match - and an old fur coat she had grown out of but gave to you to mend and wear. 

You spent the day with Birna, sewing and patching up Eivor’s clothes while telling the cat stories about Delia and Henry and your favorite adventures from your childhood. Eivor came by later, dropping off some more fruit to pass the time until supper. She seemed slightly irritated, but when she saw your work on her clothes she rejoiced. 

“You’re an artist, little bird! With you by my side, I will soon look like a queen!”

You laughed and clutched the fur coat to your chest. 

“I will take this as my first payment, then. Thank you. Maybe I will finally be warm for once.”

“Y/N, are you telling me you were cold last night? You must be made of ice if my heat could not pierce you,” Eivor teased you playfully. 

“Oh, it most certainly did. It seems you are the only one capable of doing so.” You smiled at her. She grabbed your hand and rubbed her thumbs over your palm. 

“I need to go now and meet the council. I will come back to warm you later.” She stroked Birna’s fur one last time, then she got up and in leaving threw you a last look that sent blood into your cheeks and made your stomach flutter.

“I long for it,” you whispered after she had closed the door behind her.


	4. The Sting of Rejection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tries to talk it out with Eda, which doesn't go to well. The feast before the raid brings several surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you all so much for the kind comments on the last chapters! I didn't expect any of them and they truly makes my heart explode every time! I've been writing and uploading these chapters at a rapid speed and now real life has caught up with me so I might not be able to pop out a new one every 2-3 days. I'll still do my best!
> 
> Like I promised initially, the angst and lesbian yearning is real here and it's painful but it's going to be worth it in the end.
> 
> Content Warning for mentions of physical abuse, language, lesbophobia, food & alcohol consumption, light smut and emetophobia.

You had already slept for a few hours when Eivor returned from her council meeting late at night. Even though she tried to be quiet and not to wake you, you were awake as soon as you heard her steps on the path outside. 

Birna had curled up in your arms and raised her head when the warrior entered, not moving from her warm and comfortable spot. You remained still, your eyes closed as you listened to the woman’s movements. Her fur coat fell to the ground almost inaudibly, the wood of her trunk creaked quietly as she sat down to take off her boots, her leather pants rustled when she pulled them off and threw them in a corner. 

Then you finally felt her motions, too as she lifted a corner of the quilt covering you and slipped in the bed, immediately scooting close to you. She gave Birna a few gentle strokes until the cat started to purr softly and Eivor lowered her head next to yours with a satisfied sigh. She smelled like beer and smoked meat, accompanied by that faint, wonderful scent of tree bark. 

You must have stirred because Eivor lifted her head again, whispering: “Little bird… there are good news for you.” 

Careful not to disturb Birna, you turned slightly and looked at her with raised eyebrows. She smiled. 

“You are now one of us. Mine.” She watched your face attentively for a reaction. You closed your eyes and swallowed. So it was decided. 

“Are you happy?” Eivor asked, drawing her fingertips over your healthy cheek. 

“Yes, I am,” you answered, turning back around and scooting back against her.

“Mmhh. We’ll talk in the morn.” She wrapped her arms around you and pulled you close, then you both drifted off to sleep. 

-

You were woken by Birna's demanding meows at the door. She had not left the hut since yesterday and was probably hungry and in need of a quiet corner. Eivor grunted, then she untangled herself from your limbs and cursed in her mother tongue when she stumbled over her clothes on her way to let the cat out. 

“You won’t like it outside, little lady. The snow has stayed,” she grumbled as she opened the door. Indeed, Birna was not amused at the prospect of stepping into the cold, wet powder that painted the village in beautiful white and whirled into the room as soon as the door stood ajar. You pulled the blanket over your head to escape the stinging cold air, listening to Eivor and Birna bicker about the cat’s options for the day.

It really sounded like they were having a conversation, one that ended with Birna leaving with a last, angry cry and Eivor shutting the door with a thankful sigh. She let herself fall back on the bed and crawled under the covers. You stuck your head out. 

“So, I’m one of you now?”

Eivor needed a moment to process your question, then she sat up and nodded. 

“The council was thankful for your offer to help us prepare the raid and accepted your proposal. You’re going to come with me later so you can have another look at the map and tell us everything you know. In return, you will receive a wooden bangle declaring you part of this clan and my personal servant as soon as we return.”

You sat up as well and leaned against the headboard, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket as you tried to find the right words. 

“I am very grateful for your trust. I know it normally does not come easy,” you said. “May I ask something else of you?”

The blonde raised her eyebrows with a questioning look.

“My- the people who came with me. How are they?”

“Oh, they are all well.” Eivor got up and started putting on her clothes. “Three of them have decided to stay with us freely and work in the stables and the longhouse. Two have yet to decide and your lady friend is refusing to speak to us. I hear she is eating, at least.” 

A wave of relief washed over you. You were not the only one to change sides. You were fairly sure you knew who had taken up work in the village; the two remaining prisoners were probably the squires to Lord William. They had endured harsh treatment at his hands, but he had promised them a future as knights and held them in higher regard than his own daughters. It made sense that Eda was not willing to speak or change her mind. She blamed Eivor for the death of her entire family. 

“Eivor?”

“Yes, little bird?”

“Do you think I could have a word with Eda? Maybe I can reason with her,” you suggested, holding your breath as you waited for her reaction. She considered it for a moment, then she shrugged and put on her coat. 

“I guess it would do no harm. You can speak with her before we meet the others in the map room, maybe she will tell you something helpful.” She turned around. “Do you want to join me in the longhouse for breakfast?”

The question surprised you, but she was right. You were healing fast, and there was no reason for you to stay in bed any longer. You agreed and swung your legs out of bed, slipped into your wooden clogs and put on your new coat over the linen tunic. Hopefully, you would be able to acquire some more fitting and functional clothes soon, but now was not the time to worry about looks. Your face was still swollen and blue anyway, your bruises now starting to fade to green at the edges.

You quickly rubbed the salve Valka had given you on your tender cheek, then Eivor held the door open for you and you stepped outside into the snow. The air was hard and cold, but clear and when it filled your lungs, you could feel it chase out the last remains of smoke and illness. Walking down to the longhouse, two dogs ran toward you and circled you with excited barks and wagging tails, apparently delighted to see Eivor. She laughed and chased them around for a bit, then she told them she had other things to do and they let her be and ran off towards the stables.

When you entered the longhouse, Eivor was immediately greeted by cheers and excited comments regarding the coming raid. She smiled and acknowledged everyone’s words before leading you to a side part of the house. There was a fireplace in the center of the area, a hole in the roof directing the smoke outside. A kettle and a metal grid were hung over the fire and an old woman was stirring porridge with a gigantic wooden spoon. You both stepped closer.

“Sfáva, dette er Y/N,” Eivor introduced you, gently placing a hand between your shoulder blades. “She is from Williamsburg and has decided to join us. She is a cook, too."

The old woman slowly came closer, squinting her eyes at you until her face was almost directly beneath yours. Then she suddenly gave you a warm, almost toothless smile, deepening the crows’ feet around her eyes and stretching the leathery, weatherbeaten skin on her cheeks. 

“Velkommen, Y/N,” she croaked and took your hand, patting it lightly. She chattered something in Eivor’s direction and the warrior translated: “She’s glad to have you here and hopes you can show her some English cooking. She does not speak your language, but she understands a few words and can grasp your meaning if you speak slowly. Our tongues are not too different.”

You smiled back at Sfáva, gently squeezing her hand. 

“I’m honored to work by your side, Sfavá.” 

The old cook let out a delighted laugh at your proper pronunciation of her name and gestured for you to take a wooden bowl. You and Eivor both took bowls and spoons from a table and Sfavá filled them with porridge. Eivor loaded up her meal with several sausages from the grill, to which you passed. 

“I’m afraid we can’t eat together. My place is up there” - she mentioned to the table at the back of the room, standing orthogonal to the rest of the tables - “with my brother. I see your old companions have found themselves over there, maybe you would like to join them?” She motioned over to where the three men that had been released as well sat and ate their breakfast. 

You nodded and wished the warrior a good morning, then you walked over and sat down with the others. Aelfric and Hal had been the stable masters back at Williamsburg and were excited about the variety of horses and possibilities here. Eivor had apparently put a lot of money and work into the stables, making them a much more enjoyable place than the dark, moldy ramshackle hut William’s old mares had spent their days in. Lewin was also content with his situation; he had joined the butcher and his son in preparing meat for winter.

They were all happy to see you, thanking you for your quick thinking and cautious behavior during and after the attack. Lewin was even convinced they owed you their lives. While they went on discussing the possibilities of hunting at this time of the year, you stared into your porridge and tried to find the words and the courage for a conversation with Eda. 

What could you say that would explain to her your disloyalty to her name, your treachery to England, your betrayal against her after everything you had gone through together? How could you ever change her mind or her situation, what were your possibilities in this? Would she stay locked into a cell for the rest of her life? What would the Vikings do with her if she was nothing but a nuisance?

The others took their leave and you were still none the wiser. Absorbed in your thoughts, you let your gaze wander through the long hall. Your eyes finally got caught on the she-wolf at the elevated warriors’ table. She was deep in conversation with Sigmund and tapping her finger on the table as she made her point to him. He seemed to agree with everything she was saying, consistently nodding his head as he devoured his sausages. 

Suddenly, Eivor caught your gaze and while she kept talking, her finger stayed pressed to the wooden tabletop. You could have sworn there was a hint of a smile on her face as she turned back to her brother to ask him something. Shaking your head, you got up and brought your empty bowl back to Sfáva’s side table. 

Even though her eyesight seemed to be terrible, she immediately recognized you and repeated your name with a joyful fondness in her voice that made your heart swell in your chest. What a wonderful woman. 

As you wandered around the hall to collect the dirty bowls people had left on the tables, you felt someone’s eyes on you. Smiling to yourself, you relished at the feeling a little bit longer before turning around to return Eivor’s look. To your surprise, she had stood up and turned her back to you, speaking with someone behind the table.

Slightly bewildered, you finished your round and carried the stash of bowls and spoons back to the cooking area. Just as you turned to ask Sfáva where you should wash the dishes, you saw something blue in the corner of your eye. You looked up and had to force yourself to keep your composure as you saw Randvi leaning against a wooden pillar across the hall and watching you from afar, her arms crossed and her face smooth and expressionless.

She did not move or look away when you saw her, standing perfectly still and continuing to look at you as you finally lowered your gaze and asked Sfáva about your tasks for the day. The old Viking explained her wishes to you with a mix of slow Norwegian and sign language, making it clear you should wash the bowls outside in a big trough and bring her another few sacks of flour. You felt uneasy as you left the longhouse to do your washing up, still followed by Randvi’s piercing gaze. 

Eivor caught you outside, glad you had already settled in with your new work and thrilled for the raid. She was practically buzzing with excitement and her restlessness made you laugh, taking your mind off the strange moment with Randvi. 

“What are you laughing at, eh? You are looking at a proud drengr, not a jester!” she exclaimed, furrowing her brows in feigned outrage and making you laugh even harder. 

“You remind me of Eda and Delia on the eve before Christmas. They were so excited for the next morning, they could barely sleep.” Your gaze lost itself in the dirty water in the trough before you. You had some good memories with the two girls. They had been so innocent and happy. A hand on the small of your back drew you back to the present. Eivor had stepped closer.

“I will sleep like a bear in winter so long as you lie by my side,” she said quietly. 

Her words and touch sent chills up your spine. Before you could reply, Eivor stepped back.

“But first, we will plan our glorious raid. And then we will celebrate. Oh Y/N, you will love it. Mead and food and great songs - we will be in good spirits tonight. And tomorrow will be even better!” Her eyes lit up at the thought of the joy and glory to come. “I need to look at a few things in the stables. Take this time to speak with your friend. I will come and get you when it is time to meet over the map.”

You watched her as she walked away, a spring in her step as she headed for the wooden building at the far end of the village. The dishes were clean, so you took them back inside and left them on the table for Sfáva. She was deep in conversation with two other Norse women when you filled another bowl with porridge and two sausages and quietly made your way to the cell in the back of the longhouse. 

Eda sat on the floor where you had left her last. Her dress was dusty and stained, her hair was matted and her face looked grey and old. Dag, who was keeping watch again, let you in with a grumble and sat back down on his chair. Eda refused to look at you as you knelt down before her and offered her the food. 

“Eda, please. You must eat. You look like death itself.”

“I don’t fear death,” she mumbled, still staring at her hands, “I fear traitors and backstabbing snakes.”

Her words knocked the air out of your lungs. You had not expected her to be this hostile. What now?

“I do not claim to know the pain you feel and the losses you are bearing. I am simply trying to live with dignity instead of wasting away,” you explained, tears welling up in your eyes. “Do you not see my face? Were you not there when I learned I was worth nothing at Williamsburg, nothing but dirt on your father’s shoe? Eivor has offered me a place in this world. She-”

“You and your precious Eivor!” Eda snapped, her gaze now burning right through your head and her face screwed up into a hateful grimace. “You fell to your knees the second you saw her, begging for her to take you. I will not be lulled into submission by a filthy little sapphic whore!”

This blow hurt worse than William’s fist. There was nothing left to say. You put the bowl down next to her, then you stood up and left the cell. Dag gave you a strange look when he locked the door again. 

Just as you rounded the corner, you bumped into Eivor. She knew something was wrong right away, pulling you into her warm embrace and letting you cry into her chest for a long moment until she pulled back and lowered her head to look at you. 

“What is it, my little bird? Will your friend neither soften nor think clearly?” 

You just nodded and pressed your lips together, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. Eivor turned to look over her shoulder for a moment, then she pulled you into an alcove. 

“You stay here and collect yourself. I will tell them you got held up and will be there soon.” She pulled you in for a last, quick hug, then she vanished from sight. 

You took a few deep breaths and slapped your chest and torso, trying to fully return to the present, to your body, and to your rational thoughts. If Eda wanted nothing more to do with you, so be it. You had other things to worry about now.

When you entered the map room there were five men waiting for you alongside Eivor and Randvi. One of them was Sigurd, Eivor’s brother and the official chief of her clan, even though you felt like a lot of people cared for Eivor more strongly. You had just found out today that he was also Randvi’s husband. The other four you had seen before but you did not know their names. 

Eivor looked up from the map first, smiling widely and rounding the table to introduce you. 

“Everyone, this is Y/N. She was the cook at Williamsburg and has visited Fort Winton several times. She will tell us all she knows about the area and the castle.”

“What happened to your face, Y/N?” One of the warriors gave word to what everyone was thinking. You straightened up, trying to brace yourself against Randvi’s icy expression. 

“Thank you for this opportunity to make myself useful here. My cheek made acquaintance with Lord William’s fist the day of your attack, but I am healing now and he is not, that is all that matters. And I have you to thank for it.”

Your answer seemed to satisfy everyone and you got to work. You spent the next hours telling them about every path and entrance to the castle you knew of, every person working there when you last visited, and everything about the Stewart that had taken over the shire. You even drew a plan of the order of the buildings and the rooms you knew of. 

The Viking warriors warmed up to you quickly when they realized how much valuable knowledge you were giving them and even Randvi seemed to forget her hostility toward you after a while. The group even allowed you to stay for their debates on the right strategy, taking all your comments into consideration and thanking you for your help. Eivor reminded you at some point that you were still injured and told you to go back to the hut, put on the salve, and lay down. She would pick you up later for the feast.

Birna was already waiting for you at the door, mortally offended at having spent the day outside in the snow. She weaseled through the first crack in the door and was even more distraught when the fireplace was dead and the bed cold. You apologized sincerely and lit a fire to make Valka’s wonderful brew while you gently applied her salve to your healing cheek. 

While your tea was steeping, you curled up with Birna and poured your heart out to her about Eda. She was a wonderful listener, snuggling up to you when you started crying and supporting your distraught words with agreeing meows. It was heartbreaking - the one friend you still had left did not want to be your friend anymore. You were all alone here. You had to admit that the Norse people were extremely welcoming to you and that Eivor would probably be very offended to hear you call yourself alone after two nights in her arms, but still. You were lonely. After you had drunk a cup of your herb infusion, you laid down, pulled Birna into your arms and cried yourself to sleep while the white cat silently watched over you. 

-

A light grasp on your shoulder woke you and you opened your eyes to find Eivor crouching down before you, smiling softly at you. It was already dark outside and you had trouble finding your grasp on reality for a moment. Was it the next day? No. The feast.

Your mouth was dry and your eyelids felt heavy from crying. Eivor softly brushed the hair out of your face with her fingers. 

“Good evening, little bird. Can I interest you in some excellent boar meat and warm mead?” 

Birna answered in your stead, crying out as she stretched her little body on top of you. Eivor’s expression became even softer.

“For you, little lady, I have something special.” She took a small balled up bundle from her pocket and opened the stained cloth to reveal some fresh innards, probably taken from the boar. She placed the cloth on the ground in front of the fireplace and Birna jumped down from the bed to have her own royal feast. 

You got up and followed the cat's example in stretching your limbs, feeling Eivor’s eyes on you as you put on your shoes and cloak and tried to comb your hair with your fingers. The blonde was next to you at once, holding your hands still.

“Wait. Let me.” 

She opened her wooden chest and produced a beautiful wide-tooth comb. It was made from some kind of bone or fang. The warrior stood behind you and gently pulled all your hair back towards her. Then she began combing it out, starting at the bottom of each strand and carefully moving upwards, taking out any knots or dirt. Her fingers touched your scalp every time she took a new strand of hair, sending lightning down your spine and making the hair on your neck stand up. 

“That’s better. I can braid it for you, too, if you’d like that,” Eivor said behind you. You brushed a hand over your long hair and felt its smoothness. You had never been allowed to wear your hair down at Williamsburg, always having to put it up in a knot and wear a bonnet or at least a cap. Today you had seen so many Viking women proudly wearing their hair down, some with intricate little braids and beads in theirs.

“I’d like that, yes,” you whispered, scared your voice would betray you. Every day, every hour here felt like a step closer to freedom and happiness.

“Sit down on the bed.” The blonde gently guided you to sit at the foot of the mattress so she could stand next to you. Then she began taking hair from your healthy side and braiding it along the hairline around your ear and down the back of your neck. She stepped around you to look at her work from the front. 

“I think that is all you need. You’re beautiful.” 

Your heart jumped into your throat, almost making its way onto your tongue. Your fingers followed the path of the small braid, admiring the perfect work of the warrior’s calloused hands. How peculiar, that these rough hands that wielded swords and axes bigger than your head could also be so gentle and precise. 

A knock on the door tore you out of your reverie. It was Valka who wanted to take a look at your face and pick you both up for the feast. She was satisfied with your healing process and delighted to see Birna, having a little chat with the cat on the bed. You had to keep yourself from laughing when the thought of Birna being the true queen of this clan entered your head. She probably felt that the same way. The white cat was adored by everyone, and her demands were followed without question.

As the three of you made your way down to the longhouse, you could already hear loud singing and laughter. People were stumbling outside to relieve themselves in the bushes and others were just arriving, all being greeted with loud cheers and big jugs of mead. The same happened to you when you entered the great hall. A few warriors rushed to your side, greeting Eivor and paying you compliments and thanks for your help that day. Enthusiasm saturated the air like a humid day, filling everyone with joy and confidence for tomorrow. 

Valka was quick to take the jug of ale from your hands and gave it to someone else who swore his love to her in return. She just smiled and pulled you towards the kitchen area. You had already lost Eivor in the mass of warriors jeering and singing praise to Odin. At the hearth fire, you met Sfáva sitting on a bench and enjoying a massive pitcher of mead. She cried out in joy when she saw you and hugged Valka tightly in greeting before squeezing your hands and grinning her almost toothless smile at you. 

Valka asked you to stay with the older woman for a while and help her with the food; then you saw her talk to a red-haired woman and vanish in a dark corner with her. Maybe that was the woman she had spoken about with Eivor before? You wished her the best of luck.

There was not too much to do. The boar was on a spit over the great fire in the main hall and the men were responsible for cutting down the meat for everyone. You were grilling sausages and vegetables on the side and helping the boys open new barrels of ale that were consistently emptied within the hour. 

Eivor came by soon, asking for more variety on her plate. It was obvious that she had already had enough mead to _kill_ a boar, slightly swaying when she walked and getting extremely close when she tried to talk to you over the noise in the hall. Her face was red and radiating heat, her eyes had a drunk glisten to them and her laugh was rougher and dirtier than during the day. You were glad she was enjoying herself, although you could not help but wonder if this was the best idea considering her plans for tomorrow. 

You spent some time outside cleaning plates at the trough and getting fresh air when you suddenly heard a noise around the corner. You debated for a moment whether you should risk a look but your curiosity got the best of you. As you stuck your head around the edge of the house, you weren’t immediately sure what you saw before you. 

Two figures were leaning against the wall in close embrace, chuckling and mumbling sweet nothings to each other. As a cloud finally freed the moon and its light shone down on your village, you made out Valka’s golden headdress and the silhouette of the red-haired woman she had talked to earlier. Apparently, she had gotten lucky. You quietly moved back to your plates and smiled to yourself. Valka was a wonderful person, giving and loving and always putting others’ needs above hers. Eivor had spoken very highly of her trusted friend. She deserved to be happy.

When you came back inside and put the plates back on the sideboard in the cooking area, you noticed Eivor sitting at the front table surrounded by her men. And oh - there was Randvi sitting next to her. The two of them were leaning toward each other, their heads almost touching as they laughed about something Sigurd had said. It seemed that they had talked about their difficulties and made up.

You let yourself fall on the bench next to Sfáva and she patted your thigh, holding out her pitcher to signal it was empty. With a sigh, you got up to get her more mead and made yourself a plate of vegetables from the grid, seeing as you had not eaten since breakfast. Sfáva noticed you had not taken any meat and insisted you go get some boar meat. Upon the realization that she would not let you sit down again until you had tried the boar, you slowly went over to the big fire, hoping no one would notice you. The warrior there cut you a generous piece and you were almost back in your dark corner when someone called your name. God, no.

Aelfric, Hal, and Lewin were sitting at a table with some other stable boys and young maids. You gave Sváfa an apologetic wave which she answered with a loud, heartfelt laugh, then you made your way to your old companions. The boar was better than you had expected and you really were terribly hungry, wolfing down your food at an indecent speed and even going back for another portion. The others were talking about the two squires still sat in the cell; they were sure they would come around by the next morning. Who would really prefer the cold ground over these celebrations and the wonderful food that was shared fairly between everyone?

Looking over to the table at the back of the hall you could see Eivor and her friends conversing loudly, laughing and slapping each other's backs. At one point Dag danced on the table, but he soon lost his footing and went down in a wave of plates, jugs, rattling metal, and the yells of his fellow warriors. You stared at Eivor for a while, hoping she would return your gaze, but she was completely immersed in her conversation and never even looked up from her table. You finished your meal quietly, listening to the others talking about a new dice game they had learned and about a filly at the stable that was born in late autumn, a strange and dangerous time for newborns in the animal world. Together, they were sure they would get it through the winter safe.

Later you returned to Sfáva and leaned against the wall opposite her, warming yourself up by the fire and keeping an eye on Eivor, who was apparently in another drinking contest with one of her men. Randvi had her hands on Eivor’s shoulders and was cheering her on. A small figure stepped next to you, crossing her arms and following your gaze. Valka had returned. 

You made no attempt to hide your feelings, you knew she had already seen through you. The healer put an arm around your waist and shook you slightly, looking up at you with a sympathetic expression. 

“I know you saw us, Y/N.” The words took a moment for you to grasp their meaning, then you turned to Valka in surprise.

“Oh God, I swear I will keep your secret. I am a master at keeping my mouth shut.” 

The smaller woman had to smile at your nervous reaction.

“I trust you. I am glad it was you that caught us and not someone else.”

“May I ask…” you hesitated, “what is going on between you?”

Valka turned her head to look at the singing warriors in the hall. There was a pain in her eyes that felt just too familiar. 

“She is married. It was not her choice, but her father’s way of forging an alliance. Her husband is one of the hunters and away most of the time. When he beat her badly the first time, she came to me.”

The silence between you was heavy with meaning. When she began to speak again, her words grabbed your feet and pulled on them, getting heavier and heavier until you began to wonder why the earth had not opened underneath you and swallowed you whole.

“I know you wonder what happened between Eivor and Randvi. It is neither my place nor my ability to tell you everything, but I will say this, for fairness’s sake and because I think you already know in your heart. There was once love between them. Whether it still lives on, I cannot tell. But Eivor has told me that she is ready to leave this bond behind her because she feels something new, something far deeper and more intensive is coming. That is why she has pursued you. She felt something deeper the moment she met you.”

Valka turned to you and you fought to at least turn your feet so you could face her. Everything was spinning around you. The dark-haired woman gently placed her hands on either side of your neck and looked deep into your eyes. 

“Follow your heart, Y/N. The gods will lead you. They have decided your destiny long before you were born.”

After recommending you should get some sleep, Valka left you frozen in place and dizzy. The noise that filled the room was now nothing but a single loud booming voice threatening to split your head. You needed to get some air. Maybe your bed was really the best idea.

You looked around for Eivor, but she had vanished from sight. It did not matter, you would find your way into her arms later one way or another. You said your goodbyes to Sfáva and the other servants, then you finally exited the longhouse and inhaled the cool night air. 

Rounding the corner toward your hut, you were suddenly startled by a noise that sounded like an animal crying out. Maybe a cat? You tiptoed around the dark cottage to your right and suddenly stopped dead in your tracks. 

Your heart dropped to your feet and all the blood left your face.

Eivor had pressed her brother's wife to the wooden wall and was kissing her passionately while her hands explored Randvi’s body under her tunic. They were so immersed that they had not heard you coming. You could not move, your feet suddenly weighing you down like boulders again. 

The blonde’s knee was between the other woman’s legs and Randvi spread them for her lover, moaning into her mouth. As Eivor started attacking her neck with kisses, the auburn-haired woman opened her eyes and looked directly at you. The surprise in her gaze was almost unnoticeable, fading quickly to be replaced by malicious pleasure as she continued to stare at you while whining Eivor’s name and burying her fingers in the warrior’s hair.

Finally, your muscles started to work again. You turned on the spot and quietly made your way to Eivor’s hut. You felt sick. Closing the door behind you, you kicked your shoes under the bed and threw your coat into the corner. The cat on Eivor's pillow just gave you a questioning look.

“Oh Birna, if only you knew.” You threw yourself on the bed next to her, then you started bawling for the second time today. You cried until there was not a single tear left and you felt completely empty inside. Then you scooted close to the edge of the bed, turning your back to Eivor’s side, and tried to fall asleep. 

Even though you fell into a state of absence, sleep would not come. Dread filled you when you heard teps at the door. But before Eivor could enter, you heard her cough and retch, probably throwing up into the thorny bushes a few steps from the door. A slight feeling of righteousness overcame you but it quickly disappeared again, leaving only misery and desperation.

When the warrior finally entered, you could hear her stumble through the room and curse under her breath as she hit her foot on the bed frame. She seemed to only take off her coat and let it fall to the floor before lying down next to you and falling asleep in an instant. A part of you had still hoped for her arms around you, despite everything. Now you could hear her ragged breathing and smell the smoke and alcohol on her hair and breath. 

The tears came again and you silently cried into your pillow while the warrior slept soundly next to you, oblivious to your sorrow. Only Birna proved her loyalty to you by getting up from Eivor’s side of the bed and rolling up in the crook of your bent knees.

-

You must have fallen asleep at some point because you were woken the next morning by another salve of mumbled curses. It was still grey outside, dawn had only just begun. You stayed completely still and listened to Eivor dress herself and collect her weapons and shield from her trunk. 

To your surprise, the warrior suddenly walked around to your side, crouched down, and lightly stroked your hair. 

“Have a good day, my little bird. I will bring you honor and victory today,” she whispered, then she stood up and swiftly left the hut.


	5. Another Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader deals with heartbreak and visits Valka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we all doing after the last chapter? This one is a little shorter but I just wanted to post asap. The next one is already in the works.

After Eivor had left you stayed in bed for a while, listening to Birna’s tiny snores and thinking through the events of last night over and over again. Had you got it all wrong? Had Eivor never been interested in you at all? Impossible- the things she had said, those looks and the secret touches had all been so clear. 

You kept seeing Randvi’s face, ecstatic and triumphant - the moment she had opened her eyes and looked at you felt like a dagger to your heart every time it replayed in your head. Randvi was Sigurd’s wife, what the hell was she doing? How long had this been going on? Valka’s words echoed through your head. 

_ There was once love between them. Whether it still lives on, I cannot tell. _

Apparently, it did. Randvi had challenged you to a race you had never agreed to enter and she had won. She had known Eivor for such a long time, they had been through so much together and she knew exactly how to get Eivor in the right moment. You thought back to them yesterday, laughing and sticking their heads together, Eivor blackout drunk and Randvi not taking her eyes and hands off her target. Had Eivor done this willingly? Would she have done it if she had been sober? Would she have initiated anything with Randvi? 

You doubted it, but that didn’t change anything. How could you sleep next to Eivor, listen to her beautifully rough voice calling you little bird, and be at her side at all times for the days to come? You should have never given in that easily. Eivor had taken advantage of you, lulling you with sweet words and a warm bed until you gave her all the information she wanted, and then she had dropped you. The thought suddenly made you angry. 

Sitting up in bed, you looked around the hut, searching for something to either take your mind off things or to help you let out your anger. You walked around hectically, rummaging through Eivor’s things and finally opening the wooden trunk with her most valuable belongings. There were a few weapons, jewelry, a pair of good shoes, and some beautiful crystals and minerals. And a stack of letters.

You knew this was wrong, but you couldn’t stop yourself from taking out the small bundle. There were several letters and notes bound with a red string, and one just lying on top of the others. It was signed by Eivor while the others seemed to be from Randvi. Had Eivor been meaning to give this one to Randvi?

Quickly flipping through Randvi’s letters, you avoided reading them thoroughly. Skimming over them hurt enough already. They really had been in love. It had been deep, real passion. Sigurd seemed to pay no attention to Randvi anymore, leaving her feeling alone and unhappy. Eivor had changed that. The newer letters at the top however had a different tone. Randvi was questioning Eivor’s behavior and asking why she had turned so distant and reserved. You could tell Randvi was hurting terribly and your heart cramped up. What a terrible misfortune, all of this. Eivor, the breaker of hearts.

Randvi’s last letter was nothing but desperate pleading - for Eivor to return to her, to speak to her, to love her just once more. You put the bundle back into the trunk, then you sat back down on the bed to read Eivor’s letter. She must have written it after Randvi had knocked on the door and found you alone in Eivor’s hut. 

_ Randvi. _

_ This has to stop. You are only hurting both of us. I cannot betray Sigurd any longer, I have told you this countless times. The love I felt for you was real, but now all I see in you is the person that was once my closest friend, my most trusted companion. I would like for you to be those things again. I miss you terribly and I need you by my side, but not in that way.  _

_ I am infinitely sorry for hurting you like this. I should have stepped away after the first kiss, but I was selfish and weak. Now I see clearly. We were foolish to think this could work, we both sought comfort and affection because no one else gave it to us, and I will be forever grateful for the moments I spent in your arms, but this cannot go on any longer.  _

_ Please leave Y/N out of this. She has done you no wrong and I feel in my heart that she will be of great importance to the future of this clan, your clan. We need to look to the future. What happened between us is in the past and it will stay there. _

_ Eivor _

You hardly noticed the letter slipping from your fingers and sailing to the floor. The chaos inside you had not dwindled. What did all this mean? You could not wrap your mind around the events of last night. Eivor had ended it with Randvi and she had written this letter to make it clear that she meant it. But she had not given it to Randvi. Yet?

Shivering from the cold morning air, you got up and got dressed, started a fire and let Birna out, putting everything back in its place so Eivor would not suspect anything when she came back. You waited for the cat to return while you made a brew with the last of the herbs Valka had given you. The swelling around your eye had gone back considerably and your cheek was now turning green and yellow. The constant pain had faded to a sensitivity to quick movements of your head and contact with the area. 

A knock on the door brought back unpleasant memories and you were scared to find out who was visiting, but you forced yourself to yell “It’s open!” Randvi knew Eivor was gone, so at least the situation from two days ago would not repeat itself. 

It was Valka who entered the room, a serene Birna in her arms. 

“Good morning, Y/N. I saw light and thought I’d bring this little princess back inside. I know how much she hates the snow,” she said, gently putting down the cat on the balled up blankets at the foot of the bed. 

“Oh, I see you are taking care of yourself! How is the eye? May I?” She stepped closer.

“Good morning, Valka,” you replied. “Of course.” You sat down on the edge of the bed and the healer leaned over you, lightly running her fingers over your skin and closing her eyes, concentrating on the healing bruise under her fingertips. She mumbled something you couldn’t make out, then she opened her eyes and smiled at you. 

“Wonderful. You’re healing perfectly. But you will have a scar from the cut.”

“No matter. It will make me look like a warrior,” you joked and got up to pour your brew into a mug. Your heart still felt like a cold, hard pebble and your stomach was so upset you did not know if you could keep the tea down. Of course, Valka noticed right away and placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“Y/N, what is on your mind?” 

You both knew that she knew who you were thinking about. You sat down again and you pulled your knees up to your chest. 

“Eivor… I saw her last night.” A hint of realization was in Valka’s eyes, but she did not interrupt you. You took a deep breath. “With Randvi.”

The tears came as soon as you spoke the last word and you let your head fall forward, trying to hide your face. The little braid Eivor had woven into your hair last night still held it out of your eyes. With shaky fingers, you started loosening the tie and frantically opening the braid, ripping at your hair as hot tears ran down your cheeks. 

Valka gently took the braid out of your hands and loosened it with skilled fingers, then she brushed the strand of wavy hair behind your ear and raised your head with a finger under your chin. Her expression was understanding and compassionate. You remembered her love for the married woman. She knew the pain in your heart all too well. 

“Come with me,” she said, standing up and taking your hand. You quickly slipped on your shoes and followed her outside after placing a goodbye kiss on Birna’s soft forehead. The two of you fought your way through the snow up to Valka’s cottage and were welcomed by a crackling fireplace and the wonderful smell of all her dried flowers and herbs. The black-haired woman sat down on the floor in front of a small round table and motioned for you to sit on the opposite side.

She grabbed a leather pouch from a basket behind her and emptied its contents on the wooden tabletop. It was a collection of vertebrae, their origin you did not dare ask. Mixed among them were human teeth. Valka lit a few ground-up leaves in a stone bowl and as the smoke spread its aroma through the room, she finally focused on you.

“Tell me, little bird, what do you desire to know of the future? Speak freely and I shall ask the Gods for an answer.”

Her use of Eivor’s nickname for you sent shivers down your spine and you suddenly knew that this was it, your one chance to find out the truth. But how should you phrase the questions running through your mind? How could you possibly express what was going on inside of you?

“I seek to know… my future in this world. Is it in this clan? Will it be at Eivor’s side? Where do I belong?”

Valka nodded, then she took the bones and teeth in her hands and formed a hollow, whispering through her thumbs and holding her hands over the bowl with the burning incense. 

“Close your eyes and repeat those questions in silence,” she said. You did so, breathing in the unfamiliar, but soothing vapor and focusing on your future and Eivor’s role in it. You heard the bones rattle in Valka’s hands, then she threw them on the table. You kept your eyes closed. 

Valka was humming softly, taking her time reading the story told before her. Then she spoke with a quiet yet hauntingly powerful voice, filling the room, your head, and your heart with her words. 

_ “You will see more of this world and you will travel far in this life. Your place is not here, nor is it fixed to anywhere in this world.  _

_ Instead, your path is interwoven with that of a drengr, strong and hot-hearted. Your relationship will have to overcome grief and pain, it will be attacked and doubted by the world around you. But should you leave their side, there will be disaster and death for the drengr. If you succeed together, you too shall become a warrior and songs will be written about both of you.  _

_ You must choose between the paths laid out for you, and you must fight for your choice, or you will perish in an attempt to escape your fate.” _

Valka took your hands and you opened your eyes. Her gaze was full of wonder and empathy.

“The Gods have not granted you a simple life. You will face pain and hardships, but there is potential for you to make your life fulfilling and glorious. I promise you, I will be at your service for the years to come and I will stand by your side.” 

She lowered her head and pressed her forehead strange to receive this admiration and devotion from the woman who knew so much more than you and whom you owed your life to. Following an impulse, you crawled around the table and hugged Valka tightly. She held you close and you inhaled her wonderful, warm scent. She was the only person you were absolutely sure you could trust here. 

After you had sat in silence for a while, Valka got up and prepared a small meal consisting of bread, goat cheese, dried fruit, and smoked meat. You told her about Eivor’s behavior toward you ever since you had met her and about last night, suddenly not feeling the urge to cry anymore. Even though a part of you was still fighting Valka’s prophecy, the voice of your priest at Williamsburg screaming at you to renounce this blasphemy and pray for forgiveness for partaking in heretic ritual, you felt a finality in her words. She was speaking the truth and there was nothing you could do to change it.

There was a future for you and Eivor, it had been written out long before you had met. You were meant to be together. But you had a choice. You could walk away and spare yourself the pain, the fight and the heartbreak that was predestined for your relationship and already held you in its grip. Leaving Eivor would free you, but it would mean condemning her to misery and failure. 

Why was this decision placed in your hands? You did not want to decide over the fate of someone else. Valka explained to you that you did not have to choose now, you had time to figure out what you wanted and to confront Eivor about her relationship with Randvi. She was the first obstacle standing between you, and if there was to be a chance for you, Eivor would have to relieve your relationship of the burden of another love. 

The pain you had experienced last night had been worse than anything you had ever felt before. For a moment, you had felt like you were going to die. How could you choose a path that bore the possibility of feeling such anguish and terror again? Was it not better to gather your strength and flee this place, or at least to walk away from Eivor and protect your heart? You did not want to fight Randvi and you did not want to run into anything you might regret years later. 

You stayed with Valka until after nightfall, learning about herbs and her ways of healing as well as life in Norway and the Raven clan’s history. Valka promised to take you with her to collect wild plants as soon as spring came and to teach you more, so long as you taught her the stories and songs of your people. She was interested in your myths and legends, in the music played at feasts, weddings, and funerals, and any other customs and rites. You were extremely grateful for having found a friend in the healer and seeress. Her presence made you feel calm and grounded. 

Valka was just showing you how to make a brew out of yarrow and valerian root that helped soothe pain during the monthly flow when there was a commotion outside. People were yelling and a horn sounded from a distance. You sprang up in fear - was this an attack?

“It’s alright, Y/N,” Valka said as she stood up and stretched her limbs. “Eivor and her men have returned successfully.”


	6. A Place in this World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eivor has come back from her raid and the clan celebrates with a big feast. More drunk confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're all deep in it now. Thank you guys for diving in with me, now we just have to dig our way back out (well, Eivor does).
> 
> If you want to feel what I felt while writing this, you can put on the playlist I made - it's called "gay suffering" (by anja_ilka) on Spotify, the picture is of Sandra Oh smoking a cigarette and contemplating life.
> 
> Content Warning for alcohol and food consumption, blood, injury, emotional anguish and lesbian yearning

As you left Valka’s hut, you could see people rushing down the hill toward the dock where a small crowd had gathered already. Sigurd and Randvi stood ready to greet Eivor and the other warriors. You arrived just in time to watch Eivor step on solid ground after all the others had already gotten on their way to the longhouse, surrounded by the singing and cheering people who had waited for them all day.

The blonde she-wolf looked exhausted but happy. The sight of her felt like a punch to your gut. She was covered in blood, her beautiful hair dark and sticking together in thick strands, only her teeth flashing white as she smiled at the few people left waiting for her. 

“Eivor!” Sigmund greeted her, “You were successful!” They shook hands and hugged.

“Did you expect any less?” Eivor taunted him in her deep voice, laughing as he assured her of his confidence in her. 

Her eyes brushed over Randvi and a strange expression flickered over her face, vanishing too quickly for you to grasp its meaning. Then her gaze met yours and again, she seemed to be fighting conflicting emotions. At last, she smiled and took a few steps toward you. 

“Y/N! All your predictions proved true. You honored us greatly today.” She placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed as Sigurd and Randvi both turned to look at you. 

“Is that so?” Sigurd asked with raised eyebrows. “Then it seems that thanks are in order. We shall prepare a welcoming ritual for you to become a member of the Raven clan, if that is your wish.” He gave you a respectful nod and left for the longhouse. Randvi lingered just a moment longer, looking you and Eivor up and down, then she followed him. 

Eivor had moved on to greet Valka and this time her face showed nothing but love and warmth. She hugged the healer tightly and pulled something from her pocket. It was a set of long claws on a string. Valka’s face lit up.

“Bear claws! I thought there were no more bears in these lands.” She took them and held them up to her face, inspecting them closely.

“Oh, I suspect the same,” Eivor said, “maybe this was the last one. The Steward wore it around his neck. It didn’t bring him much luck.” She smirked, not knowing how terrifying she looked, drenched in blood and dirt and smelling like death itself. Valka seemed to notice the same.

“Eivor, I mean no disrespect, but… I think you should wash before attending the feast. For your own good and everyone else’s sanity.”

The warrior looked confused for a second, then she laughed out loud and looked at her hands. 

“You’re a wise woman, Valka. I should do that.” Her eyes darted to you for a second, then she nodded and laid a fist on her chest. “I will meet you at the longhouse, then.” 

You both looked after her as she walked up to her hut, then Valka gently touched your arm.

“Let us celebrate. There is enough time to worry tomorrow or the day after. I think you’re even well enough to have some ale tonight.” She grinned at you and hooked her arm under yours, then you followed the trail of noise to the feast. 

The feast was already in full swing; there was a big fire in the middle of the hall and people were eating and drinking, singing and dancing and praising Eivor's warriors for their victory. You quickly found Sfáva, the old cook who greeted you with great excitement. She gave you both plates with meat and vegetables and handed you two clay jugs, which were quickly filled by a young man responsible for the ale barrels. You sat down together at the front of a long table, right at the foot of Sigurd’s table.

You felt Randvi’s eyes on you again, but you decided to simply not waste any more time worrying about her tonight. While you felt genuinely sorry for the heartbreak she had been through, it was not your fault and should not control your life in the clan. So you raised your jug to Sigmund’s first toast of many that evening and emptied half of it in one go. Valka laughed at you and you both dug into your meal, hungry from the long day of talking and worrying. 

A murmur went through the crowd when Eivor finally entered the hall. She was all clean now, her blonde, wet hair shining in the light of the torches, a few fresh braids taming the warrior’s mane. She wore the leather pants and a tunic you had repaired and a grey fur cape was draped over her shoulders to protect her from the cold. Her father’s ax and a longsword hung from a belt around her hips. 

Her eyes scanned the crowd and found you, your hand that was holding a spoon stopping mid-air as you froze under her gaze. She seemed to take a deep breath and straighten up before coming toward you. She stopped next to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. Her touch burned your skin through the fabric of your tunic, anger and passion, sadness and excitement fighting a battle in your stomach. You felt your blood rush to your cheeks as you looked up at the blonde towering above you.

“Enjoy your meal, Y/N. You deserve it.” She squeezed your shoulder and winked at Valka before turning around and joining her brother at his table, conveniently sitting just a few feet away from you and facing you directly. You just stared at the tabletop and tried not to choke on your food, downing another jug of ale to get yourself to loosen up. 

After a while, Sigurd rose to give another speech, this time with and for Eivor at his side. He had already drunk a considerable amount of mead and was slurring his words ever so slightly, but he managed to stay standing up for the whole speech. 

“My dear Ravens, my warriors, and my wolf-kissed _drengr_! You have made me proud today, proud to call you my clan! I want to thank each and every one of you who fought bravely today.” He raised his drinking horn to each of the people that had been involved in the raid. “I’m glad that we did not have to give away any of our warriors to Valhalla at Fort Winton. Together, we shall make England tremble!” 

He swayed slightly as cheers erupted around the hall and Randvi stood up, supporting him with a hand on his back.

“Let us not forget the people who made this possible,” he continued. “My beautiful wife, Randvi, helped plan this raid and made sure our _drengrs_ were well prepared!” He opened his mouth to continue, but Randvi cut him off.

“I thank you, Sigurd, but it was not only me that made this possible. We have to thank the English girl down there!” She pointed at you. “Her willingness to betray her people and tell us everything about their weaknesses enabled us to slice through them like a knife through butter today. Thank you, Y/N!”

Even though most people around you cheered and clapped for you, you felt nothing but white-hot shame and anger rise inside of you. How could she disgrace you like this, after everything you had done for her? Valka placed her hand on yours and shot you a warning look. Eivor had stayed silent and you could see out of the corner of your eye that her hands were balled up into fists. You risked a look at her and she met your gaze, shaking her head almost unnoticeably and telling you without words how sorry she was for Randvi’s behavior. 

As soon as everyone had gone back to eating and talking, Eivor got up from the table, shot Randvi an icy look, and vanished into one of the back rooms. Randvi seemed unnerved, shuffling her feet as she waited for the right moment to get up as well. When one of the warriors came up to Sigurd to ask him something, she excused herself and went after Eivor. You and Valka exchanged a look, then she nodded. 

You got up, took your empty jug, and quietly made your way toward the back of the hall. Keeping your head down, you passed a couple that was already half undressed in one of the alcoves and a man sitting on the floor and sleeping upright against the wall, his loud snores muffling your steps. Finally, you heard voices.

“-was the truth! I don’t trust her after she willingly betrayed her people and neither should you!”

“Do not speak to me of betrayal!” Eivor’s voice was cold. “Ever since she arrived here, you have been on a warpath. Can’t you accept that something is not about you for once?”

“Eivor -” Randvi sounded desperate. “I don’t mean any harm, you know that. I just want to protect you. This girl, something is wrong about her. Why did she give up so easily?”

“Because her fucking master made her life a living hell, that is why! Here she finally had a chance to be treated with respect. But it seems you won’t grant her that, you won’t leave her in peace nor will you finally let me go!” Eivor kicked something and it crashed through the room. You pressed yourself into your corner and held your breath.

“Eivor.” Randvi suddenly spoke sweetly, her voice endearing. “Don’t act like you actually want that. We belong together, last night proved that yet again.” Eivor huffed at her words. 

“Last night was a grave mistake. I was drunk and you caught me off guard outside. I admit that it felt good for the moment, but as soon as I left I knew I should not have given in. You _have_ to accept my decision.” Eivor sighed. When she continued, she just sounded terribly sad and exhausted. “I do not love you anymore. And I cannot betray Sigurd any longer. Why can’t we part gracefully and accept that our time together has come to an end? Why are you fighting this losing battle?”

There was silence for a moment and you were about to hurry off when you heard a sob. Randvi was crying. 

“I can’t, Eivor, I can’t lose you. You are the only person who has ever understood me, who has made me feel complete and made my life worth living. I am no one without you, nothing but an empty shell. I cannot bring myself to let you go. The pain of loving you is tearing me apart, but I still dread the pain of letting you go too much to loosen my grip.”

Your heart dropped at her words. She loved Eivor deeply, and she was acting out of desperation. That was why she had treated you like this. _Eivor the Heartbreaker_. Randvi’s crying sounded muffled now, maybe Eivor was holding her to soothe her. Then Randvi cleared her throat.

“I will try to treat the English girl fairly from now on. She has no idea what she stumbled into and it is not her fault.” A weight lifted off your chest at her words. “But Eivor, promise me this: do not make any rash decisions and be careful who you trust. Do not hurt me on purpose, I beg you. Give me time and stay by my side through this. I cannot live without you.”

When Eivor next spoke, she was also crying. 

“Oh Randvi, what cruel fate have the Gods given us? I wish it was not so, I never wished to cause you any sorrow. I promise I won’t leave you, but I can’t be with you anymore. What happened between us is over and I sincerely hope” - she gasped for air - “that we can continue to be the close friends we always were. I don’t want to lose you either.”

You had heard enough. Slowly, you backed away from the dark room and made your way to Sfáva, thanking her for the great meal and filling up your jug. As you turned toward the open hall, you noticed that Valka was no longer sitting at your table and nowhere to be seen. You had a feeling that she had snuck away with her lover again and smiled into your ale at the thought. Looking up, you saw Randvi sitting down at the table again, her face turned away from Sigurd as she emptied her drinking horn in one swig. 

You jumped when Eivor suddenly appeared next to you. Her eyes were glazed and her lashes still wet, but she tried to gave you a brave smile. 

“How have you been, little bird?” The sight of her face and the hope in her eyes twisted your stomach and almost made you bend over in pain. You swallowed hard.

“Good. I spent the day with Valka. I’m healing.” 

Eivor nodded and stared into her drinking horn. 

“I just wanted to say -” she gave you a quick look, then she turned fully toward you. “I am deeply grateful for your help in this. We would have fought much longer and suffered many losses, had you not prepared us for this day. Thank you.” 

She reached out a hand for you and then stopped, letting it fall to her side. Following her movement with your eyes, you suddenly noticed a fresh blood stain forming on her hip below her belt, hidden by the handle of the ax. You immediately forgot all your resentment and sorrow and stepped closer, lifting the heavy ax to inspect her side.

“Eivor - are you hurt?” 

She gently took the weapon from your hands and let it fall back down, flinching when its weight pulled on the belt and pressed against her wound.

“It’s nothing, sweet Y/N. Just a scratch. The man that caused it paid with his life.” She took a swig of mead and looked around the room.

“They are celebrating my victory, yet I do not feel vindictive at all. Everything feels muted today.”

You were at a loss for words. What could you possibly say that would make her feel better without giving away what you knew? And after all, she had hurt you, too. So you just hummed in approval and shuffled your feet, waiting for her to say something. 

The silence between you got longer and more uncomfortable until suddenly a younger member of the clan stumbled drunkenly toward you. Eivor caught him with one hand before he could land in your arms or run you into the ground.

“Get it together, Norvid,” she hissed and gave him a shove toward his friend that had come after him and was laughing loudly. 

“Sorry, Eivor. Milady.” The drunk man bowed to you before his friend dragged him away. His words confused you. Milady? Was he mocking you? Was this the result of Randvi’s side blow against you earlier? You sighed and were actually thankful when you spotted Lewin, the butcher from Williamsburg that had taken up work here, too. 

You excused yourself with a nod toward Eivor, then you rushed to join your old companion. He was happy to see you and introduced you enthusiastically to his new friends. He told you that Aelfric and Hal were at the stables to check on the horses and get their new dice game. They were going to be back soon. 

When they returned, you all dutifully marveled at the board and dice the men had whittled themselves, then Hal explained the rules. After a few rounds, you joined in, too. To the other men’s surprise, you quickly got the hang of it and started beating them in every game. After you had made them get you more ale and stripped them of their coin and a small wooden bird Aelfric had carved today, you willingly backed off and watched the others play. 

Even though you did not dare to turn your head toward the back of the hall, you could hear Eivor’s rough baritone a few times, then came her drunk laughter, getting louder as the evening progressed. The sound of it still stung. You wished you could talk to Valka about the conversation you had overheard, but she did not return. Maybe she had gone to bed; you knew she was not really a person for big celebrations. 

You had eaten enough to build a base for all the ale you were drinking. Even though you felt a bit lightheaded, you were not even close to drunkenness. Years of drinking hard burned liquor with the other servants at night had built up your tolerance and you and the three others from Williamsburg could not help but laugh at the state some of the Vikings were in. Maybe you could try to make your infamous barley spirit and test its effect on a few selected warriors. Valka probably had the equipment needed for brewing more than just ale. 

When you went to fill up your jug, you noticed Eivor talking to Sváfa behind the hearth fire. They were sitting on the bench and speaking Norwegian, a language that still had not opened its doors to you. They both looked up with an expression like you had caught them in the middle of something. You just smiled and shrugged, turning your back to them and asking for a refill from the boy at the barrel. 

As you turned back around, Eivor was standing directly in front of you. You could feel her warm breath on your face, smelling of ale and the dried fruit she had been sharing with Sfáva. It made your heart crumble like burned coals. You could almost feel the pieces drop to the bottom of your stomach and disintegrate into fine ashes as you waited for her to speak. 

“Little bird.” She was breathing heavily, her cheeks flushed from drinking again. “Can I speak to you in private for a moment?”

You nodded and she took your hand, pulling you with her into an alcove. Her touch sent shockwaves up your arm, fading away in the hollow of your chest where they only found the burned remnants of your heart.

“Y/N, I think I have made it obvious in the time we have had together so far that I have unusually strong feelings toward you. I was unsure of their meaning, but I know now.” 

She swayed back and forth and had to lean sideways against the wall to still herself. Her eyes were glossy and almost blank, but a desperate desire was buried deep within them.

“Little bird, I cannot bear the moments in which you are not by my side. You are on my mind no matter what I am doing, even in battle.” 

Her hand instinctively moved to the now big and visible bloodstain on her tunic. What was that supposed to mean? You spoke without thinking.

“Did the thought of me distract you from your task? Am I to blame for your wound?”

“Oh, Gods no. No blame lies with you. For anything.” She furrowed her brows, leaning closer.

“You are the reason I’m still standing. You brought me luck and glory today.” Her voice got quiet and she placed a hand on your good cheek. “You were sent to me by the Gods, it is meant to be.”

Before you could even realize what was even happening, her mouth was on yours. You were stunned for a moment, completely encased by her warmth and the softness of her lips. Slowly coming back to your senses, you placed your hands on her chest and gently pushed her away from you. 

Her head fell forward and her mouth hung open. When she raised her head, she looked confused.

“Little bird…” she mumbled, holding onto your shoulders to stay upright. “Come to me…”

“Eivor, I can’t do this now. You’re drunk.” Your throat closed up and you were on the verge of crying. 

_Pull it together. Be strong!_ You took a deep breath. 

“Eivor! We’re going to go back to your hut now and I’m going to help you to bed. Understood?” You gave your best commanding tone and wrapped her arm around your shoulder, supporting her weight with all your strength. “Come on, now.”

You stepped out of the dark alcove and into the hall. Most of the other people were just as drunk as Eivor, stumbling around or already sleeping on the tables. When you looked up to the front table, your eyes met Randvi’s. You could see the silent pain in her eyes. She held your gaze for a moment, then she nodded almost unnoticeably and looked away. _Eivor the Heartbreaker_. 

You made it out of the hall without further distractions and met Lewin outside. He understood immediately and grabbed Eivor’s other arm to support her from the other side. The large woman was already half asleep between you. You steered her toward her hut and opened the door with your foot, then the two of you maneuvered her inside and laid her down on the bed. You thanked Lewin and he left for the longhouse again. 

Whispering an apology to Birna, you pulled off Eivor’s boots and the fur that was fastened around her shoulders before covering her with a thin blanket. What now? Should you sleep here, next to Eivor?

You needed some space to think, so you slipped out of the hut again, Birna following you silently and vanishing into the bushes. You sat down on a tree trunk next to the cabin and hugged your knees to your chest, letting your eyes wander over all the wooden houses with their white roofs and the torches lighting the pathways. You could hear the laughter and singing from the longhouse in the distance, but the silence of the snow in the woods behind you was louder. It encased you and carried you away, finally granting you some peace of mind. After a while, the cat came back and jumped into your arms. You held her close. 

This day had overwhelmed you with too many new ideas, stories, and possibilities, too much knowledge you did not know how to use. You and Eivor were destined to be together, you knew it and she felt it, too. There would be difficult times, this being one of them, on your path together. Eivor had to let go of Randvi irrevocably and Randvi had to step away from both of you. Eivor needed to figure out what she wanted and learn to express herself without being blackout drunk, to hold herself accountable for her actions, and to fight for what she wanted. 

You did not know what exactly the future would bring, but for now, you decided to stay at Eivor’s side. Today more than ever she had shown you how terribly lost she was and how she longed to find and be found. Maybe you could pull her back on the path destined for her. She had given you a new life full of possibilities, it was only fair that you tried to help her find her way, too. 

Pressing Birna to your chest, you got up and quietly entered the hut again. You placed your shoes under the bed and took off your coat, then you slipped under the heavy quilt and made space for the cat who curled up against your chest. There was love for you here. You would fight like hell to find it.


	7. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finally tells Eivor what they saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After we've arrived at the lowest point of this love triangle mess, it's now time to put the pieces back together. Eivor has to get a grip on things and the reader finally has to tell Eivor how they feel. 
> 
> CW for blood/open wounds, food mention

You were woken by movement behind you - Eivor had sat up and was cursing under her breath. As she stood up, you turned your head slightly to see what she was doing. The right side of her tunic was dark with dried blood.

With shaky fingers, she rolled up the fabric to reveal blood-soaked linen underwear and stained red skin. The tunic seemed to stick to the wound. Eivor pressed her lips together and ripped it off in one upward motion, letting out a small whine and immediately biting her knuckles to silence herself. 

The gash on her hip started bleeding right away. It looked horrible. The flesh around it was purple from the impact and the wound was deep and gushing blood. You sprang up from the mattress and rushed toward her. Birna yelled in fright and protest and hid under the bed.

“Eivor, oh God! Why did you not say anything yesterday? This requires stitches!”

The warrior was breathing heavily, trying to keep her composure as blood already started pooling at her foot.

“I thought it would close overnight, but my belt and the fabric must have made it worse,” she said, sounding both desperate and confused. “What do I do now?”

You were already rummaging around for the needle and thread you had used to mend her clothes a few days ago and threw her a clean rag. 

“Here, press this on the wound.” She caught it and leaned back against the table to keep her balance, then she folded the cloth and pressed it on her hip with both hands. 

There were still a few last smoldering coals in the fireplace, so you added a few twigs and hung up the kettle with a small amount of water while you waited for the flames to come. The water started to boil quickly and you threw in the needle and yarn, then you tore up cloth into stripes and also put them into the water. 

“Come here,” you ordered and Eivor stepped around the bed to stand next to you in front of the fireplace. Her face was ashen-pale. You took the kettle from the fire and fished out one of the fabric stripes with a spoon, letting it cool for a moment until you could touch it without burning the skin off your fingers.

You gently moved Eivor’s hands and the blood-drenched rag from the wound and pressed the hot fabric to her skin. She sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth, but stayed still and let you proceed. You washed the skin around the wound with the clean cloth and then went on to clean out the gash itself. It pained you to put Eivor through so much suffering, but you needed to prevent the wound from getting inflamed and foul. 

Finally, you grabbed your sewing utensils and started closing up the wound. Eivor’s hands were now shaking vigorously and she buried her fingers in the furs on the bed trying not to move or cry out. You apologized over and over again while you tried to work as quickly as possible. When you were finished, you pressed the last hot rag on the wound and cleaned off the last of the blood. 

Eivor let herself fall back on the bed and put an arm over her face, trying to regulate her breathing. You sat down next to her and stared at your bloody hands. It had all happened so quickly, you were questioning whether you were really awake yet. 

When you turned to look at Eivor, she was staring at the ceiling, a single tear running from the corner of her eye into the intricate braids. You laid down next to her and followed her gaze to the wooden beams above you. Your hands were lying next to each other between you, not touching but so close you could feel her warmth. 

“I owe you an apology,” Eivor began quietly, “but I am at a loss for words. Where can I even begin? I put you into a cage even though you were wounded and scared, and I only noticed you were hurt when it was almost too late. I let Randvi treat you like a traitor even though you only helped us. I forced myself on you last night and you had to carry me back here because I was too drunk to stand. And now you save me once again, even though I have done nothing to ever deserve it.”

You stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. Should you tell her that you saw her with Randvi? She sighed. 

“If you wish to part ways now, I understand. Sigurd will welcome you into the clan tonight. I will make sure to provide a roof over your head somewhere else in this village and you are free to do as you please.”

Her words were a dagger to your heart. She was setting you free, knowing how much pain she had caused you. But everything inside you was screaming at you to stay, to get closer, to stop speaking of separation, to only feel her lips on yours again. You felt your eyes well up. Carefully, you moved your hand in Eivor’s direction until your knuckles touched. The sensation made breathing harder, but it felt warm and consoling.

“However, if you stay despite everything I have done, I will be forever grateful to you. Everything feels wrong when I am without you, like thick fog limiting my vision and robbing me of all sense of direction. You guide me home.”

One of her fingers moved to brush over yours. Your heart was beating so loud that you were sure Eivor could hear it, too. You had to tell her. If this was your chance of resolving this mess, you had to tell her. 

You pulled your hand away and turned to her, propping yourself up on an elbow. 

“Eivor, there is something you need to know.”

Her eyes widened and you could see the fear behind them, fear of losing you forever.

“The night before the second raid, I went out looking for you.”

She understood immediately and closed her eyes, breathing out slowly as she waited for you to deliver the final blow. 

Suddenly there were steps coming closer to your door and you could hear Valka’s voice singing a happy “Good Morning, Eivor! I brought food!”

Eivor shot up and pulled down her bloody tunic before rushing to the door, followed closely by a white ball of fur. You sat up as well. 

Birna slipped out as soon as Eivor opened the door, then Valka stood in the room. She had brought a basket with bread and dried fruit as well as a bottle of a dark greenish liquid. She seemed surprised to see you here but greeted you just as enthusiastically. 

“Seeing as you had to be carried to bed last night” - Eivor groaned and pressed her hands to her head - “I thought I’d come by to make sure you are still breathing. But first, would you mind telling me why you are drenched in blood? Did Y/N finally have enough of you?”

The healer gave you a sisterly smirk and placed the basket on the table. Before Eivor could even react, Valka had pulled up her tunic and let out a sound of surprise. 

“Freya’s tears, what happened here?” She turned to you, still holding up the tunic. “Did you sew her up?”

You nodded and went to inspect the contents of her breakfast bundle before remarking that it probably would be best if she took another look at it to make sure it would heal well. Eivor was visibly annoyed at the fuss about her, but she did not dare to object. You popped some dried cherries into your mouth and lifted the green bottle against the light from the window.

“What is this?”

“Oh, the perfect brew for a morning after heavy drinking,” Valka explained, lifting the tunic over Eivor’s head. The warrior had bound her chest with strips of linen and now crossed her arms over her almost bare upper body. “Peppermint, ginger, and several bitter herbs. It tastes horrid, but it wakes you up and soothes an upset stomach.”

You threw Eivor a fresh tunic and she gave you a grateful nod, quickly pulling it over her body. Valka decided it was best if you joined her at her hut where she would prepare a fresh salve for the wound. Birna accompanied you on your way up the hill and, once inside, immediately chose Valka’s bed as her new throne. 

Eivor bickered with her for a moment, then the cat moved over so Eivor could sit down next to her. You watched closely as Valka heated up oil and beeswax until they melted together, throwing in calendula and daisy petals, lavender, and buckhorn. The herbs soon started spreading their wonderful scent throughout the room and the oil slowly turned a greenish-yellow color. You helped filter the mixture through a clean cloth and caught it in a small clay pot, placing it on the windowsill to let it cool. 

In the meantime, Valka had heated up water and thrown in a few cloves of crushed garlic. Now she placed another round of hot, wet fabric stripes on the wound and gently pressed them down with her palm. Eivor was clenching her jaw and clutching the blanket beneath her, but she endured the procedure without complaining. 

Valka explained to you that garlic fought off illness and cleansed wounds even better than plain hot water, but she was happy with you for thinking of cleaning the wound before sewing it shut. She was also satisfied with your needlework on Eivor’s skin - the wound had stopped seeping and seemed to close up well. 

As you both sat next to Eivor, waiting for the cloth on her hip to cool down, the silence grew thicker. Eivor kept her eyes closed the entire time, not showing any emotion. Valka was unusually late in recognizing that something was wrong. She gave you a questioning look and you just pressed your lips together and lightly shook your head. 

After a while, the healer threw the wet rags into a basket and stood up to grab the salve from the window. She gently rubbed it into the bruised skin around the wound and handed the pot to you. Then she took a long bandage from a box and wrapped it around Eivor’s hips several times, fastening it with a knot. 

“Here are two more bandages.” You took them from her. “Change the dressings twice a day and boil them after every use. Clean the wound and put the salve on before every new dressing. We should be able to remove the stitches in a few days so it can heal on its own.” 

You helped Eivor up and thanked Valka for her assistance, promising to come by later so she could prepare you for your welcoming ceremony. 

As you walked back to Eivor’s hut, she suddenly stopped. You turned around, raising your eyebrows at her. 

“Y/N. I have been thinking about what you said. You saw me and Randvi, is that right?”

You nodded, feeling your throat close up.

“There is no excuse for what I did. I betrayed my brother and I turned from you after drawing you closer for days. Randvi and I were together for some time, but I ended it a while ago. She still wanted me and she found me at the right moment last night. All I can say for myself is that I was drunk, so drunk I could not think or feel anything anymore. I was lost, I was looking for love and I thought I could not place that burden on you, so I grasped my chance when Randvi came after me.”

She took a deep breath, holding your gaze.

“I should have never kissed Randvi, not the first time and not the last time. I was weak and astray, I still am. I often drink to find joy, yet I only find misery every time. I know that I should have come to my senses much earlier, I should have told you how I felt and I should have never kissed you without asking what you wanted.”

Her outburst shocked you; she had never been this honest and open with you. You could see she was hurt and ashamed, trying to save whatever still was left between you. You reached out a hand and she caught it between hers, her eyes full of fear and pleading.

“I can never make up for all the pain I have caused you. But if you choose to stay, if you choose to walk through that door with me and continue to be by my side, I swear to you by everything that is dear to me that I will never betray you, I will never lie to you and I will do everything in my power to make this work.”

She squeezed your hand with shaky fingers, her voice cracking at the last words. Your insides were in turmoil, you were completely overwhelmed with everything that had happened. But there, somewhere inside you, a tiny spark lit up. The smallest flame licked around the coals at the bottom of your chest. It was hope that had returned to you.

You knew that Eivor meant every word she had said. She would be lost without you, that much you knew already. You placed your free hand on top of hers and took a step closer.

“My wolf-kissed lady. It is true that you have caused me a great deal of pain. The last few days there was so much resentment inside of me. But we cannot choose who we love and we all lose our way sometimes. If you will let me, I would like to pull you back on a new path, one destined for us both. That path requires sacrifice, hard work, patience, and vigor. At your side, I am willing to try.”

Eivor pulled you to her and you wrapped your arms around her, careful not to press your body to her wounded hip. She stayed stiff for a moment, then she let out a relieved sigh and held you tightly, pressing her cheek to the top of your head and mumbling foreign words into your hair. Something brushed against your shin and you looked down to find Birna wedged between you, meowing for attention. 

You smiled at Eivor through your tears and she picked up the cat, holding her to her chest and gently rocking her side to side like a newborn. The three of you made your way down to the cottage and Eivor opened the door for you, gently lowering Birna onto the bed. You closed it behind you and leaned against the hard wood. 

Eivor stood a few feet from you, just a little bit further than an arm’s length away. There was an awkward silence as neither of you knew what to say, then you decided to relieve the tension. You sat down on the wooden trunk.

“I do not know how fast we will heal. But I don’t want to make you suffer, I believe you have put enough blame and hate on yourself already.” You looked down at your hands, rubbing them together nervously. “I know how you feel about me. I have felt the same way for some time. The things I saw the night before made it impossible for me to enjoy our kiss last night and I don’t think I could do so just yet. What I need is for you to prove to me that you mean it, show me that you are no longer interested in Randvi and that you really want us to be together. Once I know I can count on you and that there is nothing left standing between us, I will gladly find my way into your arms again.”

A weight was lifted off of you, now that you had finally lent voice to all your tumultuous thoughts and the feelings that had been waiting to spring free from your chest.  Eivor stepped closer to you and took your hands in hers again. Her eyes were clear now and she was standing upright, no longer carrying secrets and guilt in front of you. 

“I devote myself to you, little bird.” She shook her head and huffed. “Who am I to call you little, when you have shown such courage and grace? I am the one who is small before you.” She suddenly chuckled. “Someone once called me a lovely dove. I was offended at the time, thinking she was mocking me. But is there a bird more devoted, more graceful and exquisite?”

Eivor smiled down at you and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I promise that I will do right by you, sweet Y/N, my delicate dove.” Her face was so close now that you could see the tiny hairs on her cheeks and the depths of her blue eyes. Her lips were almost touching yours. She was beautiful. You stopped breathing and closed your eyes.

The next thing you felt was her lips on the back of your hand and when you opened your eyes again, Eivor was still looking at you, kissing your knuckles one by one. Then she took a step back and nodded, determination visible on her face. She would do everything she could to prove herself worthy to you. 


	8. Stand By Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tries to speak to Eda again. Preparations for the welcoming ceremony begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited for us to finally head in the right direction, I was all happy and bubbly writing this chapter! I hope you feel the same after reading, I'd love to hear from you in the comments or on tumblr (abbysfrenchbraid). 
> 
> This is obviously not the end, but I'm now trying to map out the last few chapters so I don't leave any loose ends. Your support means the world to me. Anyways, here's Eivor being in love.

While Eivor got dressed for the day, you stacked some more wood in the fireplace to make sure you and Birna would be warm. Holding up the bloody tunic, you told Eivor that you would try to save it but could not make any promises. You took the opportunity to ask her if you could by any chance have more clothes, maybe a dress or a warm shirt and pants. She was terribly sorry she had not thought of it earlier and suggested going to the village’s merchant right away to get you some appropriate clothes for your ceremony tonight. 

You wrapped yourself in your fur coat, then you had some more bread and Eivor reluctantly drank some of Valka’s bitter brew before heading out together. The merchant had set up camp down by the water and the sun was peeking through the clouds, lifting your spirits on the way down the hill. As you passed the longhouse, you heard someone yell Eivor’s name.

Randvi came rushing toward you, her hair unusually untamed and her face red from agitation. Eivor instinctively stepped in front of you, shielding you from whatever might come. Randvi stopped a few feet in front of you and put her hands on her hips. 

“Y/N, I think I need your help.”

You were surprised but pleased to be seen at eye level by her. You nodded and Eivor stepped back next to you, crossing her arms and waiting for Randvi to explain.

“It’s about Eda. She is refusing to eat or drink again. I fear she will not live to see another night. I have spent hours with her, trying to get her to understand why all this had to happen and why she still has a chance at a good life if she just finds acceptance within herself. She will not listen.”

Damn it. With everything going on, you had completely forgotten about your friend that was still sitting in her cell. Randvi looked seriously concerned and you could tell it was serious. It also made you realize how you had seen that none of the Vikings really wanted to harm innocents, they would fight anyone who raised arms against them but you had gone with them freely and they honored that. Randvi did not want to be responsible for the death of an innocent woman, she wanted to give her a new life here.

You nodded.

“I will speak to her, but I cannot promise that she will listen. Last time she would not even look at me.”

Eivor laid a hand between your shoulder blades and turned to you. 

“Do you want to do this now or after? I can wait.”

You thought about it for a moment, then you decided to give Eda some time to think after her conversation with Randvi. You would get your new clothes first, then you would go to the longhouse and sit down with Eda. Randvi thanked you sincerely, then she left without a word toward Eivor. She did not seem hostile in any way, but rather respectful and distanced. 

Eivor seemed to have noticed the same and was deep in thought as you made your way to the merchant’s tent. He greeted you with enthusiasm, explaining that he had already heard much about you and that he had the perfect clothes already picked out for your ceremony tonight.

He turned to the table where he had already laid out some things for you. He picked up a beautiful linen underdress for you to see. It had long sleeves and would fully cover your legs. The fabric was dyed a blue color, like Forget-Me-Nots in spring. The second dress he proposed to wear over the first one was shorter, only reaching the top of your knees, and would be held up by two straps that were secured with golden buttons on the front. It was a pale blue, like the morning sky, and there were tiny white flowers stitched into the fabric at the chest. 

Eivor explained to you that this was traditional Viking clothing. Women would wear a long under-dress and a shorter woolen  _ hangerock  _ or apron over it which could be embroidered or embellished with shells, gemstones, or other ornaments if the woman wearing it could afford it. Brooches could also be used to fasten the clothes to each other or to pin jewelry on them. The merchant had picked out two golden brooches with ravens on them. Three lines of red and blue glass beads were strung up between them. They were beautiful.

Eivor and Randvi wore men's clothes because they had become  _ drengrs _ at a young age and of course, dresses were extremely hindering in fights. Women were generally not allowed to wear men's attire, but for anyone involved in fighting or hunting it was best to wear protective and advantageous clothing. Part of you suddenly longed to see Eivor in a dress, her hair flowing freely and adorned with flowers, her body decorated with jewelry and beautifully colored fabrics. 

Meanwhile, your  _ drengr _ seemed to think of the opposite. She was browsing through some furs and thick woolen pants, testing a leather sheath for a dagger and inspecting a pair of boots.

“I wonder if I will get to see you in clothes like these one day,” she said, turning to you. Her remark caught you off guard. Had Eivor pictured you as a warrior in the same moment you had imagined her in traditional women’s attire? You thought back to Valka’s predictions for your future and had to smile at the unsuspecting woman in front of you. 

“Maybe you will. Would you teach me how to fight?”

“Would you like to learn?” Eivor gave you a surprised but appraising look, her eyes beginning to glow with a deep passion. 

The merchant cleared his throat behind you, probably worried about losing your interest in his precious goods. You turned around and gave him a disarming smile. He took a step back and lowered his head respectfully. 

“Yes, Eivor, I do,” you answered without looking back at her. “When can we start?”

-

Eivor not only bought you the dresses and jewelry without question, but she also picked out grey linen trousers with straps at the bottom that would prevent the leg from sliding up in the snow, a woolen  _ kyrtill, _ a thick overtunic that would keep you warm in the cold days to come, and a belt with several pouches to carry your belongings as none of the clothes had pockets. 

She did not even flinch when the merchant named his price and paid in silver coins. He wrapped all your new purchases into a large cloth made of rough linen and Eivor took the bundle and swung it over her shoulder. 

You thanked her several times, overwhelmed by her generosity, but she just shook her head and told you that you deserved this and that she would gladly spend all she had on you. She promised to bring the clothes for the ceremony to Valka and suggested you go straight there after speaking to Eda so the healer could prepare you for everything that was going to happen.

As soon as you entered the longhouse, Randvi was with you and gave you a bowl of steaming hot beef stew with potatoes, beans, and two thick slices of bread. She pressed the back of her hand against her forehead and sighed.

“In the last few days, I’ve visited her more than a dozen times offering her food and promising whatever she wanted if she only decided to stop fighting me. The other two men that were still with her left the cell yesterday, they’re with our boatbuilder now. From what I have gathered, she usually is a very upright, smart woman, but she is also extremely hard-headed and will not let go of the things she puts her mind to, even if it destroys her.” That sounded very familiar. You wondered if Randvi had noticed she was describing herself. 

“If you can find it in you to save this woman, I would be in your debt. I cannot let her perish in my care, her life is worth too much to sacrifice it like this, for nothing.”

She gave you a solemn nod and vanished into the map room. You took a deep breath, then you went toward the back of the hall and into the side room in which the wooden cage was now empty but for a single bundle in a corner. 

Eda’s eyes were glazed and she seemed to be somewhere else in thought. Her body had dwindled into nothing but a fragile skeleton and her face was white, almost grey. Dag got up to open the door for you, but you shook your head. You went around the cell and reached your arm through the wooden bars to place the bowl next to Eda, then you sat down with your back to hers. She did not react. 

You sat in silence for a while, then you pulled your knees up to your chest and decided to try your luck.

“Eda. I have known you since the day you were born. We grew up together, we had fun, went on adventures, and learned our lessons. One thing I always admired you for is your strong sense of right and wrong. Remember when you accidentally chased one of the dogs off the edge of the hill and he broke his leg and had to be put down? You told your father the same night that it had been your fault. He raved and screamed bloody murder, but you just stood there, stone still and silent, and waited until the storm had passed.”

You had been there that night, pressed into the corner in fear as William had thrown candles and trinkets around the room, spilling hot wax everywhere and ruining one of the expensive oriental armchairs. Eda’s strength and courage had seemed unmatchable back then and it still did now, looking back at the scrawny girl with the messy braid standing in front of her father like a pillar of salt.

“I know that what happened to your family was cruel and your mother’s death was wrong, it was horribly wrong.” A tear rolled down your cheek as you said a silent prayer for the salvation of your poor, tortured mistress. 

“But it happened and there is nothing we can do about it. The storm has already passed, there is nothing left to wait for. No one is threatening you, no one is trying to hurt you. And none of this was your fault. But Eda, if you starve yourself to death now, if you leave this world” - you could not suppress a sob rising from your chest and pressed your palm to your mouth before taking another deep breath - “if you leave me, I will blame you. I will blame you for giving up, for not fighting for a better life. Your father did terrible things in his lifetime, and he paid for them. You have done nothing wrong, you do not deserve to sit here and waste away.”

You could hear Eda’s shaky breath behind you. She was silently crying. 

“Please choose to do the right thing. For me, for your mother, for Delia. You have an opportunity for a life with respect and purpose here, one without serving as an instrument for your father’s plots and schemes. You can be free. You can still live by my side. Please, Eda, please choose to be free.”

You buried your face in your crossed arms and let your tears flow freely. This could not be the end of her life. What a terrible waste that would be. 

As you turned your head slightly, you saw that there was only one piece of bread left in the bowl. Hope immediately started burning inside of you. She was listening. She had not said anything to spite you this time. You leaned your head back against the bars and waited. After what felt like hours, you could hear the spoon scrape against the wooden bowl.

“Thank you,” you whispered, filled with deep gratitude and hope for a future for your friendship. The bowl suddenly appeared next to you, held by a slender white hand. As you took it from her, your fingers touched for a second and Eda did not pull away. 

You turned around to her, crouched on the balls of your feet. 

“Can I bring you anything else?” There was a moment of silence, then a weak, raspy voice answered.

“The auburn-haired woman. Randvi. She really tried to help me. Can you send her to me? I need to speak to her.” 

Relief washed over you. Did this mean Eda wanted to leave her cell and join you?

“I will let her know right away.” 

You rushed to the map room where you found Sigurd and Randvi quietly discussing something. They were standing behind the big table, both with their arms crossed and faces filled with frustration and hopelessness. You knocked on the wooden archway to make your presence known and they immediately separated, putting the length of the table between them. Randvi gave you a hopeful look.

“Did you have any luck?”

You held out the empty bowl.

“She wants to speak with you.” 

Randvi gave Sigurd a cold look, then she nodded and came to you, taking the bowl from your hands and calling out to Sfáva, giving her instructions in Norwegian while she rushed off. 

You were about to turn away and leave for Valka’s hut when Sigurd said your name, stopping you in your tracks. You bowed your head to him and stepped closer.

“I take it you have not changed your mind? You will join our clan tonight?” He was watching you closely, his eyes squinted in contemplation. 

“Yes, Milord. I have chosen to stay at Eivor’s side.”

His eyes showed a hint of realization, then he smiled and nodded. 

“I see. My sister will take good care of you. Your three companions have also chosen to stay with us. They will partake in their own welcoming rite right after your ceremony.”

This news filled you with joy. You had known them for a long time and you were glad to have them by your side at this important moment of your life and in the days to come. You thanked Sigurd for his hospitality and generosity, then you excused yourself and finally made your way up the hill to the little cottage at the edge of the woods. 

The sun was setting earlier these days and it had already said its goodbyes for today, letting the colors around you fade to pale grey. You shivered and pulled your coat more tightly around your body. Smoke was rising from Valka’s chimney and warm golden light was welcoming you from the windows. 

You heard singing when you stepped up to the door. It stopped abruptly when you knocked, then Valka opened the door and gave you a loving smile. 

“Come in, little bird, I’ve been waiting for you!”

She grabbed you by your upper arms and steered you to a chair, kicking the door shut behind her. She had lit dozens of candles around the room and the pleasant smell of incense filled your nostrils as you looked around. Valka had dressed up for the occasion. She wore several layers of fabric and fur, accompanied by a great number of beads and brooches, chains, and pendants on leather strings. 

Her face was painted with intricate detail, black paint forming runes and patterns on her cheeks and forehead. She gave you a jug of hot tea and opened the bundle of clothes Eivor had dropped off earlier, immediately calling out in joy at the fine quality and beautiful colors. 

“You are going to make a wonderful Raven. Strong-willed and sweet-tempered, generous and empathetic, giving and driven at the same time. You and Eivor will be unstoppable.”

She asked you to stand up and gently lifted your tunic over your head, then she motioned to the back of the room in which a wooden tub filled with steaming water and dried flowers stood waiting for you. 

“For me?” You could hardly believe your luck. When had you last bathed? It seemed years away. 

Valka sang for you while you soaked in the hot bath, then she used a soft cloth to clean your body before washing your hair with pine soap and combing it thoroughly until it was free of tangles and knots. 

You lost all reservations with her, gladly standing naked in the middle of the warm, cozy room while Valka rubbed scented oils into your legs and arms before drawing sigils on your palms and feet with a red oil mixture. She also drew a straight line down your spine and a rune on each of your shoulder blades. When the mixture had sat on your skin long enough to stain it, she wiped it off with a warm, wet cloth, leaving behind reddish-brown marks. 

While she helped you dress, she explained that it was not necessary for everyone to undergo these rites before being welcomed into a clan, but because she had seen your future and because you would not only be a servant to the clan but Eivor’s right hand, she had asked Sigurd to do this her way. You were extremely grateful for her, not only because you were clean and smelled good for the first time in forever, but also because she helped to calm you down; she let you breathe and be present in the moment. 

Your hair was still slightly damp when you were fully robed and decorated with your new brooches. Valka gently ran her fingers over your scalp, massaging a small amount of oil into your roots and smoothing out your hair so she could braid it. She parted it in the middle, then she braided it backward on either side, only taking small strands from the top of your head and along your temple so the rest of your hair could fall freely. This way, it could not disturb your face, but instead hung down your back, long and shiny. 

Finally, Valka rubbed a red powder mixed with a drop of oil into your cheeks and dabbed it on your lips. She stepped back to take in her work and nodded with deep satisfaction. 

“You look beautiful, fairer than the dawn, and graceful as a dove.” You could swear that there was a twinkle in her eye. How did she come to know those things?

There was a knock at the door and Valka’s smile grew wider. 

“Come in, Eivor!”

The blonde warrior entered with snow in her hair and a confused look on her face.

“How did you know it-” She froze when she saw you, her mouth hanging open in awe.

You felt strange, as if you were suddenly a different person than you had been the last few days. You lowered your head to look at your clean, soft hands, then you gazed up at Eivor through your eyelashes. She looked like she did not know where to put her hands and finally resorted to pressing them to her chest. Valka seemed greatly amused.

“Y/N, you look…” Eivor nervously ran her fingers through her hair. “You look wonderful. People won’t recognize you.”

You did a little curtsey, partly serious, partly just to provoke a reaction from your  _ drengr _ who still looked like she had been struck by thunder. Without even thinking or hesitating, Eivor bowed deeply before you. Valka was stifling a laugh. 

“Shall we, ladies?” The seeress motioned to the door and you picked up your coat from her bed. Eivor was next to you in a heartbeat, taking your coat from you and holding it open for you to slip in. Valka blew out most of the candles and let you both pass her, then she stepped out into the night behind you and closed the door. Thick snowflakes were dancing through the air and you could hardly see the rest of the village. Luckily, a few torches were lit along the path.

You walked in silence, each preoccupied with her own thoughts. You passed Eivor’s hut and asked her whether Birna was safe inside. Eivor assured you that the cat had a whole bed, a fireplace, and some fresh meat all to herself. You were just about to joke about Birna being the queen of this village when you lost your footing in the thin layer of fresh snow.

You were sure you were going to land on the hard frozen ground and have to suffer through the ceremony with a wet behind, but Eivor caught your arm just in time and pulled you up with an iron grip. She held you upright with both hands until you completely regained your balance. 

“Are you hurt?” she asked, sounding seriously concerned.

“Not at all, thanks to you.” You sighed and wiped your damp hands on your dress. “I will be more careful where I step now.”

You made it to the longhouse in one piece. Two warriors stood at the entrance and welcomed you with respectful nods. You entered first, Valka and Eivor walked behind you side by side. Most conversations slowly came to a halt as people started noticing you and you instinctively straightened up, glad to have two more strong women behind you. 

Sigurd and Randvi sat at the high table, both raising their heads at the same time to look at you and going through the same expression of wonder, realization, and astonishment. You heard someone beside you mumble the words “a queen,” someone else spoke of a “wife” which you hoped was merely a wish and not of any concern in your near future. 

Aelfric, Hal, and Lewin were standing next to a column in front of Sigurd’s table. They were wearing colorful tunics and woolen trousers and their hair and beards were also washed and freshly trimmed. Someone in the back whistled and you turned your head to see Norvid, the man who had called you “Milady” at the feast last night. 

After your long walk through the middle of the hall, you finally reached Sigurd’s table. You did another curtsey and bowed your head before Sigurd and Randvi. Eivor stepped next to you, squeezed your shoulder, and gave you a last encouraging smile before rounding the table and sitting down next to her brother. Valka passed you and greeted Sigurd before announcing that everything was prepared for the ceremony. He thanked her with a generous nod and she took your hand and pulled you with her to the other three that were waiting. 

Sigurd stood up and everyone turned to listen to him.

“Welcome, Ravenclan and friends, travelers, and merchants. Welcome to those who have decided to join us today.” He nodded in your direction. “It is a great honor to see people value our clan so much that they choose to live with us, strengthen our ranks, teach us new ways, and make Ravensthorpe a better place. I recognize you, Aelfric and Hal, Lewin, and Y/N, as equals tonight. As requested by our dear healer and seeress Valka, we shall begin with you, Y/N.” He rounded the table to stand in front of it, then he raised his hand and gestured for you to stand before him. 

A young woman placed a pillow on the floor in front of Sigurd and Valka led you to kneel there, standing side by side with Sigurd and facing you. The seeress took a small tin from a pouch on her belt and dipped her fingers in it. It was a thick reddish-brown mixture, similar to the one she had used to paint your skin earlier. 

Sigurd spoke again, his voice suddenly changing from his hard, brusk English with the strong Norwegian accent to his mother tongue, foreign and melodic. He almost sang the words, and even though you did not understand a single word, it felt like his voice was completely surrounding and encasing you, changing something deep within you and opening up your mind for the things that were to come. 

After a while, Sigurd stepped back and Valka took over. She was now actually singing, her loud and clear voice filling the room as she walked around you and sang to the bystanders who joined in with cheers and sounds of agreement. You had to hold out your hands to show the sigils on your palms and Sigurd accepted them with another verse, then you turned your hands and Valka drew new sigils on the backs. 

As you looked up at Eivor, you stopped breathing. She had a wonderful glow about her, charged from the inside with a flame burning so bright you could see it shining from her eyes, warming you through her gaze. Her face was smooth and carried an expression of complete, utter serenity and happiness. She drew her thumb over her bottom lip, then she gave you the most beautiful, genuine smile you had ever seen on her.

You, too, had to smile and lowered your head again as Valka began to sing louder, holding both her hands over your head and the people around you began singing with her. They knew the words well and you even heard a few of them sing harmonies to the prime melody. The longhouse was filled with the beautiful sound of their voices, with smoke and incense, with clapping and laughter and happiness. 

Valka took your hands and helped you up, then she kissed you on both cheeks and beamed at you.

“Welcome to the Ravenclan, Y/N. May you light our path with your grace and radiance.”

Everyone cheered and raised their horns and jugs to you, then you stepped forward to shake Sigurd’s hand. Randvi now also came around the table, a wooden bangle with intricate golden engravings in her hands. She gave you a warm smile and an almost unnoticeable nod. You both knew and recognized your places here now, your roles in relation to Eivor.

“Welcome, Y/N, to our clan. From now on you will be under our protection and responsibility.” She slipped the ring over your hand and further up until it fit perfectly around your arm just above your elbow. You could feel its warmth through the fabric of your dress; Randvi must have held it in her hands for some time. She stepped back and stood proudly next to Sigurd as everyone cheered for you once again.

You moved to the side, leaning against a column and catching your breath as your three friends stepped in front of Sigurd and Randvi. While Sigurd and Valka started singing together this time and Valka painted the backs of their hands with her red paste, you let your eyes wander around the room. You were surprised by a familiar face in the back of the hall. 

Eda sat at the end of one of the long tables, still looking frail and small, but there was a rosy tint to her cheeks and her hands held a jug of steaming hot mead. She gave you a shy smile. You smiled back, eternally grateful to see her in better spirits and no longer on the floor of that terrible cell. She must have come to an agreement with Randvi to live in the settlement, no longer as a prisoner but a guest. You doubted she would actually join the clan soon, but you were glad she was no longer hostile toward the idea of living here. 

When everyone joined into the last song that they had already sung at the end of your ceremony, you watched Eivor. She sang too, her clear baritone making its way through the room to caress your ears and your mind. There was a new spark inside you, curiosity and a great thirst for knowledge about your clan. You wanted to learn their language and their songs, their customs and stories, you wanted to know more about Eivor and her home in the north, about her childhood and her way to becoming the  _ drengr _ she was now. 

Aelfric, Hal, and Lewin received their wooden bangles. The two stable men’s arm rings were made of dark wood with runes burned into the smooth surface. Lewin’s was covered in some sort of resin, maybe to protect it from any fluids and stains that could appear during his work as a butcher. 

A boy brought four drinking horns filled with ale and Sigurd waved to you over so you would take one of them, your friends doing the same. Everyone raised their drinks and for the first time, you joined into the loud, unison “Skal!”

After everyone had drunk to your health, Sigurd raised a hand and announced: “Now that we have congratulated our four new members into the clan, let us feast, let us drink and share joy and love in the spirit of new beginnings. May we warm this cold winter night with our hearts and spirits!”

With Randvi at his arm, he returned to his seat and patted Eivor’s shoulder while everyone else got settled at the tables and started passing around bread, cheese, and meat. Your friends were marveling at their new jewelry, but you only had eyes for your  _ drengr _ . She noticed you staring right away and excused herself from her table, rushing in your direction and meeting you at the side of the hall, under the columns and slightly less out in the open than where you had stood before. 

She wrapped you in her arms, picked you up and whirled you around, beaming up at you with eyes full of joy. 

“My precious dove, my beautiful lady - now you are finally, truly at my side. You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

She gently put you down and left her hands resting on your waist. You could feel a few people staring at you, but you did not care and pulled her into another embrace. 

“Thank you for everything, Eivor. You freed me,” you whispered into her ear. “I belong at your side, we both know that. We are meant to be.”

You took a small step back to look at her, your heart swelling in your chest. Oh, how you wanted to kiss her. You wanted to jump into her arms and let her carry you wherever she wanted and do whatever she liked to you. You were hers. You leaned in closer, her breath going faster as your gaze wandered to her lips.

A hand on your shoulder suddenly tore you from your trance. You whirled around to see Norvid, grinning widely and opening his arms for you.

“Y/N! Welcome to the Ravenclan, beautiful young lady!”

Before you had any chance to resist, he closed you in his arms and pressed your body tightly to his. You were completely overwhelmed by the touch of this stranger, hanging limply in his arms and wondering how you would get out of this with a shred of dignity left. 

Eivor made that decision for you. She stepped next to him, grabbed his hand and pressed her fingers into the soft spot between his thumb and digit, making him cry out in pain. In one swift motion, she had pulled his arms from your waist and pulled him back with a hand in his hair, hurling him away from you and letting him fall on the floor. 

A few people around you laughed loudly at this little act. Norvid seemed utterly confused, then his expression grew angry. Eivor cut him off before he could say anything.

“You don’t touch a lady without her approval and you most definitely do not crush her like that, you uncouth brute!” She spoke quietly so as to not attract any more attention, but her words cut through the air like daggers. Norvid looked intimidated for a moment, then he huffed and got up, brushing the dust off his trousers before turning on the spot and leaving without another word. 

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Eivor asked you, placing a hand on your cheek and rubbing your upper arm with her other hand. “I should have never let him do that, I apologize for not seeing him coming.”

You still needed to realize what had happened, but you just shook your head. You were already losing herself in her deep blue eyes again. Suddenly you remembered Randvi's respectful nod earlier and how she was sitting next to her husband now, unhappy and alone. Alone after Eivor had ended it with her. You stepped back, freeing yourself from her touch.

“I’m sure he meant no harm. Thank you, Eivor.”

She nodded and asked Lewin to watch over you during the feast, not letting anyone else come too close or get any ideas. He promised to be on his guard, even though you told them you found that ridiculous. You were just some English girl, they would hardly pay you any attention now that you were not even an outsider anymore. 

Eivor stared at you in disbelief.

“You really have no clue, do you? You are by far the most beautiful woman in this room, the most beautiful woman most of these men have ever laid eyes on in their entire lives.” She shrugged and gave you a sympathetic smile. “I can promise you that you will receive at least a dozen marriage proposals by tomorrow night. You are _all_ they are paying attention to.”

She went back to join Sigurd, leaving you completely astonished. Lewin gently took your arm and led you to the table where Aelfric and Hal were already devouring their meals. You noticed you were quite hungry as well and enjoyed some hearty sausages and freshly baked bread alongside the wonderfully cool ale in your new drinking horn. The four of you reminisced about your childhoods at Williamsburg and the feasts and special occasions there. 

Delia had always paid very close attention to the way she looked, often spending days leading up to the celebrations contemplating her dress and hairstyle for the night. Meanwhile, her sister had spent her time outside with you, riding your ponies over muddy fields and steep hills, chasing the chickens around in the yard, or playing ball with Aelfric and Hal. 

“Did you know Eda has finally left her cell?” you asked them and Hal almost choked on his food. 

“She’s out?” he coughed, “She’s out and no one told us?”

“Well, I am telling you now. I do not think she wishes to attract any attention. The only person she has spoken to is Randvi,” you told them and looked around for your old friend. She was nowhere to be seen.

“I think she has already retreated to her quarters, wherever she is staying at the moment. I am sure we will see her soon, let us give her some time to adjust and get her strength back.”

Hal mumbled something into his beard, but they all agreed to give Eda space to breathe. You suggested another round of the dice game they had shown you the other night, but they all immediately protested, complaining about how you had stripped them of all their belongings and left them out in the cold the last time. You laughed and accepted their sentiment - you really had taken everything from them in that last game. 

The rest of the evening went wonderfully. Someone brought a small harp-like instrument, a woman agreed to play the flute, and soon the first courageous people dared to sing, serenading you with tunes they had brought back from all over the world. A few people even made room for dancing and started whirling around, filling the room with more singing and drunk laughter. 

You danced first with Lewin and then with Valka, thanking her for everything she had done for you and for the unwavering trust and faith she had shown you from the first day on. She hugged you tightly, expressing her gratitude for you as well. You had brought excitement, new knowledge, and new life into her existence in this clan and she was happy to call you her friend. 

You were just about to ask her if you could meet her daily from now on and learn more about healing and herbs from her when she suddenly looked over your shoulder and smiled at someone behind you.

“May I?” 

The raspy voice came from behind your left ear and it made your insides melt like candle wax. Valka winked at you. 

“You may,” she said, placing your hand in Eivor’s larger, calloused one. You wrapped your arm around her neck and looked up at her. 

She seemed sober tonight, only a faint note of mead on her breath, her eyes clear and focused. Her hair was plaited back into four long braids and she had smudged a small amount of soot around her eyes. The dark tint only made her sapphire irises shine brighter. 

“How are you feeling?” Her voice was gentle and light-hearted. 

“I feel at home,” you answered. “At peace, finally.”


	9. Heather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader picks up combat training with Eivor and takes a walk with Valka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I would post one long chapter for the Yuletide festival but it just got longer and longer so you guys get another chapter of preparations and anticipation. The next one will be the night of the solstice. I hope you are all well and can spend some quality time with your loved ones!
> 
> CW for assault imagery (in self defense training situation), language, nudity, alcohol consumption

The next few days were filled with training, tasks, and getting to know people. You got up early every morning and either joined Valka for a few hours of learning about healing and plants, sometimes at her hut, sometimes on walks through the forest, or you helped Sfáva in the kitchen, preparing food for the day or running errands for her. Around noon you ate with your old friends and in the afternoon you had taken up training with Eivor. 

Eivor’s wound was healing well, but she was not yet allowed to train heavily so she was all the happier to have you to instruct and guide. 

You had been working with a short sword, first wooden, then metal, for a few afternoons now and while it was still extremely hard to swing, you started seeing a smoothness in your movements. When you stepped into the training area with the straw dummies and wooden targets, the sun already hung low on the horizon and tiny snowflakes were fluttering from a singular cloud in the sky. The days were at their shortest now, Winter solstice was only two nights away.

“There you are!” You turned to see Eivor, dressed in thick leather and furs, with two axes in her hands. She looked lovely, her lashes and hair embezzled by ice crystals and her breath moving through the air like clouds in strong wind. She gave you the smaller axe and fastened the other one to her belt.

“I want to introduce you to another weapon today. I have a feeling you’ll be good with the axe.”

You weighed it in your hand. It was wooden with a dark metal blade; thin red leather strips were wrapped and fastened around the bottom for better grip. 

“How do I wield it?” You tried a few slow strokes through the air. Eivor stepped behind you, closing her arms around you as she grabbed the axe and your hands with it, encasing your fingers in her soft, warm palms. Her mouth was right next to your ear and when she spoke, her breath tickled your skin.

“You hold it with a firm grip, but make sure your wrists stay loose. Don't stiffen your arms, keep them moving and natural. Engage your core while you swing so the weight of the weapon doesn’t pull your body with it.” She lifted your hands with the axe to your top right and made a slow, perfectly diagonal cut to your bottom left. 

“Never swing straight down unless you’re absolutely positive you will hit something. Otherwise, you might hit yourself. You can swing upwards, too.” She guided your hands from left to right with a slightly upward motion. “Never straight, though.”

She let go of you and stepped around you. 

“If you need more momentum, you can turn and swing the axe just at chest level, drag it up or down into your target.” She took your hands and twirled you around as if you were dancing, then she grabbed them tightly and executed a quick stroke through the air. 

“It is also important that you practice to stop this motion if you miss. You need strong arms and again, an engaged core. Try it.” 

She took a few steps back and you assumed your fighting stance and tried a few cuts through the air. Eivor was right, you needed strength to move the axe without flinging your whole body around and you also needed the strength to stop its flight. She was watching you with crossed arms, biting her lip as she closely observed your every move.  After a while, she nodded. 

“Try it on the straw figure. I’ll show you a combination.” She took the heavy axe from her belt and stood in front of the straw man. Suddenly she became a whirlwind, hacking at the figure three, four times and sending straw flying everywhere. Then she repeated the combination slowly, showing you a diagonal cut from the top left to bottom right, a horizontal blow from the right, a counter-clockwise turn into a full-force blow to the neck from the right, and at last a skull-splitting hit from the top down. 

You could only imagine the terror and fright it had to cause in her enemies to see her on the battlefield. She was glorious, turning to you with a glow in her eyes. 

“Now you.”

You stood in front of the figure and repeated her example slowly at first, trying to remember the right order and direction. She nodded encouragingly and seemed satisfied with your precision. You dared to work faster and started continuously repeating the combination, over and over again, harder and faster every time until your lungs and shoulders were on fire and sweat was running down your temples. Eivor was cheering for you with her booming voice, yelling at you to go another round and to hit harder, to keep your core tight and your wrists loose. 

When you turned to her, out of breath and happy with your new weapon, she looked incredibly proud, smiling at you and stepping forward to grab your shoulders.

“I knew this was the right weapon for you. We shall continue training with others, but I think it wise to focus on the axe from now on. You will be a force to be reckoned with.”

You continued training until the sun was long gone, fighting the straw figures in the light of several torches, learning new moves and more difficult combinations from your  _ drengr, _ and giving it your all until you had absolutely no strength left in a single fiber of your body. Eivor had made you run laps and fight every figure in the course, climb obstacles, and defend yourself from a figure behind you. In the end, all you could do was lay down on a snowed up ball of straw and try to regain control of your breath. 

Even though Eivor’s training was rigorous and she always managed to completely drain you, you felt the happiest after working with her every day, proud of your accomplishments and hard work and delighted at spending this much time with the warrior. She was also in high spirits every time, amazed at your quick learning progress and your willingness to push yourself until the very end. 

She let herself fall down on the straw next to you. It had stopped snowing and the last small cloud was slowly making way for a clear sky filled with thousands of stars. 

“You did well today.” Eivor’s voice was smooth as silk, and she sounded very content.

“You’re a great teacher. It’s my pleasure,” you replied.”I never thought I’d be one for fighting.”

You thought back to the kitchen on the day you had first met Eivor. William had hit you so hard you had been thrown back into the shelves and almost died later when the wound had festered. What would happen if he tried this now? Would you be able to defend yourself, even without a weapon?

A meow tore you from your thoughts. Birna had come to pick you up for supper. Eivor greeted the cat with great enthusiasm and picked her up, cradling her in her arms. 

“Are you hungry, my little princess? We shall find you something to eat.”

The cat answered with a satisfied grunt. You made your way to the longhouse together, all of your stomachs growling with hunger after the long day. Eivor gave you Birna and joined Sigurd at his table while you visited Sfáva at the hearth. She was delighted to see Birna and gave her some leftover ham right away. 

“You hungry?” She answered your surprised expression with her almost toothless smile. “I learn English now. Eda.” 

The old woman had only spoken Norwegian so far, making it hard for you to communicate. Apparently, Eda had started spending time with her and teaching her a few words of your language. Even though Sfáva spoke with a thick accent, it was wonderful to suddenly understand her. Following an impulse, you stretched out your arms in joy and she immediately hugged you tight, her smell of herbs and wool filling your nose. What a wonderful woman. 

“Well, may I have some supper?” you asked, stepping back and smiling at her. She grabbed a bowl right away, filling it with hot stew and sausages. 

“You always hungry now. You fight.” She gave you two additional slices of dark rye bread and you had to laugh. She was right. Ever since you had taken up training with Eivor, you ate twice as much as before. A voice next to you joined the conversation.

“Well, the best fighters deserve the best food.” Norvid was standing next to you, grinning widely. “I saw you training the last couple of days. You are making great progress.” 

You lowered your head as a gesture of gratitude and thanked him for his kind words. It really did mean a lot to be noticed by the other warriors. 

“Did I hear that right? You chose the axe as your primary weapon?”

You were surprised he knew. 

“Word travels fast here,” you answered him, “but yes, I think the axe calls to me more than other weapons. We’ll see how much I call to the axe in the days to come.”

As you excused yourself and wished him a nice evening, you felt someone’s eyes on you and as you looked up, you could see Eivor watching your interaction with a sour expression on her face. When she caught your gaze, she turned to Sigurd and continued talking to him. 

You made your way to Lewin, Aelfric, and Hal and joined them for your meal. They had also heard about your endeavors on the training grounds and were happy for you. They all knew how much you had had to take back in Williamsburg and how good it felt to become stronger and more confident now. 

“Has anyone seen Eda?” Hal asked casually while he wiped his bowl with a last piece of bread. 

No one had met her since she had left her cell and you were all desperate to know where she was and how she was doing. Maybe you could ask Randvi later. But you had been right in the assumption that she apparently just wanted some time to settle in and recover.

You left the longhouse early instead of staying to drink and talk. You were sweaty and dirty and in desperate need of a bath. Valka had offered you to use hers whenever you wanted, you just needed to fill it yourself. You knew she was still in the longhouse and you were glad to have some time to yourself, quickly grabbing a fresh tunic and a large cloth from yours and Eivor’s hut.

Valka’s cottage was only dimly lit by a few candles, but you did not light any more. You poured two buckets of water from outside into the kettle over the fire, then you went out a few more times and brought in as much snow as you could carry in your woolen shawl, letting it melt into the hot water. When it was warm enough, you filled it into the wooden bathtub and added some mint, sage, and lemon balm into it to help with your sore muscles. 

You left all your clothes on a pile next to Valka’s bed and stepped into the steaming water. Slowly sinking down into the bath, you took deep breaths to adjust to the heat and inhale the wonderful scents rising from the water. The candles were flickering and painting landscapes and figures on the wooden walls, the steam was dancing through the air and your muscles were finally starting to relax. 

After a while, you let yourself sink underwater, holding your breath as the water finally encased your head and your soft hair caressed your neck and shoulders. As you emerged, you began to rub off the dirt and sweat from your face and neck. A quiet noise at the entrance caught your attention. 

Eivor was standing in the door, frozen and bright red, her hand still on the handle. You could see her heart drop when your eyes met.

“Forgive me Y/N, I didn’t mean to -” She rubbed over her eyes and stared at the floor. “Valka said I could take a bath in here, I didn’t know you…”

Of course. You were absolutely sure Valka had known. The little witch. You had to stifle a laugh. 

“It’s alright, Eivor. I’m almost done. This bath is terribly dirty though, you should probably warm up some fresh water for yourself.”

The blushing warrior just nodded and went out again to get water and snow. You noticed you had forgotten the soap on the sideboard. Should you get up and risk standing completely wet and naked in front of Eivor when she came back? It was not like she had not seen you naked before; she had washed and dressed you when you had been sick and feverish. But things were different now. Even though you still had not kissed since that unlucky drunk embrace, the tension between you often thickened the air and stopped your breath. 

You still did not feel completely ready to give yourself to Eivor, even though at times you wanted to. Randvi had been nice and respectful toward you since you had spoken to Eda and she had not moved in on Eivor anymore, but Eivor had also been mostly sober ever since. 

It had been an idea of yours to wait until the winter solstice when everyone would celebrate and drink to see how Eivor behaved and to decide then if you wanted to let her in. Even though the wait was torture sometimes, it would be worth it in the end and it would show her how serious you were about your conditions for this relationship to work. 

The door opened and Eivor came in, filling the cauldron with water and not daring to look in your direction. 

“Eivor, could you please hand me the pine soap over there? I need to tame this nest on my head.” The last few days had really taken a toll on your hair, the braids from the ceremony now ruffled and loose while dust, dirt, and sweat stuck to your hair. 

The blonde seemed to hesitate for a moment, then she took the dark piece of soap and slowly came over to you. When you saw how nervous she was, you suddenly felt a great calm and confidence come over you. Instead of covering or crouching in the water, you stayed splayed out and relaxed, visible for her under the surface. Red patches formed on Eivor’s neck as she handed you the soap, intent on only looking into your eyes. 

“Thank you.” You began lathering it in your hair and on your neck and chest. Eivor had moved to the fireplace, but she suddenly straightened up and half-turned.

“I could… I can help you with your hair. If you want. I know how knotted it can get from training.”

She took the wide-toothed comb Valka had used to detangle your hair the last time and took a step toward you. You smiled at her.

“That would be nice. I’m still not used to maintaining it while wearing it down.” 

Eivor knelt down on the floor right behind your head and started running her fingers through your wet hair. Every time her fingertips touched your scalp, it felt like tiny flashes of lightning struck your skull. The warrior began to hum as she slowly combed out every strand of hair, starting from the bottom and working her way up. Finally, she grabbed a small pot, took some of the warm, clean water from the kettle, and poured it over your head to wash out any remains of the soap.

As you began to get up, she held out a hand for you and helped you stand and step out of the tub. Like before, her eyes were fixed to yours as she handed you the large cloth to dry yourself off. You wrapped yourself in it, then you stepped to Valka’s great wooden table and took some of her Cedar oil, massaging it into your sore shoulders and arms. Meanwhile, Eivor dragged the heavy wooden tub to the door and emptied it into the bushes next to the hut before putting it back in its place and starting to fill it anew. 

You slipped the tunic over your head and let the sheet fall to the floor before wrapping all your dirty clothes in it. You decided to wash all your things right in the morning, Eivor’s clothes included. As you turned around to her, you were now the one caught off guard. She had already undressed and was stepping into the tub with her back to you. 

There were tattoos down her spine and on her shoulder blades, beautiful artwork in dark blue and black. She had loosened her braids and her long, wavy hair was falling down her back and over her shoulders. When she grabbed the sides of the tub and lowered herself into the hot bath, the muscles at her arms and back danced under her skin.  _ My drengr _ .

“I’ll see you at our hut?” you asked shyly. Eivor gave you a look that made your heart skip a beat. 

“Yes, my darling. I will join you there.”

You had already fallen asleep from exhaustion when Eivor came back to your hut. She found you curled up with Birna. The quiet closing of the door woke you up and you kept your eyes closed, listening intently as Eivor threw her clothes on your pile in the corner, took off her shoes and slipped into bed with you. 

She smelled fresh, like soap and healing calendula and sage. Valka must have come back and given her infused oils, probably for her healing wound. Eivor scooted close to your back and you lifted your head slightly so she could slide her arm underneath your neck before hugging you tightly to her chest. 

“You smell nice,” you mumbled and pushed your hips back against her almost unnoticeably. You could tell she noticed very well though, her breath stopping for a moment before she replied.

“You look beautiful when you sleep.” She pressed a light kiss to the soft patch of skin behind your ear and hugged you tight. Birna was purring quietly. Her family was all here.

-

After training your axe fighting for the entire next day, ignoring your sore muscles and pushing yourself even harder, you were picked up by Valka at the training grounds for a sunset walk. She had brought bread and dried fruit, as well as two big jugs of steaming hot mead. 

You thanked Eivor for another productive day and for her endless patience and confidence in you, then you dried off your face with a small cloth and slipped into your fur coat, gratefully taking a sip of mead.

As you made your way on a path along the shoreline, Birna joined you for your walk. Even though she still did not like the snow, she had grown so fond of you that she rarely let you out of her sight anymore. Valka showed you where to still look for plants and how to dig for roots while you told her about the things you had learned today. She was happy with your progress, content that you were fulfilling her prophecy so closely. 

On a small meadow where thick fir trees spared some of the ground from the snow, you actually found small white flowers. Valka explained that it was winter honeysuckle, a beautiful little plant that was most beloved for its fragrance. She rubbed a few petals between her fingers and held them up to your nose. It smelled delightful. She would show you how to distill the essence of honeysuckle tomorrow. 

A while later, while the sun was already setting and drenching the world in beautiful orange-golden light, you found little red buds sticking out of the snow. It was heather, a flower usually associated with good fortune. You collected it all in a jute sack and Valka told you that the tiny buds could be used to aid with digestion and bladder issues. It astounded you every day, the way nature gave you everything you needed to heal and to help, to eat and drink, a cure for every illness and aid in every situation. You stuck one of the small heather branches into your shirt so it rested between your breasts, right over your heart. The winter solstice tomorrow would bring you luck and happiness, you could feel it. 

This year you would not celebrate Christmas as you had done your whole life, but instead, the solstice would herald Yuletide, twelve days of celebrations. There would be sacrifices and feasts, fights and dances, singing and storytelling. Valka’s eyes were gleaming when she told you of the traditions and her plans for this year’s feast. You could tell this was special to her and you had a feeling that it would be like nothing you had ever experienced. 

As you started to make your way back, daylight now dwindling fast and leaving the world gray and dim, you could hear a wolf howling in the distance. You shuddered, terrified of the wild beasts that had sometimes ripped apart your Lord’s sheep and dogs. Valka sensed your fear and took your hand in hers. 

“You must not be afraid of the wolves anymore, little dove. You belong to Eivor Wolfsmal and no wolf will ever harm you.”

Her words made you think. Up until now, you had thought the name stemmed from her family or maybe a sweet story from her home, but you had never really considered a strong meaning behind it. Now that you thought of it, that was stupid. Only people who went through extreme pain or overcame great obstacles were given those kinds of titles. 

“Where did that name come from?” you asked Valka, “Wolf-kissed?”

The healer squeezed your hand. It was dark and the lights of the village only slowly became visible in the distance, but the moon was bright and lit your path in the white snow. 

“You have to ask Eivor that, it is her story to tell. I can say however that it was not a mere kiss by the beast that gave her the title. Did you ever notice the scar on her neck?”

Your stomach twisted. You knew the scar she was speaking of. It was dreadful and large, covering the entire right side of her neck from her hairline to her throat. You had thought it a burn mark or something obtained in a fight. Had it really been the result of a wolf attack? The thought scared you even more. Valka held your hand tightly in hers. 

“Ask her, she will tell you what happened. You need not be afraid, I promise.”

As you finally came close to the village again, Valka stopped and turned to you. 

“I wanted to tell you how greatly I enjoy spending time with you. People come to me with questions all the time, but they just want to hear answers, they do not want to find the answers themselves or even learn how to ask the questions the right way. You truly listen to me and you have already learned so much. I hope I can teach you everything I know so that one day you may know more than me.” 

You wanted to laugh, but she was completely serious. You drew her in for a hug and mumbled your gratitude into her furs.

“Thank you, Valka, for all you do. I am just as eager to learn and grow as you are to teach. You are a wonderful friend.”

“Y/N, is that you? Valka?” A voice in the dark called out to you. A big figure was stomping along the path toward you from the village. It was Eivor, visibly agitated. “What the fuck are you doing?”

You could see her breath in the moonlight as she came closer.

“Uh… We collected plants for Valka and for the Yule festival?” You were not sure what you had done wrong. Eivor came to a halt in front of you and immediately pulled you into her arms, sighing as she pressed you close for a moment, then she held you at arm’s length and shot you both angry looks.

“What were you thinking, alone out here in the dark without anyone to protect you or at least a torch? Have you gone mad? Thor's hammer, I was so worried! Valka, what is your explanation for this?”

Valka seemed not at all impressed with Eivor’s display of rage and worry. 

“As Y/N said, we were collecting plants. The moon lit our way, we were close to the village and only walked along the shore. There was no need to worry. We are no longer in Norway, with bears and wolves all around.” 

You quickly glanced at her but decided to keep the howl you had heard to yourself. Eivor grunted, then she grabbed you both by the arms and began to stride back to the village, pulling you along with her. You could have sworn you heard Valka giggle, but the  _ drengr _ between you ignored her.

Back at the village Eivor told you, a little too sternly, to go to her hut and wait for her there. She had set up a basin with hot water for you to clean yourself and the clothes you had washed in the morning and hung in front of the fireplace would be dry by now. 

“I need to go to the longhouse and make more preparations for tomorrow. Valka, will you come with me?”

The seeress just nodded, gave you a secretive smile, and went ahead. Eivor stayed behind with you. She sighed and pulled you in for another hug, kissing the top of your head and rubbing your back. 

“Don’t ever scare me like that again. I thought you were lost and I would have to call up everyone to go look for you, the day before Yule.”

You wrapped your arms around her waist and looked up at her.

“I apologize,” you mumbled. “I should have told you where we were going and how long we would be gone. I won’t leave you in the dark anymore.”

“Thank you.” Eivor pressed another kiss to your temple. “I’ll see you later.” She left for the longhouse.

Birna rubbed herself against your ankles - you had completely forgotten about her! She had followed you this entire time. You had to laugh as you picked up the cat and held her close; you had not been without protection after all. 

Back at your hut you dropped all of your clothes to the floor and splashed some of the warm water in the metal bowl into your cold face, relishing in the wonderful prickly sensation of your skin warming up. You cleaned your body with a small piece of soap and a cloth, then you slipped into a fresh tunic that was still warm from the fire. 

As you waited for Eivor, you mended a few holes in your clothes and the quilt that kept you warm in the cold winter nights. Picking up your clothes and folding them so you could stack them in the corner, you noticed the little branch of heather among the heaps of fabric and fur. You spun it between your fingers a few times, contemplating over the things you had learned from Valka today. 

The Yule festival would be wonderful and you were hoping to bond with the other clan members even more, maybe even to see Eda again. You noticed that you had forgotten to ask Randvi about her. Hopefully, the matter would resolve itself tomorrow. Even though you were on good terms with Randvi now, you were still not too keen on spending more time with her than was absolutely necessary. 

You were half asleep when you heard Eivor at the door and sat up to greet her. She seemed to be in a great mood.

“How are the preparations going?” you asked, pulling the blanket up to your chin. 

“Oh, fantastic. We will slaughter an ox tomorrow and roast him over a great fire. We will eat like kings for days!” Eivor beamed at you and jumped into the bed, quickly sliding under the blanket and pressing her cold cheek to your shoulder, making you squeal and try to scramble away, but she only pulled you closer.

After playfully wrestling with her for a moment, you settled down and she tucked a strand of hair behind your hair. An idea suddenly came to your mind. 

“Eivor, will you teach me how to fight without weapons?”

“What do you mean, my dove?” She gave you a confused look.

“I mean fighting like when you pulled Norvid off of me the other day. I want to learn to defend myself even if it’s not a life or death situation.”

“Oh, I see.” She sat up. “Right now?”

You had thought she could just put this into her training schedule for you, but you would not say no to a few new skills on the spot. 

“Why not?” You got up and stood next to the bed. Eivor stood next to you. Birna seemed to know exactly what was going on and hid under the bed.

“Alright. First, what to do when someone hugs you without your approval. Show me what you would do.” She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around you. Your first instinct was to hug her back, but you remembered just in time that you were supposed to fight her off. You put your hands between you and tried to push against her ribcage, but she did not move an inch. Instead, she pressed you closer and you could not move your hands anymore.

“See, this is your first mistake,” Eivor chuckled. “You gave up your hands. Never let them capture your limbs and if they have, try to free them first. What you could do now is either headbutt me, stomp on my foot, or kick me in the groin if your legs are free to move that way.”

You slowly put your foot on hers and pressed down. She laughed at your careful movement and let go, then she hugged your ribcage again, leaving your arms free. 

“Now you could punch me in the ribs or the head, but as you have no training in that regard, I could probably take the hits and lock you in again. It’s better to go straight for the head. Grab it with both hands if you can and twist it away from your body.” You gently placed your hands around her head and turned it away. “If I don’t want you to snap my neck, my body has to move along.” She turned with her head and loosened her hug. You mimicked stomping on her foot and she let go completely, stepping back and grinning at you. 

“Perfect!” Eivor took your hand and whirled you around, suddenly grabbing you from behind and pinning your arms to your body. 

“Now how about this?” Her breath was hot behind your ear and sent shivers down your spine.

You tried to wiggle free, scratched at her sides with your fingernails, and put all your strength into freeing your arms, but she held you in her iron grip. You resorted to stepping on her toes again, but she only loosened her grip slightly.

“You need to drop your weight first,” she instructed. “Bend your knees and let yourself fall down, then smash my foot with yours.” You followed her command and she gave way enough to take a step forward. “Now kick your foot back and catch my knee.” You did as she told you and she let go before immediately pulling you in again.

“You can also throw your head back and try to break my nose before taking that step forward and kicking my knee.” You tried it out carefully.

“If you need to run away, always go for their knees or groin so they drop and cannot follow,” she reminded you. “Let’s go again.” 

With a playful growl, she jumped toward you and you squealed as she grabbed you from behind, then you let yourself fall down, stomped on her foot, and kicked her shin. She gasped in pain and let you go, rubbing the spot where you had hit her. 

“Good girl,” she groaned. “Remind me never to surprise you from behind.”

You laughed and began to apologize, but she just grabbed you and threw you on the bed, pinning you beneath her. She sat up between your legs and pinned down your throat, keeping the weight of her hands on your collar bones instead of actually choking you. Her face was smooth and focused.

“Now, what you do if someone is holding you down like so is this: You grab my left shoulder with your left arm, so go across” - you placed your hand on her shoulder, your pinky finger touching her burning hot skin - “then you press my right hand to your chest with your right hand and hold it tight there.” 

You grabbed her hand and pressed it to your collarbone, almost sure she could feel your heart beating faster in your chest. 

“Now you raise your right leg all the way up under my left armpit and wrap it across my back.” She waited until you had hooked your leg around her body, now completely entangled with the large woman on top of you.

“Your final move is raising up your left leg, pushing me further to the left with your hand on my shoulder, and lifting the leg over my head.” You suddenly realized that you were only wearing a tunic and linen undergarments, your legs wide open underneath her and your tunic sliding up to your stomach as you lifted your hips to wrap your legs around her shoulder. Your cheeks began to burn hot with blood, but you followed her orders quietly.

“Now you have my shoulder in a tight lock, my head is pushed away from you and you have captured my right arm. If you pull it, it will seriously hurt me.” You immediately let go of her hand and she straightened up and smiled at you. You pulled your tunic down, blushing at the look she gave you. 

“Again, faster this time.” She repositioned herself between your legs and pressed her hands to your throat. 

You concentrated. Left hand to her left shoulder, right hand holding her right arm down, leg up, left leg over and pull. Eivor tapped your thigh and groaned again, rubbing her shoulder this time and moving her arm in circles a few times to loosen up the strained muscle. She looked quite impressed with you. 

Jumping up from the bed, you got in your fighting stance.

“Let’s try again, full strength this time,” you said and you could see Eivor was stifling a grin. She would never risk hurting you. 

She got up and paused for a moment, then she moved in so quickly you had no chance to react, hugging you from the side and clamping down your arms. You tried to drop your weight, but she just pushed her hips forward and picked you up, your legs flailing in the air uselessly. She threw you on the bed like a sack of flour, then she straddled you and pinned down your wrists above your head. 

You were so stunned that you did not even attempt to wriggle free, staring up at the blonde above you. Her icy blue gaze burned into your face, her mouth was slightly open and her breath fast as her eyes wandered to your lips. Slowly, she lowered her head down toward yours, her gaze still fixed to your lips and her grip tight around your wrists.

For a moment, you breathed in each other’s air. You were one. 

At the last second, you realized your advantage. In one swift motion, you rammed your hips upwards so she flew forward over your head and had to let go of your hands to catch herself. You wrapped your legs around her waist and pulled her right arm underneath her and to your right so she fell on her shoulder and rolled to the side, leaving way for you to roll on top of her. Now you were straddling her, her arm still in your hands.

She was completely thunderstruck, her eyes wide as she realized what had happened. Then she started laughing, her deep baritone filling the room. You could feel her chest vibrating beneath you, a sensation that made blood not only rush to your cheeks but also further down. 

Quickly, you got off of her and let yourself fall to the mattress next to her. She was still chuckling.

“You got me, my delicate dove. An important thing people often forget is the element of surprise. If you have it on your side, you can defeat the greatest, strongest warrior.”

Eivor turned to you and rested her head on her bicep, dreamy gaze wandering over your face again. She was completely infatuated with you.

“Can I ask you something?” you said quietly. 

“Of course, my darling.”

“Why do they call you Wolf-kissed?” 

The warrior rolled on her back again and crossed her arms over her head, studying the wooden ceiling like she always did when she was struggling to put the chaos in her head into words. You followed her gaze and waited patiently. 

“Sigurd is not my real brother. His father was the head of our clan and my parents were great  _ drengrs _ , fighting at his side. One day he was giving a feast when we were attacked. I was only a child. It was Kjotve the Cruel. He slaughtered my parents and many of our clan. I only survived because Sigurd fled with me, but we got separated and I ended up injured on a frozen lake.” She laid her arm over her eyes as if trying to see the scene before her. 

“When I came to my senses, a wolf was there with me. He was all alone and looked like he was starving. His pack must have cast him out. My axe was just out of reach and he attacked me, biting down into my neck to kill me. My cries alerted two ravens nearby” - she lifted her arm again and gave you a bittersweet smile - “and they distracted the wolf long enough so I could grab my axe and strike it. Sigurd found me soon after and his family adopted and raised me.”

Your heart felt like a little clump of cold, hard clay after listening to her frightful story. What could you say to her? She let out a quiet laugh.

“Don’t worry, you do not have to pity or console me. I have long made my peace with wolves and I have taken vengeance for my parents. Now all that is left of that terrible day is my scar and my voice.” 

She hesitated for a moment, then she looked at you again. 

“And a tremendous fear of losing those I love.” 


	10. Yule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Yuletide begins and the reader is in awe at the traditions and celebrations. They finally speak to Eda again. A terrible incident occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just keeps getting longer and longer - I hope you aren't bored of me yet. I promise you all the smut for the next chapter and some angst in this one. Please do let me know what you think if you're still reading!  
> Thank you for your constant support, I wish you all the best of luck for 2021!
> 
> CW for alcohol and food consumption, blood, death/loss, open wounds, animal sacrifice.

You woke up sore and cold the next morning, each muscle screaming at you as soon as you moved under the covers to feel around for Eivor. She was not next to you anymore. You sat up. 

The room was empty, but there was a small note at the foot of the bed next to the curled up white cat. Birna rolled herself to the side when you reached out, expecting belly rubs, and you humbly obliged before finally grabbing the small piece of parchment. Next to it lay the small branch with dark red buds you had brought back from your walk yesterday. 

_ My beautiful heather, my delicate dove, my strong, skilled warrior. _

_ I received urgent message from a nearby village early this morning - they have been overrun by bandits and need our help. I took my men and hope to be back in time for the feast.  _

_ May the sun shine brightly on your face today and illuminate your spirit as the solstice blesses us all. Find Valka and join her in preparing the celebrations, she will take care of you. I leave my heart in your hands, keep it safe for me until I return.  _

_ Yours forever, _

_ Eivor _

You pressed the note and the branch to your chest. This was a love letter. A love letter from your rescuer, your suitor, your  _ drengr _ , the woman who had devoted herself to you. No one had ever carried you the way Eivor did, literally and figuratively. You were sure now; she was the one for you. Tonight you would tell her. Tonight you would let her have you. 

Energized and enthusiastic, you jumped out of bed and got dressed. You chose the beautiful dresses Eivor had bought you for your welcoming ceremony, the fabric a soft caress for your skin after days in prickly tunics and dirty pants on the training grounds. You combed out your hair, an easy task after Eivor had helped you detangle it in the bath.

Your thoughts wandered back to that evening in Valka’s warm tub, Eivor kneeling behind you and her soft fingers on your scalp. Her shaky breath on your forehead as you let your head fall backward, her quiet apologies for pulling on your hair, the water she poured over your head before stroking it with her big, warm hand. 

Birna called you back to the present, giving you a judging look as you quickly put the comb down. You really were a lost case if a cat could make you all flustered and embarrassed about your feelings. Head over heels.

When you stepped outside, the sun really was shining down on you. The air was crisp and clear, the snow was glittering like tiny diamonds and everyone was already up and working. There was a gigantic pile of wood in front of the longhouse, people were hanging up decorations and candles everywhere, every house smelled like a different delicacy and you could hear singing in the longhouse. 

You turned your back to the bustling village and made your way up to Valka’s cottage. She was crushing herbs in her mortar when you entered and let out a delighted sigh at your appearance.

“Y/N! You’re already dressed up, how wonderful! Will you help me today?”

“Good morning Valka. I am all yours.”

She shooed you around for the next few hours, binding together branches of pine and heather, making little bundles of incense and flowers, preparing things for the offering, and trying to teach you the songs that would be sung tonight. 

“The winter solstice is my favorite day of the year,” she said, excitement in her eyes. “Everything that was dark will lighten up, everything that seemed dreadful and sad will show its good side, the days will get longer, the sun will shine brighter, we will feast and sing and laugh and forgive.”

“Forgive?”

“Yes, it is common in our clan to make your peace with the people you have quarreled with over the year, to give each other a new chance and let the returning sun melt away any resentment or hate.” She paused for a moment, then she gave you a side glance. “I think this could be an opportunity for you to speak to Randvi. Or to your friend, the lord’s daughter.” 

You finished tying a knot around a bundle of herbs and wiped your hands on a rag. 

“Do you think I need to? Randvi and I haven’t spoken in days, but there is no resentment left between us. And Eda seems to want to be without company.”

“No one truly wants to be alone. Besides, I do not think she was alone those last few days.”

You turned to her in surprise.

“What do you know?”

“Not much.” She smiled. “Randvi seemed less grey lately, less lonely and stone-faced. She is the one who gave Eda her freedom. I feel like they might have spent some time together.”

You had not thought of that, but she was right. Of course she was. Randvi had vanished for hours on end, leaving people asking for her all over the village since Eda was free, and she really did seem more cheerful. After all, they had a lot in common. Both instruments to their fathers’ politics, disregarded and to be married off for alliances. Both suddenly distanced from those they loved. 

“I think you would do well to speak to Randvi and clear the air if you want to openly be with Eivor from now on.” The seeress gave you a knowing look and nodded. “Tonight is a perfect time to commit to this relationship.” 

She took your hands into hers. 

“I truly believe that you and Eivor are the perfect match. It would make me very happy to see you together.” She ran a hand through your hair. “Now, let me tame this mane for you, will you?”

You sat down obediently and Valka began to braid your hair, beginning with two small braids starting at your temple and running down and back along your hairline. A second braid on either side above the first one ran back the side of your head so only the top part of your hair was still free. Valka took some rosehip oil and massaged it into your scalp, then she took a wooden hairclip with a beautiful wolf carving and fastened it at the top of your head so your hair fell freely down your back without getting in your face. 

Then she took some of the red powder she had used on you once already and dabbed it on your cheeks and lips. 

“You look beautiful. Eivor will not be able to control herself.” Valka chuckled. You had to laugh, too. She had been so wise and mysterious, strange and stern when you had met her. Now you were joking and telling each other your secrets like actual close friends. It was so refreshing to not think about your every word and its consequences. 

“Do you think so? Did you know she kissed me once already?” You looked down at your hands.

“I guessed it, but I knew you were still hurting after seeing her and Randvi together. You were right to make her wait. This way she knows you are serious about this and she can’t make any more mistakes.” She sighed and stared into the flames in the fireplace. “But I can assure you that Eivor would never hurt you or anyone purposely. She has a pure heart and by the way she looks at you, I can tell she will love and protect you until she takes her last breath.”

You folded your hands in your lap, your eyes still fixed on your fingers. How could anyone love someone this much? How did you deserve this, to be adored and cherished so purely and strongly?

“I will tell her tonight." Your voice was strong and unwavering now. "I am giving myself to her completely, no more hesitation and distance and uncertainty. I want to be hers.”

It felt like your heart was tearing itself apart in longing for Eivor. Now that she was gone, you could not wait to see her again, to feel her touch and hear her voice. Why had you waited so long? If only she was here right now, the things you would say and do…

“This night, the solstice, it has a special meaning. Special powers,” Valka interrupted your thoughts, “that can steer the course of the future.” 

You shot her a questioning look. What was she hinting at? She gave you a smug smile.

“All I am saying is that a bond sealed during the solstice is charged with strength, luck, and resilience. Not only will the forging of the bond be… ecstatic, but it will have a lasting impact.”

Oh. She was talking about more than just telling Eivor you were hers. Your cheeks were burning now. Valka patted your hand and started looking for something on her large, cluttered table. Then she found a small tin and opened it to reveal the red paste that had stained your skin the night of your welcoming ceremony. 

“Free your back for me, will you?”

You slipped out of your dress and crossed your arms to cover yourself. Valka dipped her digit into the mixture and gently began drawing on your warm skin. She seemed to write sigils, beginning at the back of your neck and then wandering down your spine, leaving a straight line of runes all the way from your head to your hips. Then she stepped in front of you and you lowered your arms so she could draw another rune between your breasts. She let the paint dry on your skin while she made some tea and handed you a jug, then she took a wet cloth and rubbed off the remainders, leaving behind perfect shapes on your skin. 

“There. Now you are more than prepared for tonight. This will set everything in place.” Valka looked very satisfied. You got dressed and finished your tea. 

“You were right. I should speak to Randvi.” 

Valka nodded, then she handed you the gigantic linen sack filled with branches and decorations. 

“Carry these to the longhouse for me, dear. They will know what to do with them. It is a good thing, burying your grievances and forgiving. A wise move.” She squeezed your hand, then you heaved the sack over your shoulder and set out for the longhouse.

The way down was slippery and you almost danced with death a few times, but you always managed to catch yourself and finally arrived at the longhouse unharmed. A woman at the entrance took the sack from you and ordered a few children to start hanging up the branches. You walked over to the map room, but it was deserted. 

When you turned around, Norvid was standing before you. You instinctively threw your hands up in fright.

“Oh God, you scared me!” You pressed a hand to your chest and let out a shaky laugh.

“No need, my lady. I will not harass you like I did the other night. I just wanted to express my sincere apologies for bothering you like that. Eivor certainly taught me a lesson.” He looked seriously ashamed. You nodded. 

“Thank you, Norvid. I appreciate you telling me. I have to admit, I was worried about the next time we might cross paths.” 

He slapped his forehead dramatically and fell to one knee. You had to fight down a laugh.

“Please forgive me for my terrible demeanor. I will never lay so much as a finger on you again.” He looked up, batting his eyelashes at you. “Unless you want me to.”

You snorted.

“No need, thank you. Now get up, you sly dog.” 

He stood up and wiped the dust from his trousers, then he grinned at you and gave you another small bow before excusing himself. You shook your head at so much boldness.

When you asked the woman at the front where Randvi was, she just gestured vaguely into the distance. You followed the direction of her finger and tried not to get run over by all the eager people preparing for tonight. It was already afternoon and soon the feast would begin. There was still no sign of Eivor. 

Suddenly you heard bright laughter coming from between two huts to your right. It sounded very familiar. As you rounded the corner, you saw two women with their backs to you, cutting branches with dark thorny leaves and red berries from a tall bush. One had auburn hair and one dark brown. A branch cracked beneath your foot and Eda and Randvi turned around, the laughter leaving their faces. 

You pressed your hands to your stomach, trying to keep your composure. Forgiveness. New beginnings. Solstice.

“Eda. Randvi. I was looking for you both. I wanted to speak to you.”

Eda furrowed her brows. 

“Are you alright, Y/N?”

“Oh yes, I’m fine, wonderful actually. But we… our relationship, it is still strained from what happened in the last few weeks. Yuletide begins today and I… I thought maybe we could… find an understanding? Not just me and you, but also me and Randvi.”

You looked at the woman in blue and were relieved to find no anger or hatred in her eyes. There was actually a hint of a smile on her lips. 

“As you may have guessed already, Eda and I have had some time to get to know each other,” she said and stepped forward. “Whatever you say to me, she can hear, too.”

Eda nodded. “The same goes for me.”

You took a deep breath and tried to still your shaky fingers. 

“Well, Randvi, I just want to say that I am deeply sorry for all the pain my arrival here has caused you. Please know that I never intended to make things difficult for you. I had no idea what I was getting into. But now…” 

Randvi came closer and placed a hand on your shoulder. She gave you a slightly pained smile.

“I know, Y/N. It is not your fault, neither is it Eivor’s or mine. I will heal, as we all do.” She quickly glanced over to Eda before sighing and putting her other hand on your shoulder as well. “I have seen the way she looks at you. I dream that one day someone will love me so fiercely, so unconditionally. Do you love her, too?”

“Yes, I do.” You just noticed now that tears had welled up in your eyes and quickly tried to wipe them away. “I really do.”

“Then it is only right that you two found your way into each other’s arms. I would be foolish to stand between you.”

Randvi lowered her gaze and stepped back. You turned to Eda, but before you could say anything, she took your hands in hers and spoke. 

“Y/N, if there is an apology waiting on your tongue, spare it for the unlikely case you ever really wrong someone. I know I have put the weight of all my blame and resentment on you, but I was wrong. It was not your fault we were attacked and you had every right to try and start a better life here. I see that now.” 

She squeezed your hands, smiling at you through tears. 

“Randvi has shown me her world and even though she has walked a similar path to mine, she has the freedom to live as she pleases, she has power here and friends. I wish to have the same one day. The solstice shall be a new beginning for us all, and a chance for me to grow and open myself for new people, opportunities, and a new happiness.” 

She wiped her cheek with her upper arm.

“It is what my mother would have wanted. It is what I want for Delia and Henry. It is only fair that I give you and myself the same chance.”

You pulled her in for a hug, the weight of a thousand stones falling off your shoulders. The pain of being hated by your closest friend had been unbearable. Thank God she had turned around and decided to give this life a try. You probably also had to thank Randvi, the countless hours she had spent with Eda and her endless patience and belief in the good. 

“Thank you, Eda, thank you both for allowing me to reconcile with you. I do not want to quarrel with anyone here, no bad blood. This is my clan now, too.” 

Randvi nodded and smiled, wrapping an arm around Eda’s shoulders as the dark-haired woman stepped back to her side. 

“It is. You are both part of the family now.”

“You too?” you asked Eda, surprised. There had been no welcoming ritual for her yet. She gave you a shy smile.

“We had the ceremony last night. It was private.” She held out her arm with a golden bangle for you to see. Randvi pressed her lips together to stifle a grin. 

Well, that was a surprise. A few weeks ago, Eda had cursed you for your interest in Eivor and now she was flirting with Randvi, a married woman? She really had turned around. Eda seemed to guess what you were thinking.

“Y/N, I apologize for my horrid comments when you first visited me. I understand now that things are different here, different than I was taught growing up. I’d be happy to talk about it with you later at the feast. I wronged you, and I am sincerely sorry. I wish you and Eivor all the best of luck.” 

You could see pain flicker over Randvi’s face, but Eda tightened her grip around the auburn-haired woman’s waist and held your gaze. You nodded. 

“Thank you.” You looked over to Randvi. “Is there any indication when they might be back?”

She sighed. “I hope they return before the celebrations begin. Yule can’t wait, but the ceremony will not be right without our  _ drengrs _ . We’re just collecting some more decorations, but we will be back at the longhouse shortly. If you are idle, you could see if Sfáva needs help.”

As you walked back through the village, you noticed it was already getting darker. When would your _drengr_ return to you? God forbid she was actually hurt or - no. You said a quick prayer, then you clapped your hands to shoo away your dark thoughts and focused on the path before you.

Just as you were about to cross the open space in front of the longhouse, making your way through the children admiring the gigantic woodpile for the bonfire, a horn sounded loudly from the docks. A wave of excitement went through the people in front of you and the children dropped everything to run to the docks and see the ship that had returned. 

Looking behind you, you saw Valka rush down the hill with a big basket, looking worried. Did she sense a calamity? God, no.  _ Please let Eivor be unharmed. Please, please return to me safely, my drengr. _

You lifted your skirts and made your way down to the shore, surrounded by other women rushing to greet their husbands. The first warriors were already on solid ground.

They carried a wooden stretcher. Someone was lying on it, completely still. Your heart dropped.

You fought your way through the small crowd, craning your neck to try and find Eivor's blonde mane among the other men on the ship, but you could not see any specks of gold on the ship. The person on the stretcher however had light hair, long braids drenched in blood covering their face. 

Someone let out a blood-curdling scream, loud enough to get through the rush of blood in your ears. A woman with flaming red hair stumbled forward. It was the Viking wife you had seen with Valka a while ago, the woman she had been infatuated with for a long time. 

Even though you knew this was terrible, a tiny glimpse of hope sparked inside of you. Was it not Eivor after all on the stretcher? You finally made your way to the front when Valka pushed you aside and dropped her basket on the ground next to you before rushing to the woman’s side. The redhead had pushed the hair from the injured person’s face and revealed empty, staring eyes, a handsome, bearded face, and a terrible slash from his forehead down to his jaw. 

Valka reached her just as she started wailing, wrapping her arms around the grieving woman and trying to soothe her. The men carrying the stretcher stood still, their eyes blank. The woman fell to her knees, cradling the dead man’s face and calling his name over and over again. 

“He fought bravely and died a glorious death.” A loud, rough voice pierced the cacophony of chatter and crying and everyone immediately went quiet. You looked up to see Eivor standing at the foot of the stretcher. Her hair and most of her face were blackened with soot. Her eyes were full of sorrow.

“We sent him off to Valhalla and he shall wait there for all of us. Let us dedicate this solstice, this Yuletide to Alfarr and the glory he brought this clan. He will be dearly missed, never forgotten, and joyfully embraced when we join him in Valhalla.”

She nodded to the bearers of the stretcher and they set off toward the longhouse. Valka grabbed one arm of the woman that was still slumped on the ground and Eivor took the other, then they gently lifted her up and helped her walk behind the procession. It was quiet now, only a few sobs sounded through the clear night as the moon lit your path. 

Eivor was alive. She had returned to you. You took a deep breath. Sigurd and Randvi were coming your way from the longhouse, followed by Eda. Randvi’s eyes widened at the sight before her and she dug her fingers into Sigurd’s arm, but the jarl kept his composure and just exchanged a silent nod with Eivor. 

When you had reached the longhouse, a few younger men had already erected a table in one of the alcoves and put down linen sheets on it. Alfarr was lifted off the stretcher and placed on the table, his axe still fixed in his grip and laid down on his chest. Someone put down a tree stump on the ground next to his head and Valka and Eivor set his wife down on it. She was silent now, staring at her dead husband in disbelief. 

It was curious. You knew she had been mistreated horribly by him, beaten and insulted until she had fled into Valka’s arms. Why was she so grief-stricken at his passing if she was in love with someone else and he had wronged her so terribly?

Valka looked up at you and gave you a knowing look. She would have answers for you later. Eivor’s gaze was fixed to the axe on Alfarr’s chest. She had not so much as glanced at you since her arrival. Did she even know you were here? You did not dare to go up to her and so you quietly retreated into the big hall where you sat down on one of the benches and put your hands into your head. 

The childlike enthusiasm and excitement you had felt this morning had vanished. How was this evening going to play out now?

The wood of the bench creaked as someone sat down next to you. You looked up distractedly and found Norvid looking at you with a worried smile. 

“How are you, my lady? Did you know Alfarr well?”

You rubbed your thighs and stared at the floor in front of you.

“No, I had never even seen him before. It’s just… I am not used to seeing this kind of violence. I witnessed it once, the night Williamsburg was raided. This is the first time since then.”

“I understand. It takes you back, does it not?” His hand hovered in the air between you, then he placed it on his knee. You nodded. 

“You are a tough fighter,” he argued. “I have rarely seen someone learn so quickly and take to arms so well. If you wish to use those skills in the future, you must be prepared to see much more blood and death in the course of your life.”

You wanted to object, but then you realized that he was speaking the truth. If you were to become a warrior and fight at Eivor’s side, you would not only see violence, you would inflict it. That was the path you had chosen for yourself. You looked up at him and smiled.

“You’re right. Thank you for checking on me, I will be alright.” You touched his arm in a gesture of gratefulness and were just about to get up and look for Sfáva when you noticed a large figure in the corner of your eye.

Eivor was leaning against the wall next to the alcove, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed amidst the black paint. Her mouth was a straight line. When she caught your gaze, she pushed herself off the wall and strode to the entrance of the longhouse, vanishing before you could say anything. You jumped up and rushed after her, but she was nowhere to be seen. 

You remembered the basket Valka had dropped down at the dock and made your way down to the water in hopes of retrieving it. As you came closer, you saw a dark-haired woman crouched over the spot, gathering items scattered on the snow and putting them back in the basket. 

It was Eda, smiling when she noticed you coming toward her. You helped her pick up the last few strips of linen and leather sachets with herbs, then you offered to carry the basket, breaking the silence.

“What a terrible thing. Today, of all days.” 

“Oh yes, a dreadful night for his poor wife,” Eda said. “I felt like all the blood in my veins froze when I saw him lying there, his wife sobbing for her dear beloved.” 

Dear beloved? You were not so sure of that, but you dropped the thought. 

“I felt the same. For a moment, I thought it was Eivor. My heart… it felt like the tiniest touch would make it shatter into a thousand pieces.” 

“Now you know.” You could hear the pain in Eda’s voice. There was no bitterness or blame, only grief. “That’s what I felt that night.”

You took her hand and wove your fingers into hers. 

“I still say a prayer for your mother every day. I am sure she is in a better place now, someone far away from all those who attempted to hold her prisoner. You will meet again one day and finally have peace together.” 

“Thank you, Y/N.” Eda squeezed your hand. 

You separated at the longhouse and you went up to your hut. Maybe Eivor would be there. Your heart was beating hard against your ribcage and you had to force yourself to breathe steadily, not sure what to expect from her. 

You knocked on the door and waited for a response, but there was none. When you entered, the hut was dark apart from a few smoldering coals in the fireplace. Birna was laying on a bundle of clothes on the floor, clothes you recognized as the ones Eivor had been wearing. You gave the cat a few light scratches under her chin, then you wrapped yourself in your fur coat and went back outside. 

People were now coming to the longhouse from all directions and the windows were lit brightly. A few men could be heard singing a bittersweet song and someone was putting final touches on the woodpile outside. When you entered, most people were standing in small groups, talking, and drinking ale or mead. There was a big fire in the middle of the room, ready for the ox that was to be slaughtered. You saw Randvi, Eivor, and Valka huddled together next to the alcove entrance where Alfarr was lying. They were speaking in hushed voices, mixed emotions on their faces. 

Eivor was clean again, her face bare except for a red rune on her forehead, definitely Valka’s work. You desperately wanted to go over to them and join the conversation, but you could not bring yourself to do it. The fear of rejection or being excluded was too great. 

Suddenly Sigurd stood up on a table. 

“My dear ravens, my  _ drengrs _ , my family! Tonight, in the shortest night of the year, we experience the darkness, we are encased by it and it threatens to leak into our hearts. Today we have lost a great man to the darkness, but what keeps us hopeful is the certainty that he is in Valhalla now. Alfarr fought bravely and gloriously, he was welcomed by Odin with open arms!”

The other warriors cheered and raised their drinking horns. 

“Let us now follow the lead of our wonderful seeress, our guide through the darkness, Valka! We shall make a sacrifice to the gods that will propitiate them and grant us light, warmth, and good fortune for the coming year. And then we shall feast, in tribute to all the  _ drengrs _ that fought for this clan and in memory of Alfarr!” 

Everyone started to make their way outside and you let the crowd carry you to the bonfire. A few men had led the village’s strongest, most prized ox to the open space. They had fastened the rope on its holster to a large metal nail which they had then hammered into the frozen ground right at the edge of the woodpile. 

Valka stepped into the circle that the people had formed around the stacked wood. She looked glorious in the light of the torches, her golden headdress and her jewelry gleaming in the flames. She carried a large copper bowl and a beautiful, embezzled dagger. Sigurd stepped to her side and they stood at the head of the ox.

First, Valka sang a hauntingly beautiful song in Norwegian and Sigurd joined in for the last verse. He held another small speech in his mother tongue before taking the dagger from Valka. She held her hands over the ox’s head and blessed the animal. You made out the names of Odin and Freya, of Sigurd and Eivor, and some of the other  _ drengrs _ . 

Finally, Sigurd drew the dagger over the throat of the animal and you could see its eyes widening, but it could not cry out. Sigurd had made the perfect cut. Blood started spilling from its throat and Valka held her bowl under the thick read stream until she had filled the vessel. Then she stepped back and watched the blood run over the frozen ground, into the woodpile, and toward the longhouse.

She started singing another song and this time almost all of the Vikings joined in, lifting their hands over their heads and building a beautiful choir while the ox started to stagger. His front legs gave in first and he slowly fell to his knees, then he lay down completely, his ragged breaths making a gurgling sound as his body bled out. 

The singing slowly got quieter and finally died along with the animal’s last breath. Valka called out Sigurd, Randvi and Eivor and they stood next to each other, holding out their open palms as the seeress dipped her finger in the steaming blood and drew a different rune onto every one of them. Then she called out another name.

“Yngvor! Step forward and cleanse yourself of sorrow and grief. Begin this Yuletide with hope for the future, drenched in the glory of your husband and the blood of this sacrifice.”

The red-haired woman, her face still puffy and pale from crying, stood in front of Valka. The seeress gave her a sincere smile, then she wet her finger with blood again and drew a vertical line on each of Yngvor’s cheeks, resembling the streams of tears she had cried earlier. Then Valka drew a circle on her forehead and put a dot in the middle.

She stepped back and nodded. Randvi stretched out a hand and put it on the woman’s shoulder in support. Everyone sang another short song, then the ceremony seemed to be over. Everyone spread out, most people heading for the longhouse as Lewin and a few other men knelt next to the ox and started skinning and disemboweling it. 

Inside everyone sat down along the long tables a first course of food was passed around, mead and ale were poured out and the first songs of praise sounded through the hall. You sat with Aelfric, Hal, and Eda. They were all excitedly debating the meaning of the ritual and its different components, the runes, and what might still come in this long night. In the meantime, the ox was carried in on a long spit by eight men and hung over the fire to roast. 

You were distracted by your strange reunion with Eivor - you had not even spoken a word after being so close during the last weeks. Of course, she had lost one of her men and if you knew her at all, she probably blamed herself for his death. But then the interaction with Norvid and her reaction to it - what was that? Was she jealous? There was no reason for that. You were hers and hers only. She should know that.

You risked a look to her table and your heart cramped up in your chest. Eivor was not eating, her fists were balled up next to her plate and her eyes fixed on the table. Her face was a stony mask, no emotion breaking the surface. Sigurd and Randvi were deep in conversation and you could hear two of her men at her side speaking about Alfarr and how well he had fought today. All you wanted was to go up to Eivor, take her hand and hold her tight. But you feared that she would reject you after everything you had seen of her today.

Hal pulled out his dice game and immediately declared that he would never play against you again. Instead, you taught the game to Eda who had great fun but went down without a single win. She was a hopeless case. 

“Mind if I join you?”

You looked up to see Norvid standing next to you, a plate of dried fruit in his hand. 

“They are going to make the first cut on the beast soon, but I figured that if all the  _ drengrs _ get their meat first, we still have some time to spare. At least three rounds.” He grinned and the others eagerly invited him to sit. Soon they were laughing and bickering about their wagers. 

When the meat was cut, everyone was patiently waiting in line for their share. Norvid stood behind you. 

“How are you liking your first Yule so far?” he asked, a friendly twinkle in his eye.

“Oh, it’s very impressive. I have never seen an animal being sacrificed in that manner. It seemed very peaceful. I can hardly wait for the bonfire later.” You smiled at the thought of the gigantic pile of wood that would be ablaze soon - the biggest fire you had ever seen.

The meat was delicious and there were sides of roasted vegetables, fresh bread, and pickled cabbage. When it was finally time for the fire, everyone flocked outside again. The ox’s blood had seeped into the ground, leaving frozen red streaks around and leading into the woodpile. 

You stood next to Eda as Sigurd and Valka joined together for another speech, then a young, blonde Viking woman with beautiful, intricate braids carried a great torch from the longhouse and handed it to Sigurd. Their eyes met and their gazes stayed locked for just a moment too long. You looked over to Randvi; she had seen it, too. She looked just the slightest bit surprised, but not affronted or disappointed at all. Interesting. Eivor stood next to her, her face still completely devoid of emotion. She stared at the woodpile, or rather through it into the distance.

Sigurd said another few words in Norwegian, then he went around the pile and set fire to the wood in different places. Finally, he pushed the torch into the bottom of the pile and everyone watched in awe as the stack ignited, the wood cracking and shifting as sparks flew in all directions. 

You turned to Eda to joke about her bad luck in the dice game earlier when you noticed her dreamy gaze into the distance, her expression languorous and enchanted as the light of the flames danced over her face. You followed her eyes and landed on Randvi, who showed the exact same countenance. 

“Eda?” you asked and she snapped out of her reverie immediately, trying to look innocent. 

“Yes, dear?” 

“What is happening between you and Randvi?” 

She grabbed your arm and shushed you even though you had barely mumbled the question. Then she pulled you back a few steps, out of the circle, and got closer to you. 

“I do not know what nature the bond between us will turn out to be. But she is the reason I smile again, the reason I eat and speak, the reason I yet stand before you. Something about her is so… gentle, so kind and caring. I have never met someone as selfless as her.”

You fought down a bitter laugh. Randvi was many things, but endlessly selfless was not one of them. You left it up for Eda to learn that herself. Reminding yourself of Valka's words and your reconciliation with Randvi earlier, you hoped that maybe Randvi had really changed. You did not want Eda to go through any more pain. Sighing, you put an arm around your friend’s shoulders. 

“I hope you find peace and happiness here. I know I am still searching for it.”

Eda raised her eyebrows at you.

“I thought you had Eivor?”

“Well, yes. I had her. But I was not yet ready to commit to her and now that I am…” Your eyes wandered over to the beautiful blonde standing next to Sigurd like a statue. “I am not sure she wants me anymore.”

“I refuse to believe that. Everyone who ever laid eyes on you two knows you are madly in love.” You looked at Eda in surprise and she laughed. “Oh Y/N, you are destined to be together. You will make all our lives hell if you don’t finally find your way into each other’s arms.”

She giggled, a sound you had last heard when you were but young girls sharing secrets hidden in the stables of Williamsburg.

“Maybe the reason Eivor acts strangely is because she cannot control herself around you any longer. Maybe it is your touch that will give her peace.”

“Eda!” you whispered and slapped her hand, trying to contain your own laughter. You could feel yourself blushing at her proposition.

People were spreading out now, some staying at the fire, some going back to the longhouse or vanishing into the dark to do God knew what. Eda hooked her arm under yours and you were joining the others that were going back in when Norvid came up from behind.

“Good evening, my ladies!” He was fairly drunk again, but before you could say anything, Eda had let go of you and pulled him between you. She linked arms with him and he followed her example on your side, tucking your arm under his. The three of you stumbled along the path together and maybe it was the ale you had had, or the wonderfully clear night, or how unbelievable all this seemed to you, but you threw your head back and laughed, deeply and heartily. You had found your place here. 

Just as you were about to enter the longhouse, you saw Eivor standing on the side, beckoning you over. You felt a jump in your stomach and took a deep breath. 

“Go ahead, I won’t be long,” you told the others, secretly hoping the opposite. Eda and Norvid went without asking why, and for a moment you stood still, watching them enter the brightly lit room. They both tripped over a fir branch on the floor and struggled to untangle their arms, but while Norvid hit the floor with a loud thump and more laughter, Eda fell right into Randvi’s arms. You smiled to yourself. She was in good hands.

You turned to Eivor and she rounded the corner of the longhouse, motioning for you to follow her. It was the same spot where you had once found Valka and Yngvor, the red-haired woman, in loving embrace. Your heartbeat quickened and you were just about to ask Eivor what she planned to do with you when she whirled around and pushed you against the wall, her pupils blown and hot wrath burning behind them.

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing,” she snarled, “ _ little dove _ ?”


	11. Sapphism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eivor confronts the reader. They make up in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's past 1am and I'm not going to bed before I have proofread and posted this. Sorry for making you wait. This is it, the big bang. 
> 
> Content warning for SMUT!, language, nudity, rough sex, oral sex, fingering, scissoring, spanking, spit and breathplay.  
> If you're not into that, that's absolutely fine, just stop reading when the reader and Eivor go back to their hut and come back for the next chapter.

“What are you talking about, Eivor?”

You were standing with your back to the wall of the longhouse, Eivor’s hands pinning your shoulders to the cold wood. Her eyes were full of rage and her face completely white with anger, making the red rune on her forehead stand out even more. 

“I’m talking about you snuggling up with that little roach all day. Were you actually right where you belonged when I pulled him off of you the other night? Have I made a fool of myself chasing after you while you enjoy yourself with Norvid?” She spat out his name like a curse. 

“Eivor, I did nothing of the sort! He apologized to me this afternoon and I forgave him, he was a drunken fool after all!” You shot her a meaningful look. “After that, he just kept appearing at my side, which was neither my desire nor my fault!”

She shook her head and now there was not only anger but also hurt in her gaze. 

“I had you on my mind all day, through everything, and I come back to see you huddled together with Norvid, whispering sweet nothings and not even noticing me. What is it, did he offer you a bed to sleep in as well? Was I just a temporary solution until you found something better?”

You had enough of this nonsense. In one quick motion, you slammed down your hands on Eivor’s arms so her elbows bent and she had to let go of you. Then you grabbed her and pulled her around you, knocking her against the wall and pressing your forearm against the base of her throat. Her eyes widened in surprise. She could have easily fought you off and thrown you halfway through the village, but she stayed where she was.

“That’s enough!" you yelled. "I have never shared more than that stupid drunken hug with Norvid! He is a nice person and he just so happened to turn up at all the wrong times today. But that does not change how I feel about you! Put yourself in my shoes, I spent all day waiting for _you!"_ You added more pressure to your arm on her throat and saw the anger in Eivor’s gaze fade slowly, leaving behind only confusion and sorrow. 

“Imagine running to meet your lover and being greeted with a blonde corpse!” You slapped her chest in frustration, tears streaming down your face. “I thought you were dead! Do you have any idea how that felt? And when I finally saw you, you did not even look at me, not a single word of greeting. You did not even give me a chance to comfort you, to tell you what I had been waiting forever to tell you! Instead, you run away as soon as you see me talking to Norvid and ignore me for the rest of the day. And now this! What gives you the right to insult me like this, to put all the blame on _me_ when all I wanted was to be _yours_?!”

You let go of her and pressed your palms to your cheeks, trying to regain control of your breathing. Eivor stared at you, a storm of emotions washing over her face. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

“I wanted to tell you today. Tell you that I am ready to face this new year with you at my side, that I choose you for now and forever, that there is no one else I would rather give my heart to.” 

Your chest was convulsing from the cries you were trying to hold back.

“But I cannot give you my heart anymore...” You let out a desperate sob and Eivor’s eyes widened in fear. “- because you have already stolen it from me the day you rescued me from my terrible fate and brought me here with you. I am yours, I have always been only yours. Why can’t you see that?”

Eivor pushed herself off the wall and started pacing back and forth. You turned around to her, waiting for the final blow. It felt like your heart was slowly eating itself, the pain was unbearable. Finally, the warrior turned to you.

“Freya’s tears. I have been so stupid.”

She took a few steps toward you and fell to her knees in front of you.

“Oh Y/N, I have been so terribly wrong. Gods, I was blind. Blind with love, with passion, with jealousy. I should have trusted you more, but I was so scared of losing you, I could not see that you felt the same. My love, will you forgive me one more time? I know I do not deserve it after all the pain I have put you through -” 

She fell forward and wrapped her arms around your hips, pressing herself against your legs and looking up at you, her cheeks wet with tears.

“Please forgive me Y/N, forgive me for my foolishness! I promise to cherish and care for you for the rest of my life and eternity in the afterlife, I promise to never doubt or hurt you again. Just please, please, take me back. I love you!”

You gently placed your hand on the top of her head and traced the red sigil on her forehead with your thumb.

“Get up,” you whispered softly.

She stood up and took both of your hands into hers. Her skin was warm and rough, her fingers calloused from hard work and fighting. Her eyes were full of desperation and you could feel her breath on your face. 

“I forgive you. I wish I could say this was the last time, but I know I could not hold the worst crime against you for long. Our hearts are bound together, as painful or wonderful that may be.” You brushed a strand of that beautiful blonde hair behind her ear. 

“I love you, too, Eivor. I will love you fiercely, deeply, and sincerely until this world turns to ashes and even after that.”

Your hand rested on her cheek. Carefully, you raised yourself on your tiptoes, your faces now at eye level, Eivor’s shaky breath dancing over your lips. Time seemed to stand still when your lips finally met. Eivor’s lips were incredibly soft and did not move against yours, not yet fully taking in what was happening. 

You kissed her again, with a little more pressure this time and finally, your _drengr_ reacted. You both drew in a breath at the same time, desperate, as if you had been underwater for too long and now finally breached the surface. She wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you in, her lips still innocently closed until you ran the tip of your tongue over them. She opened her mouth for you and for a moment, you both just breathed each other’s air. Then Eivor pressed her lips to yours again, her tongue pushing against yours as she pushed you back against the wall.

When your back hit the wood, you let out a small whimper and Eivor immediately pulled back, concern on her face as she cupped your cheek with her hand. 

“Have I hurt you?”

“No,” you mumbled before wrapping your hands around the back of her neck and burying your fingers in her beautiful blonde hair, gripping it tightly and pulling her closer. Something changed in her expression, a spark ignited behind those icy blue eyes and she kissed you fiercely, teeth clashing together and her tongue dancing around yours as her hands on your back wandered lower. 

You lifted a knee to her side and she immediately picked you up, wrapping your legs around her waist and pressing you against the wall. You felt almost drunk, completely encased in the beautiful chaos of the last minutes. Was this really happening? Eivor rolled her hips forward against you and you sighed into her mouth. Yes, this was real. The tension between your legs was getting more unbearable by the second. You grabbed another fistful of hair and pulled the _drengr’_ s head back so she had to stare up at you, her throat exposed and her jawline as sharp as a knife.

“Take me to bed, Eivor.”

You could actually see her pupils widen, her eyes almost completely black as she slowly let you down. She took your hand, then you both walked in silence, passing the great bonfire and the people around it without paying them any mind, and finally rushing up the path to Eivor’s hut. She opened the door with shaky fingers. The room was dimly lit by the fireplace and Birna was still laying on Eivor’s clothes. You sighed in relief - you would have felt guilty for banishing her from the bed. 

You had just stepped over the threshold when Eivor turned around, pushing the door shut behind you and trapping you between her and hard wood yet again. You leaned your head back against it and let your eyes wander over your lover’s face, her smooth forehead, her fiery eyes, the deep scar on her cheek, her chiseled cheekbones, the other small scar splitting her upper lip. You could not imagine how much pain and violence Eivor had seen in the course of her life.

You lifted a hand and slowly drew your digit along the scar on her cheek. She closed her eyes. You went on to her lip, feeling the notch where the scar was, a healing cut on her bottom lip, the soft skin on her chin. She swallowed as your hand wandered lower to her throat, caressing the little dent between her collarbones and then slowly pulling the strings that held the fur around her shoulders, loosening the knot and letting the fur fall to the floor. 

In turn, Eivor gently slid her hands under your coat and slipped it from your shoulders. She smiled as her hands encased your waist, content with your choice of clothing.

“Beautiful,” she mumbled as she loosened the golden buttons on the short, pale blue overdress, pulling it over your head and throwing it to the side. You were left in the forget-me-not-blue long linen dress that was closed with a golden brooch at the back. Giving Eivor an eager smile, you turned around and placed your hands on the door while you waited for her to open the brooch.

She gently brushed your hair to the front before opening the clasp and letting the dress slip to the floor. The only thing still covering your body was a long strip of linen wrapped around your hips and covering your most intimate places. Eivor softly whistled through her teeth and you suddenly remembered the runes Valka had painted on your skin. You could feel the _drengr_ trace them with her fingers, slowly wandering down your back until your entire body was covered in goosebumps.

You turned back around and Eivor let out another small, surprised noise when she saw the rune on your chest. She lifted a hand and placed it between your breasts, closing her eyes as she took in the warmth of your skin. You opened the clasps on her belt and the holster around her chest, letting the heavy leather fall to the floor, then you pulled on the strings that closed her pants. They immediately fell to the ground and Eivor, now only wearing a tunic, stepped out of them, pulling you with her toward the bed. 

She let you sink on the mattress first, then she lowered herself on top of you, her legs intertwined with yours. You placed both of your hands on her face and pulled her in for a kiss. It got heated quickly, the pressure of her thigh between your legs a godsend. When Eivor pushed her hips forward, grinding into you, you moaned into the silence, immediately covering your eyes in embarassment. What were you, a little harlot?

Eivor gently took your hand from your face, grinning down at you.

“Don’t hide. I love hearing your voice, especially when it tells me how good I make you feel.” 

Before you could reply, she had pinned down your wrists next to your head and started kissing your jaw and your neck, nipping the soft skin there and sucking on it, making you arch your back involuntarily. You had to fight not to cry out when Eivor rocked her hips forward again, her hot breath in the crook of your neck and the skin tingling where she had bitten into it. Your fingers found her tunic and pulled it toward you, revealing the same undergarments and a tattooed back, muscles dancing under pale skin. Eivor let out an annoyed grunt and ripped the tunic over her head, throwing it to the side before returning to you.

She kissed her way down your chest, grabbing one breast while sucking on the other and leaving red marks where her mouth had been. You had seen those marks on some of the other maids and stableboys before, but you had never understood how they had come by them. Now you knew. Oh, what a beautiful pain.

Eivor’s lips wandered lower, softly kissing your stomach while your fingers frantically worked the linen around her chest until the strip finally loosened and you could pull it off. She was now kneeling between your legs and you felt a strange thill come over you. How perfectly scandalous, how hot, how wonderfully forbidden this moment was. Flushed and spread out before her, your Viking lover gloriously decorated with tattoos, her breasts illuminated by the light of the fire, her small, hard nipples standing out in the cool air. 

She lifted up one of your legs and kissed her way from your ankle up to your hipbone, then her nose wandered over the thin fabric that still separated her from you. You knew far too well how drenched the linen was, how wet you were with anticipation, ready for her to take you, to do whatever she wanted with you. 

But Eivor was slow, she was careful and gentle. You knew she was still scared of hurting you. You lifted up your hips and caught her gaze as she began to tug on the linen, revealing you in your entirety. 

“I am all yours,” you whispered. “Only yours.”

She nodded, her eyes nothing but dark abysses of lust, and lowered her head, her breath on your sensitive skin sending shivers up your spine. Finally, she opened her mouth and dragged her tongue all the way from deep between your legs up to that sensitive spot that was already pulsating in tune with the drumming in your ears. You could not resist pushing your hips up against her and Eivor took that as a final yes, wrapping her arms around your legs and holding down your hips as she attacked your core with her mouth. 

Her tongue that had been so soft at first was now roughly pressing against your folds, tasting your juices, prodding into you, and making your gasp her name. You lost all sense of direction and reason, dragging your nails over her shoulders and fighting against her hands on your hips, burying your fingers in her hair as you begged her for more. She took her time driving you to the brink of madness, one moment licking you with broad strokes, then flicking the tip of her tongue over that little bundle of nerves, then pushing it deep inside you, making you jerk up and fall back into the soft pillows. You were yearning for her to fill you, to put those long, strong fingers to use, but you could not bring yourself to ask.

When Eivor finally looked up at you, you saw a vicious gleam in her eye that could mean nothing else but her already knowing what you wanted and toying with you anyway. She knew you were still shy despite everything and she would not go any further without you asking for it. 

“Eivor… more… please,” you mumbled while taking her hand and pushing it down between your legs. 

“What do you want, dove?” She was teasing you and she knew you would have to oblige.

“Your fingers.” You felt yourself blush, but before you could think any further Eivor had pushed a slender finger inside you, just halfway, looking up at you as her pink tongue slowly ran up and down over your folds. Your breath stopped as you watched her push in further. You were mesmerized by her eyes, her magnificent mouth, and her digit that slowly curled inside you. Slowly, you let your head fall back and closed your eyes, feeling Eivor pump her finger in and out a few times before adding a second, stretching you out while dragging her tongue over you lazily. Your eyes rolled back into your head as she started stroking you faster, her mouth joining in the rhythm of her fingers until you started to feel a familiar pull between your hips, all of your muscles beginning to flex and cramp up as your breath got quicker and your whines louder.

You pushed yourself up on your elbows, looking down at Eivor as you came closer and closer, your legs starting to shake on her shoulders. There was an explosion of heat in your core, sending sparks through your limbs and making you cry out in ecstasy. Eivor was still caressing you with her tongue, your flesh becoming more and more sensitive until you had to push her head away, breathing hard and not yet fully in control of your senses. 

The blonde gave you a devilish grin and made her way up your stomach, then she kissed you hard. You could smell yourself on her skin and taste your juices on her tongue. It was incredibly dirty and so, so heavenly. Eivor wanted to roll off of you but you held her close.

“Lay on me, my love. I want to feel you, to prove that this is real.”

She hesitated for a moment, then she lowered herself down on you, resting her full weight on your body. You felt as if she might crush you, but it was the most wonderful feeling. You could feel her heartbeat echoing through your chest, the thin layer of sweat between you both, her hips pressing down on yours, her thick thighs between yours. Slowly, your hands wandered over her warm back, exploring the soft skin interrupted by old scars, the tiny hairs at the back of her waist, the linen still covering the parts of her you wanted to see the most. 

Your hands wandered lower, caressing her firm, round ass and squeezing it playfully. Eivor immediately rolled her hips forward, chuckling into the crook of your neck. You hooked your thumbs under the linen bandages around her hips and she lifted them slightly so you could loosen them and pull them off to the side. 

She let herself roll off to the side, one leg still between yours, both of you completely bare now. 

“How do you feel, little dove? We don’t have to do anything you do not want, we can just sleep.”

Sleep was the furthest thing from your mind. You brushed some stray hairs out of Eivor’s face. 

“I feel reborn. You truly are a master at anything involving your hands.” You grinned at her and she had to smile, too. You could almost swear she was blushing. 

“Eivor, I never want to sleep as long as I can love you. I want to explore every inch of your beautiful body, I want to learn about every kind of pleasure from you. I want you to show me heaven with a single twist of your fingers.”

She placed the tips of her digit and middle finger on your bottom lip. You slowly opened your lips and sucked her fingers into your mouth, your tongue pressing up against them. Eivor’s mouth hung open in awe, her breath hot on your cheek. You kept eye contact as you sucked her fingers in all the way to the knuckle, your hand slowly making its way down her toned stomach. She was paralyzed by your gaze, incapable of doing anything but letting out a shaky sigh as your hand finally found soft curls and her hot, wet cunt. You had never felt anything like it. You wanted to make her feel the way she had made you feel before, make her moan your name, taste her and feel her, fuck her until she lost her mind. 

You dropped her fingers from your mouth while pushing the leg she had draped over yours away so she lay open and bare, her legs spread wide for you. You drew your fingers along her drenched lips and she sucked in a breath through her teeth. Without thinking, you pushed two fingers inside her, moaning as you felt her soft walls encase you. Eivor gasped, pressing her forehead to yours. Slowly, you pulled your fingers out again and played with her pulsing lips, choosing to torture her some more. 

“Again…” Eivor whispered. “More. Please.” She stretched her neck to kiss you and you dragged your tongue over hers, pushing your fingers inside her at the same time and relishing at the sound of her moaning into your mouth. Her cunt made a deliciously filthy noise as you continued to thrust into her, plastering wet kisses on her neck and chest. 

Your _drengr_ was writhing beneath you, her breath quick and her hands all over you as your mouth finally reached her hips. You dug your fingers into the firm muscles of her thighs as you settled between her legs, then you lowered your head and inhaled the wonderful musk of your lover, the familiar mix of sweat and tree bark, pine soap, and the sweet scent of her juices. Eivor was getting impatient, burying her fingers in your hair and pulling you toward her, yearning for some kind of friction.

With a sigh, you obliged and dove in. You had never even seen another woman’s private parts before, let alone touched them, but somehow it was the most natural thing. You dragged your tongue over her slowly, then you spread her lips with your fingers and began swirling your tongue around her pink nub, answered with hissing and cursing from the top of the bed. You decided to take it slow, lapping at her at a more moderate pace and massaging the insides of her thighs with your hands. 

“More, please... Y/N, your fingers…” 

You ignored her and when she pushed her hips up against you, you stopped altogether, giving her a stern look. She mumbled an apology and you had to force yourself not to laugh. She was all flustered and sulky, strands of hair sticking to her sweaty forehead, her cheeks flushed and her stomach convulsing every time you touched her. You began your slow pace again, your hands resting on her hips. She groaned but did not dare to rush you again.

Finally, you ate her out harder and faster, sucking on her folds, pushing your tongue inside her, drowning in her wetness and in sweet bliss at finally tasting your lover, having her all to yourself. You dragged your nails along the inside of her thigh and Eivor started whining as you caressed the skin just next to the center of her pleasure.

“Please, Y/N, dove, please don’t make me wait any longer, this is torture!” she cried out, her voice breaking in desperation. 

You pressed your tongue to her pulsing nub and slowly pushed two fingers inside her. Her cunt sucked your fingers in eagerly, contracting around you as Eivor moaned in relief. You curled your fingers upward and she cried out your name, grabbing your free wrist so hard you were certain she would leave a bruise. Having found her sweet spot, you continued to fuck her while leaving lovebites on her hips and thighs, the sting making her hiss and close her thighs around your head. Her moans got raspier, her breathing faster and her curses more ungodly.

Just when you thought she would reach her peak, she hooked a leg under your hip and flipped you both around in one swift motion. You were now lying on your back and Eivor was straightening up on top of you, her thick thighs framing your face and her shins pinning your shoulders to the mattress. You took in the breathtaking view, her flushed face, looking down at you with blown pupils, her round breasts, her slender stomach, and her throbbing heat right over your mouth. 

Eivor wasted no time getting back to where you left off, grinding down on your face and almost smothering you with that perfect, swollen cunt. You gave up any autonomy and just opened your mouth, reveling in the softness and the sweet and sour taste of her juices on your tongue. Eivor leaned back and braced herself on your hips. She looked glorious riding your face, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulders and shining in the light of the fire, the droplets of sweat on her chest sparkling like diamonds. She threw her head back and moved faster, her moans getting higher and higher as you tried to control your breathing. You would have been happy to die right there on the spot, smothered by Eivor’s thighs as she found her release on your tongue.

And she did find it, panting and moaning on top of you, her legs beginning to shake as she pushed down into your mouth, her body twitching and her hands digging into your hips as she rode out her high. Breathless, she fell to your side and lay splayed out on her back, her eyes closed as she tried to regain control of herself. You were just as thunderstruck, staring at the ceiling and trying to comprehend how monumentally your world had changed in the course of an hour. 

“You’re going to be the death of me, little bird. Tell me who taught you to torture a woman like that, I will kiss them and then rip their head off.” Eivor’s voice was shaky and as you turned your head, you could see her thighs still twitching. You reached out and gently brushed your fingers over her pulsing mound. She jerked up and slapped your hand away.

“Don’t make me punish you. You’ve done enough.” Her expression was stern, but her eyes were still cloudy from the high. You just threw her an innocent smile and she gave you her wonderful crooked grin. 

You sat up. How could you tell her that this was your first time without scaring her off? She had been gentle with you at first, yes, but that was surely because she knew of her own strength and did not want to hurt you. 

“No one taught me," you said. She raised her eyebrows. 

“So you just naturally know your way around a woman’s loins and did everything right from the first time?”

You lowered your head. 

“Well, you tell me. Did I?”

She sat up as well and lifted your chin with her fingers, forcing you to look at her. The fire lit her face from the side and her eyes were practically smoldering. 

“Are you telling me this was your first time? Come on, don’t joke about those things.” You swallowed.

“It was. Forgive me for not telling you, I thought it did not matter. You were perfect, everything was perfect.” You cupped her cheek with your hand. Her expression was a mixture of disbelief, concern, and astonishment.

“Freya’s tears,” she mumbled, “you should have told me. I would have been more gentle, more careful. My love, did I hurt you?” 

You smiled at her, overwhelmed by your love for your gentle warrior.

“Eivor, as I said, you were perfect.” You crawled on her lap, straddling her thighs while holding her face in both hands. “In fact, you were almost too gentle. I am not made of glass, my fierce _drengr_.”

You licked your lips, grinding your hips against her. Eivor rolled her eyes at you. She wrapped one arm around you and held you tight to her chest, then she pushed herself up with the other and scooted up to the headboard, leaning her back against it. She ran her fingers through your hair, looking up at you in awe.

“Y/N, you are incredible. You amaze me every day.”

You placed a soft kiss on her lips before moving on to her jaw and down her neck. 

“I’m learning from the best,” you mumbled against her skin and gently bit down. A small moan escaped Eivor’s lips and you rolled your hips forward again. Her hands wandered up your thighs and around to cup your ass, gently at first. As you left another love bite on her neck, her grip on your ass tightened and she began guiding your hips, rocking them against her, grabbing your cheeks so hard you felt your already wet cunt open up for her. 

You moaned and pulled her hair back so she would look up at you. You could see her strained throat contract as she swallowed. She opened her mouth and you let a string of spit drip from your bottom lip onto her tongue. Her eyes were full of raw desire, a hunger that you had only seen in them when Eivor had set out for her last raid. A wave of heat came over you and you lowered your head, running your tongue over your lover's and mixing your spit with hers, your tongues dancing between you as more blood rushed between your legs and you could feel your own wetness run down your thigh.

You placed one leg between Eivor’s and began rocking back and forth on her thigh, her hands so tight on your ass you knew she would leave more marks. As you looked down, you could see her skin glisten where your dripping cunt had slid over it. The sight only made you hungrier and you pressed down on her, groaning at the friction. You grabbed Eivor’s jaw and made her look at you, then you pushed your thumb into her mouth, watching as she sucked on it, her hands never leaving your body. God, she was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. 

One of her hands wandered further down between your cheeks and suddenly you felt her fingertips at your entrance. You let out a deep, almost feral moan as you pushed back against her and they slid in easily. Continuing to rub yourself over her thigh, you arched your back so Eivor could go deeper and she did, pushing them in to the knuckle and twisting them until your eyes rolled back and you could not even scream, your lungs giving out at the overwhelming sensation. 

“More,” you whispered. Eivor grabbed you and threw you to the side. You landed on all fours, her fingers still inside you as she knelt next to your hips and thrust into you from behind. She added a third finger, filling you up, stretching you, and making you cry out first in pleasure, then in pain when her hand came down hard on your ass. You pressed your face into the mattress to stifle a scream. The sting was delightful. 

Eivor was ravenous, thrusting into you at a relentless pace, slapping your ass again and again, the sound ringing in your ears and the sharp pain making your blood rush. You were almost there, a whining, moaning mess beneath your warrior, and she knew. She reached around your stomach with her other hand and began rubbing circles into your pulsing flesh, brushing the rough pads of her fingers over your sensitive nub, riding the knife’s edge of not enough and too much. You saw nothing but red, heard nothing but the wet sounds of her fingers pumping in and out of you and her groans, then something inside you dissolved and your high hit you like a gigantic wave. It knocked the wind out of your lungs at first, then it made you scream out, Eivor’s fingers pressing on the perfect spots inside and out as your juices covered her hand and you collapsed on the bed, devoid of all control of your muscles.

Eivor lifted you up with ease, pulling you into her arms so your head could rest on her shoulder and pulling the thick quilt over your body. Her fingertips caressed your back as you fought for air and she pressed her lips against the top of your head, humming into your hair. 

“I think you broke me,” you mumbled, your voice cracking. Eivor chuckled and pulled you closer. 

“I think I finally wore you out for the first time. I always wondered during training how much you would take without complaining or tiring, now I know.”

You wanted to protest, to tell her you were still ready for more, but you could not even lift your head. Instead, you sighed and asked for a kiss. Eivor smiled at you and gently pressed her lips against yours. 

“Sleep now, my precious dove. We have all the time in the world.”

The last thing you felt was Birna jumping on the bed and curling up at your feet. You had completely forgotten about her. Sending her a mental apology, you drifted away into a dreamless sleep.

-

When you woke the next morning, you were no longer in Eivor’s arms. Your eyes flew open in alarm - had she left again? But she was still next to you, a thin blanket covering only her legs and hips while her bare chest lay free, her muscular arms thrown over her head. Her long, blonde hair was splayed out on the pillow around her head, making it seem as if she was blessed with a halo. Her breath was deep and steady, her mouth hanging slightly open. God, she was a sight to behold.

The next thing you noticed were your sore muscles. Every part of your body hurt, partly still from training, partly from what had happened last night. You felt blood rush to your cheeks at the thought of what you and Eivor had done. How excitingly forbidden, how perfectly blasphemous, how deliciously vulgar it had been to finally give yourself to the woman you loved. And for her to give herself to you as well. You laid flat on your back and stretched your arms over your head, trying to get rid of some of the pain, but it was no use. You closed your eyes and before you knew it, you had fallen asleep again.

The second time you woke, you kept your eyes closed for a moment longer, drinking in the beauty of the morning. The fire was crackling again - Eivor must have already woken up and started it - and the air was so warm you had balled up the blanket next to you in your sleep and now lay naked on the mattress. You could feel Eivor lying next to you, the heat radiating off her body and her breathing, now different than before. She was no longer asleep. 

“I know you’re awake,” came her voice from next to you and you opened your eyes, turning your head to look into the deep blue eyes of your lover. She gave you a vicious smile.

“Spread your legs.” You blinked at her in confusion, instinctively closing your thighs at first. Blood rushed right to your core and you noticed how swollen you were, your cunt still sticky from last night’s juices and already wet again, ready for your _drengr_ to take you. You felt untamed and fantastically filthy. 

“Eivor, I’m still so sore from yesterday,” you whined, but you knew your eyes were saying something entirely different, wandering over her lips and down to her breasts, finally resting on her hand that casually waited on the bed between you. 

“Open up,” she ordered, her voice deeper and more stern. Slowly, you opened your knees and let them fall to the side, the muscles in your thighs screaming at the strain.

Eivor’s hand began to move over your breasts, your nipples hardening right away at the mere thought of her touch. She rolled one of them between her fingers and you gasped at the sensation. Her fingers slowly brushed over your stomach and hipbones, then she scooted closer, bracing herself on her elbow and cupping your mound with her hand. You could not keep your hips still and they buckled up into her touch. 

She hummed in satisfaction, then one of her fingers dipped into your pooling wetness and dragged it up between your folds. You bit your lip to keep yourself from crying out, but Eivor gave you a fierce look and you let your mouth hang open, taking a deep breath to brace yourself for what was to come. Before you could tell what was happening, she had pushed three fingers deep inside you, sending shockwaves through your body. Eivor swallowed your moan with a deep, wet kiss, then she began pumping her fingers in and out at an excruciatingly slow pace, opening you up for her and making you hers. 

After a while, she sat up and knelt between your legs, her eyes fixed on your swollen cunt and her fingers inside you. Slowly, she reached down and her hand vanished beneath the dark curls at her center. She looked down at you through half-closed eyelids, her tongue quickly running over her bottom lip before she let out a low groan. Part of you wanted to get up and touch her, another part wanted to lay down and watch her in all her glory. 

Eivor made that decision for you when she lifted one of your legs and scooted closer, straddling your thigh at first. Then she rolled her hips forward against you and your cores suddenly touched. It was like nothing you had ever felt before. Hot and wet, her pulse beating against yours, connected at your most intimate points as Eivor let her head fall back and groaned your name. You quickly found a perfect pace, both of you grinding your hips together and interlocking your fingers with each other as your voices got louder and your moans got higher.

You were close and you could tell Eivor was, too. You wanted to reach the peak with her, to experience this high together. She lowered her head and your eyes met. Her movements got smaller and she increased the pressure, the smacking noises of your cunts rubbing against each other filling your head along with the rush of your own blood.

“Come for me,” Eivor growled and just like that, you were over the edge. You held on to her hand for dear life as you watched her arch her back and cry out on top of you, both of your moans and whines building a beautiful song of pleasure.

Your warrior collapsed on top of you and you relished in the feeling of her weight pressing down on your chest, her body encasing yours and shielding you from the world while you laid in intimate togetherness and breathed each other’s air.

After a few moments of silence, Eivor let herself fall to the side and stroked your cheek with her thumb. Her gaze was full of love. 

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me,” she whispered.

“I love you,” you whispered back, wrapping an arm around her waist. 

A meow from the door made you both lift your heads and look over to a grumpy Birna. Eivor laughed.

“I’m sorry my dear, I will free you in a moment. You will get a feast from me tonight, I promise.” 

She turned to you.

“Fancy a bath?”

-

**Author's note** : Thank you so much for all your comments and kudos! If you'd like to support me, you can buy me a coffee [here](https://ko-fi.com/abbysfrenchbraid)


	12. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eivor and the reader take a bath and prepare for a funeral. The reader makes some new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for bearing with me, I'm currently spending up to 8 hours a day studying and it's really hard to get myself to write so I apologize for making you all wait so long for this chapter. The next chapter is going to be kind of an epilogue so this work is almost complete. It's probably going to be another while until I upload the last chapter.
> 
> Content warning for nudity and language, smut, talk of death, hinted abusive relationship, Eivor being a himbo

Wrapped in nothing but your fur coats, you and Eivor made your way up to Valka’s hut for a bath, laughing and chasing each other through the snow, almost slipping several times. You were breathing heavily when you arrived and Eivor knocked at Valka’s door, still chuckling to herself. 

The door opened and the still sleepy, slightly confused seeress rubbed her eyes before looking both of you up and down. Then her eyes brightened with realization. 

“Oh.” The hint of a smirk was on her lips.

Eivor just gave her a grunt and put an arm around your shoulders.

“Good morning, Valka. We’re here to ask to use your bath. If you’re indisposed, we can come back later.”

Valka made a gesture as if she was swatting away invisible flies and shook her head, stepping back to invite you in. 

“No, no, it’s fine. I should be up and at the longhouse anyway, thank Freya you woke me. It was a long night.” 

You thought back to the red-haired woman, Yngvor, wailing at her dead husband’s side. Valka had probably stayed at her side all night. Eivor let you enter first before ducking through the small door frame. 

“Oh yes,” the warrior said, concern in her voice, “is Yngvor alright?”

Valka was bustling around the hut, putting on her coat, throwing a thick knitted shawl around her shoulders, and covering her head with a woolen cap before putting on the metal headdress. 

“Yngvor, right,” she muttered as she put a few things in a linen bag and hung it over her shoulder. “She was better after the ceremony. The Gods have given her new strength.”

Valka avoided both your gazes. 

“We shall say our farewells to Alfarr tonight.” She sighed. “Stay as long as you like. I will see you at dusk.”

And with that, she was out the door. You and Eivor exchanged a look, but the blonde just shrugged and took the kettle from the fire, heading out to fill it with snow. 

You had a look at Valka’s cupboard for a few herbs and essences that you wanted to add to the bath. Annoyed by your long sleeves, you let your fur coat fall to the floor. It was warm enough in the hut and you were admittedly looking forward to Eivor’s face when she came back and saw you standing there naked. 

A gasp-like noise at the door told you the moment had come faster than you had expected. You turned around grinning, but the smile froze on your face when you saw not your beautiful _drengr_ , but Yngvor standing in the door. She was just as shocked as you were. Then, she just nodded slowly and turned to leave, visibly upset. In a flash, you had picked up your fur coat, punching your hands into the sleeves and pulling it tight around your body as you ran after her. The snow stung on the bare skin of your feet but you gritted your teeth and sprinted after the fire-haired woman, quickly catching up to her. 

You put a hand on her shoulder and she whirled around, tears in her eyes but no anger, no hatred, things you were so used to seeing in both Randvi’s and Eivor’s gaze. You swallowed hard and tried to regain control of your breathing.

“Yngvor, right?”

She nodded, not meeting your gaze. 

“It’s not what it looks like. Please just believe me, I am so sick and tired of people seeing things and making assumptions. Too many tears have been spilled in this godforsaken village because of jealousy and stupidity.”

Now her eyes were focused, wide and alert. She looked very confused and maybe even slightly offended. As was her right. But you would not stand for another tragedy.

“I am with Eivor. I was waiting for her in Valka’s hut. Valka went out looking for you, I think she is in the longhouse.” You gave an exasperated sigh. “Just trust me, alright? Valka would never do anything to hurt you. Neither would I.”

Yngvor cleared her throat.

“I do not understand half the things you just spoke of, but I believe you. Thank you for telling me. I will find Valka now.” She gave you a respectful nod and turned away, making her way down the slippery path. 

Your feet were now nothing but numb, painful stumps. Cursing and whimpering, you ran back up the path and stumbled into the warm room, leaning against the wall and squeezing your eyes shut as you tried to breathe through the pain.

“Where were you, then?” You open your eyes to see an amused Eivor sitting back against the wooden table, her coat hanging open and revealing her slender, strong body. Now it was you that was thrown off guard. You closed the door, took a few steps toward her, and pressed your cold hands to the warm skin on her sides, making her gasp. 

“Yngvor came by,” you said casually. “I told her where to find Valka.” 

Eivor squinted at you for a second, then she took your hands in hers and blew air into the hollow of her palms to warm your fingers. Her longing gaze met yours as she started kissing your fingertips. 

“I think the water should be ready,” she mumbled, and indeed, the kettle was steaming already. Eivor poured the water into the bathtub which was already half-filled and you threw in some flower petals and herbs before carefully dipping a foot into the water. It felt like tiny needles were prickling your cold skin, but you shrugged off your coat and stepped into the wooden tub. Eivor’s warm hands were on your back immediately, caressing your skin, wandering to your stomach, and coming to rest on your breasts for a moment as she placed tiny kisses on the back of your neck. You sighed and let your head fall back onto her shoulder. 

She stepped into the tub behind you and you both lowered yourselves into the water together, her legs framing yours and your back leaning against her chest. She wrapped her arms around you and pressed her forehead to the back of your head, inhaling your scent. You had caught her doing this quite a lot during the last weeks, even though you did not think she knew you had noticed. She used every opportunity to come close to you and when she did, she always inhaled deeply, nostrils widening and face softening as she took in your essence. It was something you had never known anyone else to do, but when Eivor did it, it just felt natural, real and raw, primal and poetic at the same time. You were not even sure if she did it on purpose. 

Smiling softly, you placed your hands on her gloriously thick thighs and sighed. This was your lover, your warrior. Yours alone. You stayed like that for a while, warm and dreamy, skin on skin. You were completely at peace. It felt like you were dissolving slowly, the light, sweet smell of the flower petals and the strong musk of the herbs weaving their way into your lungs and your head, the water reaching exactly the same temperature as your skin and your breath becoming one with the heavy, damp air in the room. Eivor was breathing deeply behind you, the rise of her chest against your back a reminder of how real all this was, how close you were, and what had happened last night. 

The thought of the last few hours lit a spark between your hips. You closed your eyes and wandered back between those white sheets, into Eivor’s arms, your tongues entangled and her breath hot on your face, her mouth on your stomach, her teeth in the skin of your thighs, her fingers inside you. Eivor seemed to be thinking the same, or maybe your body had given you away, because her fingers now lazily trailed down over your ribs, grazing your hips and softly stroking the inside of your thigh. You opened your legs almost unnoticeably and arched your back ever so slightly. 

Your lover kissed the silky patch of skin behind your ear before playfully nibbling on your earlobe. You sighed and turned your head to look at her. The soft daylight pouring in through the small windows and the few candles lit around the room showed Eivor in a completely different light than the low fire in her hut last night. She was sober now, well-rested and calm. And still, there was no doubt in her eyes, no nervousness or uncertainty. She was with the woman she loved, she was with you, and she wanted no one else. 

You pressed your lips against hers, gentle at first, then more demanding, and Eivor obliged. Opening her mouth for you, her tongue brushed against yours and she gently bit down on your bottom lip, tugging on it before letting go and coming back for an even fiercer kiss. Her hand was now dangerously close to your core, her fingers drawing small circles on your skin, making you want more, feel them where you needed them most, feel her fill you up again, become hers. 

She took her time inching closer until your breathing was shallow and you were just about to start whining and begging when she dipped a finger between your folds and dragged it up slowly, brushing over that delicate nub and making you buck your hips forward involuntarily. 

Eivor wrapped her flat hand around your throat and pushed your chin up so she could kiss the soft skin there while her other hand began moving up and down along your cunt, not yet diving in, still teasing but at least giving you some form of friction. You sighed and dug your fingers into her thighs, hearing her breathe in a little more sharply than usual behind you. You lightly scratched your nails along the hard muscle, all the way up to her hip, and let your hand linger on there, your thumb hooked in the crease of her thigh against her stomach, just close enough to make her fingers tremble.

She bit into your neck, maybe as punishment, maybe as encouragement, and finally, her hand sunk lower. She pushed one finger inside you effortlessly, drawing a soft moan from you as you relished in the sore, tingling feeling in your raw, swollen flesh. Eivor had almost destroyed you last night, and you had edged her on every time she slowed down. You were already looking forward to tonight, longing for her to throw you on the bed and have her way with you, split you open and tear you apart with those delicious fingers and that oh-so-skilled tongue.

A second finger slipped into you and you arched your back, pushing your shoulders back into Eivor’s chest. She was still going at an infuriatingly slow pace, refusing to touch that perfect, deep spot that always sucked you into an abyss of pleasure. You let your hand wander further down between your thighs, but she gently took your wrist and put your hand to your chest, intertwining her fingers with yours and squeezing your hand as she finally curled her fingers inside you and you let out a deep moan, whispering her name as you sank into that deep, dark place filled with overwhelming lust. You could already feel the heat build in the pit of your stomach as Eivor slowly pumped her fingers into you, murmuring sweet nothings in your ear.

“You’re such a good girl, taking me all night, again and again, screaming for me and falling apart on the tip of my tongue. I will forever carry that picture with me, you spread out for me, blushing and embarrassed but overcome by your desire for me. Your legs shaking, your lips swollen and your-” she thrust her fingers deep inside you and your eyes rolled back into your head, your throat closing up as you choked on your moan - “beautiful, soaked cunt open and ready for me, your juices on my tongue, your hot flesh around my fingers.” 

Her hand was on your throat again and she squeezed it lightly, humming into the crook of your neck and slowly rubbing her thumb over your hard, pulsing bundle of heat while dragging her fingertips over that sweet spot inside you. 

“Fuck, Eivor, oh God -” You fell into the abyss, nothing but hot darkness surrounding you, the pressure inside your body exploding and leaving your body with a few high-pitched cries before you landed softly, cushioned by Eivor’s body wrapped around you, her mouth on your skin, her hand cupping your throbbing center. 

She gently stroked your head that was resting back against her shoulder.

“My love, my love, my love,” she whispered. You opened your eyes and tried to return to the present; the soft light in the cabin, the warm water carrying you, your lover’s skin against yours. 

“You will ruin me one day, and I will thank you for it,” you rasped and Eivor’s chest convulsed in a silent laugh behind you. 

“Nothing you don’t want, my darling dove.” She held out her flat palm for you to place your hand in, then she kissed it softly. “You really are the most beautiful, sensual, breathtaking woman I have ever known. I still can’t believe I get to call you mine.”

You smiled and let yourself slip a bit deeper into the water. 

“I am yours only, forever.” 

-

You stayed in the bathtub until the water was lukewarm, just caressing each other’s skin, mumbling promises and confessions, washing each other’s hair with that wonderful pine soap, and exchanging long, slow kisses. Then you rubbed the water off your skin with some linen rags Valka had left on a stool for you and Eivor combed out your hair by the fire until it had completely dried. She wove two delicate braids into your hair, one on either side framing your forehead and wrapping around your head like a crown. She braided a few heather blossoms into your hair, the red buds looking like tiny rubies in your diadem.

The whole process took longer than expected because it was constantly interrupted by kisses and hugs, little dances around the hut and unrestrained giggling. Finally, you wrapped your fur coat around your body and Eivor did the same before dragging the wooden tub to the door and emptying it into the shrubbery. You waited for her to put it back in its place, then you both rushed down to your hut, ignoring a few turned faces from the women washing linen in front of a hut nearby and slipping inside with Birna who had already been waiting at the door. 

You threw yourself on the bed and Eivor jumped right on top of you, straddling your hips as she placed a hand on your cheek and gave you her most devilish smirk. You were just about to pull her down into a kiss when someone banged on the door. 

“Eivor, it’s almost noon!” It was Randvi, sounding annoyed and exhausted. “We have a burial to prepare and the games for tonight. Yule is not over, and you are a part of this!”

Eivor groaned and let her head fall on your chest. 

“I’m coming! I’ll be at the longhouse in a moment,” she yelled into your skin before dragging the tip of her tongue over your rosy nipple. You had to hold your breath to not give anything away. Randvi sighed outside.

“Alright, hurry then. You had your fill of pleasure last night, now it’s time to work!” 

You looked at Eivor in alarm, but she just grinned. You could hear steps fading away on the path.

“I expect the whole village may have heard you last night,” she mumbled, her chest vibrating on your stomach as she spoke. You covered your eyes with the crook of your arm, deciding you would never leave this room again. 

Eivor rolled off the bed dramatically, catching herself at the last second and making her way over to her trunk in search of clothes that were not dirty from training, bloody from fighting, or filthy from last night. With a sour look on her face, she put on an old, brown tunic that had several holes at the shoulders and along the beltline, wrapped her leather belt around her hips, and let the weapons fall into place. She laced up her thick boots and threw a beaver fur cape around her shoulders. You pulled the quilt up to your chin and gave her a sympathetic smile.

“I’ll wash everything today, I promise. Tomorrow you will look like a glorious warrior again.” _Instead of a young butcher’s apprentice_ , was what you both thought, but Eivor’s mouth twitched and she came over to you, bowing down to kiss your forehead. 

“Come join me for some food in a while, I first need to plan out the burial and the Yuletide festivities with Randvi.” She squinted at your flushed cheeks. “Do not feel ashamed of your love for me, my darling dove.”

“It is not my love that they judge me for,” you murmured, fiddling with the hem of the quilt. Eivor laughed. 

“Things may have happened very quietly and secretly where you come from, but I promise you, while my clansmen may jest and tease, the ones who have known love will also know what it does to you. Where I come from, we celebrate love and those who get to relish in it.”

With a last kiss to your temple, she rushed out the door, leaving you and Birna to ponder that sentiment. 

The cat curled up at your side and you absentmindedly stroked her fur for a while before admitting to yourself that you were too hungry to stay here any longer. There was no point in hiding, you were now with Eivor and everyone should know it. She was yours. That thought gave you a burst of strength and you swung your legs out of the bed and got dressed quickly, slipping into your only clean tunic and woolen underpants. It was not exactly impressive, but it would keep you warm at least. 

You collected some snow from the front of the hut and set up the kettle for your washing, then you gathered the courage to put on your wooden clogs and head over to the other women who were washing their clothes together. They had big wooden tubs, washboards, and some kind of strong-smelling soap, maybe lemon balm and sheep fat? Their chatter stopped when you came closer and they blinked into the sun behind your head, waiting for you to speak. You took a deep breath.

“I do not think I’ve been properly introduced to either of you. I’m Y/N, from Williamsburg.” Their faces were friendly, curious even. “I just wanted to ask… can I join you? I do not have the tools for washing and dear God, I need to clean a mountain of dirty clothes.” You laughed awkwardly and wanted to slap yourself, but held your breath instead, waiting for them to ridicule you or send you away.

One of them, a woman a bit older than you, with thick black hair and dressed in a beautiful violet linen dress with a beige apron, got up and smiled at you. 

“I’m Hilda. I came over with the Raven clan from Norway. You’re very welcome to bring your washing. We all do ours together every nine days, that way we have company and it is not such a dull task when you’re with friends.” Your heart jumped in your chest. 

“Oh thank you, you are incredibly kind,” you said with a relieved smile, “I’ll be right back.”

You whirled around and rushed back to the hut to gather all the dirty clothes you and Eivor had thrown on a pile over the last few days, ignoring the growing smelly mound and the dwindling stacks of clean clothes. 

“Birna, they were so nice to me,” you told her quietly so they would not hear you speak to a cat, “I may be on my way to finding some new friends!” The cat yawned and stretched her paws deliciously as an answer. You wrapped your hands around the big ball of dirty linen, trying not to drop any smaller pieces, and staggered over to the other women. 

Hilda led you to one of the steaming tubs and told you to dump them all in. With a grunt, you let go of the clothes and started pressing them down to fully submerge them in the milky soap water. 

“First, we soak the fabric and let it sit in the hot water. Then we rub it over the washboards to get rid of the dirt.” She handed you one of the wooden boards with deep ridges in it. “After that, we wring them out and change the water in the tubs so we can wash the soap out of the fabric. Then we make a big fire and hang the clothes around it so they don’t freeze out here before they can dry.”

Another woman, younger than you, with straw blonde hair in a long braid gave you an encouraging smile. 

“And when we wash, Hilda tells us about Norway and her old clan or sometimes Valka comes by and tells us stories about the old days and the Gods. And when the sun comes out-” her eyes were practically sparkling with joy - “we sing songs together.” 

The other women nodded joyfully.

“That’s right, Inga,” Hilda said as she knelt down next to you and began kneading your clothes in the water. “Do you have a song for us today?”

Without hesitation, Inga took a deep breath and began to sing. Her voice was truly the most wonderful thing you had ever heard. Clear and bright it filled the air, her words foreign to you but her expression and the tone of the song telling you about the sun on bright white snow, about melting ice, about warm wind, and the first green leaves on trees. You would not have been surprised if the snow actually started melting and spring came after being called by this angelic voice, this beautiful young woman, and her marvelous lyrics. 

In the second chorus, a few of the other women joined in. The song was long, stretching over dozens of verses and telling a long story of the four seasons and the way the world changed. Sometimes Hilda whispered a few translations to you. While only Inga seemed to know all the verses, everyone had now learned the chorus and even you dared to sing along after a while. The sun was warming your face, your hands were red and warm from the hot water, your arms growing tired from the washboard but you were not going to give up anytime soon. A few women sang along in passing and three younger girls, wrapped in thick woolen coats, sat down on a log closeby, giggling and trying to remember the words. 

You were filled with deep, warm satisfaction and hope for the days to come. This clan was your home now, your family, and you were getting more and more certain that you were going to find your peace here. Not only that, but also new friends and new knowledge and new songs. You had forgotten all about your hunger and the sun had already wandered a good bit further when you remembered that Eivor was waiting for you in the longhouse. You were just about done hanging up the wrung-out clothes on a thick string next to the fire and listening to the others speaking in a funny mix of Norwegian and English. 

“Hilda?” You took a step towards her and she raised her eyebrows at you, her lips curved in a soft smile.

“Yes, my dear?”

“I need to go now, I’m sorry I cannot stay longer. Thank you so much for taking me in and teaching me, it was a wonderful morning.” 

She nodded, a knowing look on her face.

“Don’t leave Eivor waiting. It was nice meeting you. You will make a fine Raven.”

You blushed and lowered your gaze - of course she knew. Thanking her again, you turned and made your way down to the longhouse. When you entered, you could already hear Eivor’s raspy laugh in a corner and after following the sound of her voice, met her at Sfáva’s hearth fire. They were both drinking mead and Sfáva had put a few sausages and vegetables on the metal grill over the fire. Eivor was throwing dried berries into the air and catching them with her mouth, cheered on by the old cook’s almost toothless laughter. 

When your _drengr_ saw you, she sprang up with a cry of joy and pulled you closer, putting an arm around your shoulders as you both faced Sfáva. Eivor said something in Norwegian, something about _min kone_ , and Sfáva’s eyes widened with excitement. She got up to squeeze your hand and pat Eivor’s arm, clearly very pleased to find out you two were now officially together. 

“Very good, very good,” she repeated as she took the sausages and vegetables from the fire with her bare fingers without flinching. She put them in two bowls before adding a few slices of bread to each and handing them to you.

“ _Takk_ ,” you said and nodded your head respectfully. Eivor laughed and probably made another joke to Sfáva, then you two sat down at one of the long tables. A few other people were scattered around the hall, engaged in humming conversation, some younger women were sweeping the floors and scattering fresh straw for tonight, others were lighting candles as daylight was already beginning to fade. 

“What took you so long, little bird?” There was no blame in Eivor’s voice; she seemed terribly happy considering the loss of a friend yesterday and the planning of his burial just now. 

“I did our washing, remember? I met Helga and Inga.” You placed a hand on hers. “But what about you? How was your meeting with Randvi?”

“Oh, isn’t Inga incredible?” Eivor leaned forward conspiratorially. “She must sing at our wedding. Her voice will bless the day and our bond for eternity.” 

Your head was spinning. Wedding? You had never spoken about such things before. Yes, it was common here as it had been in Williamsburg to marry before… intertwining, and you had certainly seen that for the two of you in the future, but you had been a couple for less than a day. 

“Eivor, I…” your voice trailed off. She seemed completely unbothered by your hesitation. 

“Tonight we shall have games, shooting targets and axe throwing and the like. Do you care to join? I think you could actually show some of our _vikingr_ how it is done.”

You were still too flustered to answer her, quickly stuffing your mouth with a way too hot sausage and burning your tongue, coughing and trying to will away the tears in your eyes. Great. Eivor just waited and smiled. You gulped down some of your ale and hit your chest a few times to help your lungs settle before taking a deep breath and nodding. 

“Thank you,” you said, your voice pressed and your throat still cramped up, “I’d very much like to attend.” 

“It is settled then,” Eivor said with a satisfied tone, downing the last of her drink. “If you want to, you can do a few test shots on the targets with me.”

You sat up straight. 

“Wouldn’t that be considered cheating?” 

Eivor waved her hand between you and made an indistinct noise. 

“All the other men have participated in these games for years, they know their way around the field. You, however, only have a few weeks of practice.” 

You finished your plate, still fighting to control your breathing. Eivor was practically buzzing. She grabbed both your plates and rushed over to Sfáva, thanking her for the meal and coming back to take your hand and pull you with her. The world outside was already darkening and everyone seemed to be in a great mood. You were still puzzled by how quickly they had accepted yesterday’s loss, but Yule must have just come at the right time. 

Hand in hand, you made your way through the village, Eivor greeting people left and right as you tried to memorize their names and faces. You really had to start getting to know other people than the few Englishmen you had come here with. You arrived at a wooden stand in front of an open space between huts and wooden fence, woven straw targets with colorful markings set up at different heights and distances. Eivor took one of the longbows leaning against the railing and handed it to you before picking up a quiver and giving you the first arrow. 

You had only practiced shooting a few times, most of your training involving heavy weaponry and close combat as opposed to less intrusive ranged combat. You nocked the arrow and straightened up, pulling the string back until your fingertips rested right on your cheek. The bow was wonderful, the smooth wood bending slightly and the leather grip firm beneath your fingers. The feathers on the arrow tickled your cheekbone. You adjusted your aim ever so slightly and slowly breathed out. Then you let the arrow fly. 

It hit its target perfectly, a tiny thump echoing off the wooden walls surrounding the area. Eivor cheered and gave you a kiss on the cheek. She handed you another arrow and you aimed for a target further away, the board turned slightly so it was not facing you completely straight on. This would be more difficult. You took another deep breath and released the string. 

This time, the arrow flew past the target and landed in a ball of straw. Eivor gave a delighted laugh and patted your shoulder.

“No worries, that was the hardest one. Work your way up from the close, easy ones to those further back. You’ll have more practice and confidence that way.” 

“That makes sense,” you mumbled and took a third arrow from the quiver. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Eivor pressing her lips together with anticipation.

You picked a target that was also turned slightly, but closer to your stand. You had to get this one. Slowly, you nocked the arrow and pulled back, feeling the muscles in your upper back contract and gripping the bow as tight as you could before relaxing your fingers and holding it more loosely. Now you had complete control over the smallest movements of your weapon. You fixed your eyes on the target, pulled back the arrow just a little bit further and then let it soar through the air, hitting the red center perfectly. 

With a content grin, you lowered the bow and turned to Eivor. She looked proud. 

“Wonderful, little bird. You will honor me today.” 

You leaned the bow against the railing again and Eivor went to collect the arrows before putting them back into the quiver. She held her arm out for you and you dove in, snaking your arm underneath her coat and around her waist so she had to wrap part of the fur around your body and hold you closer. She squeezed your shoulder and you made your way back to the hut. 

“The washing!” You suddenly remembered, quickening your pace. The fire had almost burned down and only your and Eivor’s clothes were still hanging around it. The wolf-kissed already went inside while you quickly pulled them off and brought them into the warm hut, throwing them on the bed next to Birna. Before you could even try to begin folding them and putting them away, the cat had claimed her new throne. 

You huffed and threw yourself on the bed next to her, scratching her tiny head until she purred. Eivor sat down next to you and gave the cat a loving smile. 

“Our little queen,” she mumbled, and she was right. Birna truly was the queen of this hut, this village, maybe even this whole clan. A few days ago, you had seen her walk up to Sigurd in the longhouse and he had bowed his head and thrown her some bacon from the plate he had just assembled for himself. She had taken it gracefully and made her way into an alcove to devour it in peace. Even he was no match for the mighty Birna.

You turned to face Eivor and drew your fingertips over her wrist. 

“Eivor. You have been in such a great mood today. I do not understand. You lost Alfarr last night, why does it seem to me no one is mourning him?” 

Your _drengr_ ’s face was calm and smooth; she did not flinch at the name of the friend she had lost. She took your hand in hers and thought for a moment before answering.

“My love, I think you and I have very different perceptions of death. _Vikingr_ know that this life is only a step on a long road, a chapter in a long story. They will do everything they can to bring glory and prosperity to their clan or their family so that when they die, they can go on to Valhalla. This is why we always choose to be brave, why we act instantly and without hesitation, why we fight so hard for what we want. We never know when death might tap our shoulder, but when it does, we want to go gracefully, knowing we have always done everything the best we could and given everything we could give.”

You let her words sink in. That did make a lot of sense. While the Vikings believed in an afterlife just like you did and acted toward reaching that afterlife, it filled their life with a want for the good, with courage and pride and bravery. You instead had always been taught to cower before God, before the idea of going to Hell, making yourself small and hoping that your missteps would become just as invisible as you. Your ideas of death were very different, indeed. 

“But… Yngvor? Why was she so shaken?”

Eivor laid down on her side next to you.

“We all were. It had been a brutal fight, and the moment a person just vanishes from your life is always horrible. I did not know Alfarr too well,” she gave you a wondering look, “and I was not close with him. I still hate losing men in battle. I often blame myself for not protecting them.”

You were about to protest, but she raised a hand and smiled. 

“I know, we are all trained fighters and I cannot be responsible for everyone. I know. I struggled with this for a long time until Randvi helped me realize I can’t save everyone.” 

Eivor looked down at your intertwined fingers.

“I cannot tell you why his death hit Yngvor so hard. As far as I know, she was not very happy with him.” She sighed. “She was still very well off with him. He was away hunting most of the time, so she had a hut to herself and was well fed and clothed. Maybe she realized she lost that, too.”

You shook your head.

“I do not believe - Valka wouldn’t-” you stopped yourself from mindlessly stammering. “I do not believe Yngvor is like that. But she seemed to be a lot better today.”

Eivor let herself fall on her back with a thump and stared at the ceiling.

“The power of the Yule ritual,” she mumbled. “It really is a new beginning.”

You rolled over and crossed your arms over her chest, resting your chin on your hands and tracing her jawline with your gaze. Eivor’s comment about marrying earlier was still lingering in the back of your head. A year ago, you would have just hoped she would not bring it up again for a while. But you were no longer a small English girl hiding in the kitchens of Williamsburg. You were a fighter of the Raven Clan and you were Eivor’s right hand. It was time to be courageous. You cleared your throat and Eivor looked down at you. 

“Your talk about weddings and such surprised me earlier. I think it caught me off guard because I am just getting accustomed to the thought of being with you at all. You were a few steps ahead.” 

Eivor stroked your hair and smiled. 

“Oh, I know that. I just wanted to see how far ahead I was. This clan, this way of living is all I know. When people are lucky, they end up with someone they love. A lot of unions happen for other reasons. Take Randvi and Sigurd, for example. Randvi could have become a great _drengr_. She sacrificed that for peace.”

Her fingers were tickling your scalp and you were surprised to find the name of Eivor’s former lover no longer stung as much. Randvi had been through a lot, she had fought for what she loved and she had lost with dignity. 

“But the moment I realized what I feel for you and what the future could be if you joined my clan, I knew I wanted nothing more than to be with you. I have been thinking about this for a lot longer than you have, little bird.” 

You could suddenly breathe a little easier. Eivor had not said what she had said to pressure you or make you insecure. She had simply wanted to tell you just how serious she was about this.

“Well,” you pushed yourself further up the bed so you were face to face with your lover, “I can promise you this: I will not run. I will not cower and I will not go silent. I may need a little more time to adjust to all this, but I can’t imagine going down this path without you. You brought me into a new world and I plan to stay at your side as long as I am in it, and even beyond.”

You gently pressed your lips against Eivor’s and she held you close, her breath shallow as if she was afraid to scare you. You bumped your nose against hers, smiling down at her. 

“Eivor. What I am trying to tell you is that I, too, want Inga singing at our wedding.” 

Slowly, the corners of Eivor’s mouth lifted and she began to grin, her eyes overflowing with joy. She grabbed your head with both hands and gave you a few fierce kisses, accompanied by loud smacking noises that made you laugh and Birna grumble in protest. 

For the third time that day, someone at the door tore you from your little cloud of love. It was Randvi again. Eivor got up and opened the door for her while you sat up, brushing your hands over the fabric of your tunic and straightening your back. 

Randvi entered and gave you a respectful nod. 

“Good evening. The funeral is about to start and I cannot find Valka and Yngvor. Valka was supposed to send him off and Yngvor was supposed to say a few words.” You pressed your lips together, mind racing through the possibilities. Had Yngvor run off and Valka had gone after her? Or were they just hiding somewhere together, preoccupied with _other things_? 

“I have not seen Yngvor since before noon,” you said, trying to look as innocent and clueless as possible.

“I last saw Valka this morning,” Eivor added, shrugging. 

Randvi sighed and put her hands on her hips. 

“Well, Eivor, could you speak for him then?” 

“What, Valka’s or Yngvor’s part? Because I don’t suppose I am particularly good at either,” the blonde grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

“Oh come on, Eivor, please.” Randvi really looked desperate. “Sigurd is refusing, too. Someone of position needs to make this funeral bearable for all of us.” 

“Why can’t you do it?” Eivor asked, throwing her hands up. “You’re _of position_. Thor’s hammer, where are those two? Maybe I can find them before it’s too late.” 

Randvi gave her a doubtful look, but then she sighed and nodded. 

“Alright, you have until the moon rises. We already prepared everything. Hurry.” 

She stepped out into the dusk and you could make out Eda waiting on the path. Interesting. Those two really seemed to have grown inseparable. 

Eivor groaned and turned to you. 

“Help me?” She looked so hopeless and exasperated you had to laugh. You got up from the bed and patted her shoulder.

“Of course, my fierce warrior.” 

You quickly slipped into your more presentable clothes for the funeral, then you put another piece of wood into the fire for Birna and headed out. The stars were already shining down on you and you quickly made your way up to Valka’s hut. Of course, Randvi must have checked it before, but you decided that you were going to be as thorough as possible. 

Eivor banged on the door a few times, then she opened it and peered inside. Nothing. You squeezed past her and took a look around the room. Valka’s coat was thrown on the bed, things were lying around as if she had only been in here for a short while and grabbed things in haste. Her headdress was not here, neither were her boots. 

“She was here after we bathed. Maybe she went to Yngvor’s hut?”

Eivor huffed and you left the cabin together, carefully closing the door behind you and rushing down the path. Eivor knew the way and you quickly walked to the eastern end of the village, hastily greeting people in passing and asking some if they had seen Valka or Yngvor, which they all negated. How could they have just vanished off the earth?

Arriving at Yngvor’s hut, a fairly small one with a blue door and beautiful Yuletide decorations, Eivor almost rammed the door in with her fist. You had to stifle a laugh. She really did not want to give that speech. 

“Valka! Yngvor!” Eivor roared. “Wherever you are, I swear to Odin…” She banged on the door a few times more. An almost inaudible squeaking noise caught your attention and you turned to the direction it had come from. There was only a small stable in the open space next to the hut, probably for goats by the look of the prints in the snow. They had already been brought in for the night. You followed the human footprints to the stable and notice that there were two different sets of shoe prints frozen in time for you to find. 

You elbowed the groaning Eivor in the side and gave her a sign to be quiet and come with you. As you got closer, you could see movement in the small ridges between the wooden planks of the stable. 

“Valka?” you called out as you stopped a few feet from the stable door. Eivor looked dumbfounded. 

The door swung open with another squeak and Valka stood in front of you. The headdress was hanging dangerously lopsided and there was straw all over her clothes. Her cheeks were flushed. 

“Apologies. I must have… fallen asleep.”

Eivor crossed her arms and leaned back, savoring the moment. It was a little mean, but she deserved her moment of vindication. 

“With the goats?” she said, voice thick with amusement. 

“Yes,” Valka sighed, bowing her head and trying to brush the straw off her robe, “I fed them and thought I’d lie down for a moment. I must have forgotten the time.” 

“You are a mastermind, Y/N.” Eivor put her arm around your shoulder and grinned. Louder, she exclaimed, “You can come out now, Yngvor.” 

The red-haired woman came out of the stable behind Valka, just as dirty and embarrassed.

“Isn’t this lovely,” Eivor mused. “Well, we have a funeral to get to. And Y/N has a tournament to win. I guess we better get going.” 

Yngvor closed the stable door behind her without a word and Valka continued to frantically pull straw from her clothes. 

“I did not lie, we fell asleep,” she hissed at Eivor, who had stepped around the seeress and generously began to help her clean herself up. Yngvor gave you a side glance as you made your way to the longhouse. You gazed back curiously and she gave you a nervous smile. 

“What you must think of me,” she said quietly, fidgeting with the cord around her waist. 

“Oh, I have been in your position quite a lot lately,” you assured her. “I prefer not to think anything about others as long as I do not know them well enough to make a judgement.” 

“Thank you.” She looked relieved. Upon second thought, she touched your arm. You slowed down to fall behind Eivor and Valka and she took a deep breath. 

“You know, Alfarr was a strong man, a good fighter. For so long, the possibility of his departure, the possibility of change was not something I ever saw coming, I thought this was my life and it would be so for years to come.” You nodded. You knew the feeling. 

“When they brought him back last night, I felt like I had been pushed off a high ledge, a cliff maybe. I was flailing in the air, not knowing what to do or where to go next. While our life together may not have been a good one, he was all I had. I had accepted that. And all of a sudden, I had lost my footing and everything I had seen in my future had vanished.” 

You took her hand and squeezed it softly, giving her a knowing look.

“And then Valka came,” you said. 

“And then Valka came,” she repeated, a warm glow behind her eyes. “She reminded me of all the paths I can choose to take, of my role in this clan, and of my own strength. And suddenly it was all so clear.” 

Yngvor smiled at you.

“I chose her.” It really was that simple. You smiled back.

“So did I.” You looked ahead to Eivor who was already talking to Randvi and Sigurd, both of whom seemed very relieved at the recovery of their seeress. 

You stepped on the yard in front of the longhouse, where a pyre had been built and Alfarr had been placed on top, dressed in his best clothes and holding his axe firmly across his chest. He looked at peace. You gave Yngvor an encouraging nod and squeezed her hand one last time. 

“You can do this. Close this chapter and step into a better future.” 

You saw Yngvor and Valka exchange a look before stepping closer to the pyre together and waiting for everyone to settle down. Eivor came back to you and you wrapped an arm around her waist, finding comfort in her warmth. She pressed a kiss to the top of your head and hummed into your hair. 

“I love you, Eivor,” you whispered. “Don’t you dare leave me for Valhalla.” 

Eivor pulled you closer and pressed her cheek to your forehead. 

“I love you, too. We shall conquer this world together and live a long, fulfilled life before we sail to the shores of the afterlife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Visit me on tumblr!](https://abbysfrenchbraid.tumblr.com/) [Buy me a coffee ❤️](https://ko-fi.com/abbysfrenchbraid/)


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